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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How do I find out her name?

345 replies

sillysituation · 16/07/2021 10:59

In the grand scheme of life this isn't a major problem. But it's a little embarrassing.

We moved house in April last year so have been here a little over a year. The next door neighbour introduced herself in the first few weeks and was so lovely and friendly. She obviously would have told me her name at that point. Anyway, I've forgotten it 🙈

It's more and more awkward with each conversation. We see each other a lot and chat over the garden fence. I had a baby earlier this year and she was so interested in my pregnancy asking for updates on baby's arrival etc, and coos over baby every time I'm outside with her. Basically, I feel as though I have developed quite a lovely friendship with my neighbour over the past year or so. But I have no clue what her name is 😂

And now it feels like it's gone too far for me to ask, if that makes sense? If someone you'd been chatting to for the best part of a year suddenly said "sorry, what's your name again?" you'd be pretty offended right?

My question is ... how the hell do I find out her name without offending her?!

OP posts:
Angliski · 18/07/2021 04:30

Ask your friendly post person!

harverina · 18/07/2021 04:35

Just read this whole thread as I can’t sleep abs it’s hilarious! I’ve done the same before OP!

Love that you paid £3 to find out even though your DH knew all along. We’ve lived on our street for 9 years and my DH can’t believe I don’t remember all our neighbours names! I get them mixed up!

Just make sure you don’t call her by her middle name otherwise she might wonder how on earth you know it!!!

garlictwist · 18/07/2021 05:17

Glad you found out. Whatever you do, don't mention that you know her middle name. She'll wonder how you found out...

EvenleyWitch · 18/07/2021 05:35

Mob the postman to look at her mail next time he's about

3unda3 · 18/07/2021 07:55

I had a similar issue last year. Knew a lovely lady at school, I did a course with her husband. Knew his name, the kids names but she was always ‘A and B’s mum’. She had a baby during lockdown and after lockdown I asked to hold the baby while she dropped her kids into school.

A teacher approached me and asked if the baby was mine. I said he wasn’t and she asked who’s baby it was Hmm I had no idea on her name and the more I said ‘oh it’s As and Bs little brother’ and tried to explain who she was the worse it sounded. Thankgod she came over after the longest 2 mins of my life with the teacher pulling so many funny faces.

I had to explain what had happened and felt terribly embarrassed. She told me her name and we now laugh about it but I wish there had been another way to find it out without admitting it Grin

Terhou · 18/07/2021 07:59

It's going to be funny if you now start calling her Sarah only to find that she uses her second name.

SunshineCake · 18/07/2021 08:08

@Terhou

It's going to be funny if you now start calling her Sarah only to find that she uses her second name.
Don't say that!!
NobodyKnowsTiddlyPom · 18/07/2021 09:41

I remember years ago, when I was about 14 or 15, and I was babysitting for one of my mum’s friends. They had told me their little boy’s name before they left but I completely blanked and it was a bit weird not calling him by it. Couldn’t find it anywhere in his room so eventually hit on the idea of opening his nursery backpack to find his name written inside! Phew!

Blackcat333 · 18/07/2021 18:25

This is an easy one. Wait for the postman every day u til he delivers a letter, then just ask him quietly what the name is on the envelope 😂 Seriously, just ask the woman. My neighbour only ever spoke to my husband and I thought she was rude. So I e day I made a big point of speaking to her and it was because she didn't remember my name. I thought it was funny, and she will too and if she doesn't, I suspect that she will never speak to you again 😂

thisisnotmyllama · 18/07/2021 18:40

My mum had quite a developed friendship over several years with a lady whom she only ever knew as ‘The Woman I Talk To’. We used to laugh and wonder if she referred to my mum as the same thing.

Can’t your DH get chatting to the neighbour’s DH in a blokey way about their wives? Grin NeighbourH is bound to mention his DW’s name, at which point your DH suddenly remembers something he has to do, or ‘gets a phone call’ and runs indoors to tell you before he forgets it, so that you can write it down?

TopBlogger · 18/07/2021 19:24

@Blackcat333

This is an easy one. Wait for the postman every day u til he delivers a letter, then just ask him quietly what the name is on the envelope 😂 Seriously, just ask the woman. My neighbour only ever spoke to my husband and I thought she was rude. So I e day I made a big point of speaking to her and it was because she didn't remember my name. I thought it was funny, and she will too and if she doesn't, I suspect that she will never speak to you again 😂
If you go on OP's posts, you can filter them and see her updates. Very simple. Just a little tip to save you looking stupid with unnecessary ideas when it's been sorted
TopBlogger · 18/07/2021 19:25

@thisisnotmyllama

My mum had quite a developed friendship over several years with a lady whom she only ever knew as ‘The Woman I Talk To’. We used to laugh and wonder if she referred to my mum as the same thing.

Can’t your DH get chatting to the neighbour’s DH in a blokey way about their wives? Grin NeighbourH is bound to mention his DW’s name, at which point your DH suddenly remembers something he has to do, or ‘gets a phone call’ and runs indoors to tell you before he forgets it, so that you can write it down?

SARAH - her name is SARAH
Sandinmyknickers · 18/07/2021 20:04

I have a neighbour called Pam and the other neighbour's kid often calls me Pam too (not my name)...

AGirlCalledJohnny · 18/07/2021 20:05

@Glovesick

Weave a story in about a friend who had 4 people with the same name in her class at school. Then ask if she had anyone with the same name in her class. Hopefully she will say " yes, there was another Pam"
What if she replies, “no it’s actually a very unusual name”. Then nothing.

I’d be listing the house.

Best 3 quid you ever spent OP. I was going to say if that failed definitely have a quick word with the postie and add “while we’re about it, do you mind me asking yours too?”.

Do you accept your next challenge? 😂

Friendlyfired · 18/07/2021 23:40

I'm so invested in this thread. So glad you know now op x

ohthatbloodycat · 18/07/2021 23:47

It's definitely too late to ask her. Time to channel your inner Sherlock Holmes, OP!

UrgentExit · 19/07/2021 11:48

@ohthatbloodycat

It's definitely too late to ask her. Time to channel your inner Sherlock Holmes, OP!
She already did, the name's Sarah.
Ericaceae · 19/07/2021 12:17

Good thread, OP. We've lived here for two years, and two weeks ago my elderly neighbour called me [long version of my name that's only on the register and my passport]. I think she's got her daughter to look me up on the electoral register, which is quite sweet. So I need to untangle the opposite problem and gently let her know I'm [short version of my name] Smile

Lara53 · 19/07/2021 12:56

Ask her. Blame it on baby brain. I do this and my teens are 14 and 18 now 😂

hahahayoumustbejoking · 06/08/2021 19:22

Glad to hear you got it resolved Grin

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