How do I find out her name?

[sillysituation]

In the grand scheme of life this isn't a major problem. But it's a little embarrassing.

We moved house in April last year so have been here a little over a year. The next door neighbour introduced herself in the first few weeks and was so lovely and friendly. She obviously would have told me her name at that point. Anyway, I've forgotten it 🙈

It's more and more awkward with each conversation. We see each other a lot and chat over the garden fence. I had a baby earlier this year and she was so interested in my pregnancy asking for updates on baby's arrival etc, and coos over baby every time I'm outside with her. Basically, I feel as though I have developed quite a lovely friendship with my neighbour over the past year or so. But I have no clue what her name is 😂

And now it feels like it's gone too far for me to ask, if that makes sense? If someone you'd been chatting to for the best part of a year suddenly said "sorry, what's your name again?" you'd be pretty offended right?

My question is ... how the hell do I find out her name without offending her?!

Ask the postman

Invite a friend round and ask them to introduce themselves to the neighbour over the garden fence.

I made a friend in 6th form like this. She was lovely but not in my classes and I had no clue what her name was, kept trying to sneak a peek at her text books when she wasn't looking.

I would say , im so crap with remembering names i call people ive known for years the wrong name sometimes and then ask her whats yours again, just put it on you then so she wouldnt feel arkward. Although if it was me id rather somebody say something when they first realise they dont know my name
Funny creatures we are

@runwithme

Or give her your phone and ask her to put her number in. Or, give her your number and say, "now you've got mine just drop me a text with your number" and hopefully she will add her name.

This is also a good idea. It's strange but we haven't really needed to swap numbers as we see each other regularly over the garden fence and have basically conducted all of our conversations this way. Is that odd?! I feel like I'm odd now ...

Would it not look weird that I now wanted her number after a year of managing to get along without it? I'm totally overthinking this aren't I 🙈😂

@FluffyPJs

Just brazen it out - say to the baby 'say hello to..... oh my minds gone completely blank! What's your name again?' And laugh it off!

My parents happily called their neighbour Sue for a decade. She eventually told them her name was Jane. They started to call her Sue-Jane. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Anyway, if your baby is being all cute and reaching for her, maybe you could say "Say hello to aunty...oh, you don't mind her calling you..?" and hope she fills the rest in with "Aunty Pam" 🤞🏻

Other than that, you could try the electoral role unless she's opted out of the "open" version

And you know now, you're always going to think of her as Pam anyway. 🤭

@brittleheadgirl

I had this with another mum I met on the school run! We'd literally been for coffee, had numerous trips to the park etc and I still couldn't remember her name.

She invited me round for lunch and I'm ashamed to say I rifled through some post on the side while she was in the loo

Omg! You brazen hussy. That is hilarious, but soooo what my husband would do I never forget names...but I'm terrible with faces, so if I see a neighbour away from their house, I never recognise them Embarrassing in the supermarket...

This happened to me and I've lived here for 5 years only found out her name last week!

I knew her husbands name and her dogs name but had no idea about hers

I was also too embarrassed to ask as I felt it something I should have know which to be fair it was

Anyway I asked a different neighbour and they told me it I wish I had asked sooner!

So I know exactly how you are feeling

There was someone at nursery who always seemed lovely. Wed always stop and have a chat. Our first DC were a similar age. Then our second DC were a similar age and became best friends. When they started school (after wed been chatting for 5 years, I invited her for coffee after drop off. That's when I asked her name. We're still friends!

@PumpkinKlNG

You could ask how it’s spelt but would be awkward if it was something like Pam 😂

Oh god, I did that with a work contact (one I only see periodically at events and have never never needed to email) - it turned out his name was Tom! He gave me a very strange look as he spelled out T-O-M...

I'd have to say - "this is really awkward but I didnt catch your name when we started talking and then I felt weird to ask and now it's just got ridiculous. Haha silly me"

If she's offended then she's twat and nothing is lost

@allofthecheese

I'd ask her to type her number into my phone as 'add contact' so she'd have to include her name

Yeah that! Next time she mentions minding the baby, just say you'd need her number and would she mind popping it into your phone? Then open new contacts, hand your phone over and job done!

Or just ask. It'll be awkward for about a minute, then you'll be so relieved and can stop stressing about it and just carry on building a nice friendship.

Actually, I lie, because there was one nursery parent's name DH remembered... because it was the same as DD's!
He literally only ever knew that one woman's name.

It's unfortunate she remembers your name. I had a similar situation when I started uni, I instantly became best mates with someone but forgot their name. Took until the end of the first term to pluck up the courage to tell them because I wanted to send give them a Christmas card. They were massively relieved because they didn't know my name either!

Honestly, if she's a nice person like you say she won't mind.

I second getting her number and adding her on WhatsApp - hopefully she uses it, and that tends to show peoples' names.

This is so exactly something that would happen to me

We had this years ago
We knew a bloke called Stan
Years later my grandad said 'you know stan?his names Matthew!'
9 bloody years we'd called him stan!
Lovely bloke...

Electoral register or just be honest. When you see someone regularly in a situation where knowing their name isn't required, this can easily happen. If she is nice, why would she be offended?

I know it feels awful but the pain would soon be over! I am a teacher and get teens and young adults randomly asking me if I remember them from years back. I just say, 'of course but remind me of your name again'. (Sometimes the 'of course' is a lie but I hope they feel better for it!)

I’d vote for asking the postman too!

Op look up her address on the land registry and get the title register - it'll give you the name of the owner. Spend £3, job done just hope she doesn't rent or you'll get a confused look when you call her by her landlord/landlady's name

Have an "at home", send formal invites and request written RSVPs!

Next time you have a friend round, if she's in the garden you could introduce them but only do half the introducing, if you see what I mean? You just say 'this is my friend Simon', and then pause, and hopefully she will say 'Hi Simon, I'm Pam!' (it's definitely going to be Pam now)

@QuimReaper

I second getting her number and adding her on WhatsApp - hopefully she uses it, and that tends to show peoples' names.

This is so exactly something that would happen to me

WhatsApp shows the name I save the number under in my phone.

Ask to use the loo at hers as yours is broken or go round for a coffe and look at the names on the post on the mat/sideboard.

Imagine if she's called Pam now 😂

I will definitely update on here when I have the name! (Can you imagine if she's on here reading this... 🙈🙈)

Just tell her the truth!