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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How do I find out her name?

345 replies

sillysituation · 16/07/2021 10:59

In the grand scheme of life this isn't a major problem. But it's a little embarrassing.

We moved house in April last year so have been here a little over a year. The next door neighbour introduced herself in the first few weeks and was so lovely and friendly. She obviously would have told me her name at that point. Anyway, I've forgotten it 🙈

It's more and more awkward with each conversation. We see each other a lot and chat over the garden fence. I had a baby earlier this year and she was so interested in my pregnancy asking for updates on baby's arrival etc, and coos over baby every time I'm outside with her. Basically, I feel as though I have developed quite a lovely friendship with my neighbour over the past year or so. But I have no clue what her name is 😂

And now it feels like it's gone too far for me to ask, if that makes sense? If someone you'd been chatting to for the best part of a year suddenly said "sorry, what's your name again?" you'd be pretty offended right?

My question is ... how the hell do I find out her name without offending her?!

OP posts:

BrownEyedGirl80 · 16/07/2021 11:15

Her

Original poster

sillysituation · 16/07/2021 11:15

I like the Christmas card idea ... maybe give that a go. Only 5 months to wait to find out her name

OP posts:

Mumoftwoinprimary · 16/07/2021 11:15

We had this problem. Lived next door to “Mrs Next Door” very happily for two years. Hugs on leaving and everything!

LittleTiger007 · 16/07/2021 11:16

I hate it when this happens as I never remember names. I was the same with my neighbours when I moved in… for months I was exactly the same! It took until Christmas when I waited to receive cards, watched who delivered them where possible etc and then I sent cards to those whose names I couldn’t remember simply saying Happy Christmas from Little Tiger, DH and tiger Cubs at number 0 and then waited on replies… I then made a note of as many names as I received replies from! It took so long and I was cross with myself but it’s so hard when you’re new and you hear a name maybe once! 🤦‍♀️😂

petitdonkey · 16/07/2021 11:16

Asking the postman is a great idea - just actually explain what you've said here. Didn't she give you a card when the baby was born?

Original poster

sillysituation · 16/07/2021 11:17

@Mumoftwoinprimary

We had this problem. Lived next door to “Mrs Next Door” very happily for two years. Hugs on leaving and everything!

Haha glad it's not just me! We've had laughter and even tears over the garden fence at some points (from both of us) ... still don't know her name 😂

OP posts:

isthisouting · 16/07/2021 11:17

Following so I can hear how you do eventually find this out. Good suggestions so far. We are not long in our new area and the couple we know best on our street have lived here for yonks so we would ask them things like this. Can you ask another neighbour? You don't have to know their name to do so 😂

FastFood · 16/07/2021 11:18

@Lockheart

Give her your phone number. When she texts / calls, pretend you don't know who it is and ask.

Yes or ask her phone number, and a couple of weeks later, send her a text saying "Hiya I have that number but not sure whose it is?" and then when she replied just say "oh of course it's you, so sorry I wrote it down in my contact but forgot to add your name"

Yellowcrockpot · 16/07/2021 11:19

Another vote for ask the postman!

allofthecheese · 16/07/2021 11:19

I'd ask her to type her number into my phone as 'add contact' so she'd have to include her name

Ponoka7 · 16/07/2021 11:19

"It's also made worse by the fact that she remembers my name as she often addresses me by it when I'm outside"

That's how you remember names, you say their name a few times and then your brain links the name to the face.

Could you invite over a relative or friend and you go out as they are due. So they knock at hers and ask if you've seen them. Then they ask their name? You turn back up as they are still speaking. A lot of effort, but it plays like a comedy sketch. Or use your DH, as soon as he sees her, he asks something such as what bin is it next.

Clancey · 16/07/2021 11:19

Just call her by any name then immediately apologize for getting her name wrong, & pray that you did. She will then hopefully tell you what it is.

Original poster

sillysituation · 16/07/2021 11:19

@petitdonkey

Asking the postman is a great idea - just actually explain what you've said here. Didn't she give you a card when the baby was born?

No she didn't but to be fair we kept it pretty low key and basically hibernated in the house for the first 4-6 weeks as I was horribly unwell after her birth. So the first she knew of me having the baby was when I appeared outside with baby and my bump was gone! I mean she obviously knew when I was roughly due. But I went off the radar a little so it wouldn't have been obvious she'd arrived, if that makes sense

OP posts:

Terhou · 16/07/2021 11:19

Just check the electoral register.

LittleTiger007 · 16/07/2021 11:19

Asking the postman is a good idea

DameFanny · 16/07/2021 11:20

'I'm so sorry, I've completely blanked on your name. I know you like X, your favourite K-pop is y and you're allergic to watermelon but I've no idea what your name is - I'm so sorry, it's not you it's me'?

Original poster

sillysituation · 16/07/2021 11:20

@Yellowcrockpot

Another vote for ask the postman!

Our postman is actually lovely I chat to him all the time too - this is a good shout!

OP posts:

FluffyPJs · 16/07/2021 11:21

Just brazen it out - say to the baby 'say hello to..... oh my minds gone completely blank! What's your name again?' And laugh it off!

Original poster

sillysituation · 16/07/2021 11:22

@DameFanny

Aw I like this!

OP posts:

Original poster

sillysituation · 16/07/2021 11:23

@FluffyPJs

Just brazen it out - say to the baby 'say hello to..... oh my minds gone completely blank! What's your name again?' And laugh it off!

Haha baby has actually stated to smile away at everyone including her... so this crossed my mind. As I often say "aw are you smiling? That's lovely". But what I want to actually say is"are you smiling at (neighbours name) - how lovely!" 🙈

OP posts:

brittleheadgirl · 16/07/2021 11:25

I had this with another mum I met on the school run! We'd literally been for coffee, had numerous trips to the park etc and I still couldn't remember her name.

She invited me round for lunch and I'm ashamed to say I rifled through some post on the side while she was in the loo

runwithme · 16/07/2021 11:26

Or give her your phone and ask her to put her number in. Or, give her your number and say, "now you've got mine just drop me a text with your number" and hopefully she will add her name.

tillytoodles1 · 16/07/2021 11:28

I had the same problem only it was my name she didn't know. It became quite obvious after a while, and made me smile to myself. I sent them a Christmas card, but only after they'd sent me one from all at no 5. I put our names on it and I could almost hear her sighs of relief when she opened it.

Original poster

sillysituation · 16/07/2021 11:29

She invited me round for lunch and I'm ashamed to say I rifled through some post on the side while she was in the loo

😂

OP posts:

Earwigworries · 16/07/2021 11:30

Just tell her honestly and ask !

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