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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are "barely there" dresses acceptable in high profile public?

265 replies

Nothingyet · 16/07/2021 07:49

Are "barely there" dresses acceptable? I saw this this in the Mail this morning, and there were the usual comments: "and they wonder why men sexualize them..." etc.
I wondered if there were any views? www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9792613/Cannes-Film-Festival-2021-Kimberley-Garner-flashes-bottom-Georgina-Rodriguez.html#comments

OP posts:
smokeball · 16/07/2021 22:10

@tableflowerss

But as humans we judge. Everyone judges and makes assumptions based on all sorts of thing. How you dress can say a lot about a person so if you dress a certain way, then it’s likely people will perceive you in a certain wayWhether that’s a true reflection of who you are or indicative of the message you may want to portray, people will judge. So people can’t complain if they dress a certain way and people form opinions.
different people will judge differently - there is not one immutable truth here and how each person judges says more about them, the person judging, than about the person being judged. I doubt very much the way I would judge is going to the same as the way you would judge.

Blossomtoes · 16/07/2021 22:31

FFS, no we shouldn't be having a conversation about the messages clothes send. If we're talking about sexual assault we should ONLY able having a conversation about male entitlement and power relations that leads them to sexually assault and rape women

This thread is entirely about what clothes say about us. It’s not about sexual assault or rape.

Grimacingfrog · 16/07/2021 22:59

@Blossomtoes

FFS, no we shouldn't be having a conversation about the messages clothes send. If we're talking about sexual assault we should ONLY able having a conversation about male entitlement and power relations that leads them to sexually assault and rape women

This thread is entirely about what clothes say about us. It’s not about sexual assault or rape.

Well you haven't read the whole thread then.
TableFlowerss · 17/07/2021 09:51

[quote smokeball]@tableflowerss

But as humans we judge. Everyone judges and makes assumptions based on all sorts of thing. How you dress can say a lot about a person so if you dress a certain way, then it’s likely people will perceive you in a certain wayWhether that’s a true reflection of who you are or indicative of the message you may want to portray, people will judge. So people can’t complain if they dress a certain way and people form opinions.
different people will judge differently - there is not one immutable truth here and how each person judges says more about them, the person judging, than about the person being judged. I doubt very much the way I would judge is going to the same as the way you would judge.[/quote]
But the onus isn’t on the person judging, everyone judges differently. It’s not them that is going to suffer the ‘consequences’. The person judging is indifferent.

What you have to bare in mind however is that some will judge. So if you turn up for a job interview in shorts/T-shirt and flip flops there’s a high probability that you won’t get the job because they’ll assume you’re not taking the time seriously.

Now that’s a reasonable judgement is it not? Some would argue it’s not, as what difference does clothing make to how well someone could do a job?! That’s a fair point.

So you see, it’s not the interviewer that will suffer the consequences, even though he’s the one judging. It’s the person wearing the clothes.

Blossomtoes · 17/07/2021 09:53

Well you haven't read the whole thread then

I certainly have - half the posts on it are mine!

Grimacingfrog · 17/07/2021 11:47

@Blossomtoes

Well you haven't read the whole thread then

I certainly have - half the posts on it are mine!

Well I don't know what to say to you then. Perhaps you struggle with reading comprehension.

If you think that by people saying that women are sending a message, that juries may be affected and bringing Harvey Weinstein into it is nothing to do with sexual assault and how people blame the victims, there's no point in me wasting my time responding to your posts.

Have a nice day Smile.

Grellbunt · 17/07/2021 12:12

FFS

I don't like it and it's shite but of course clothes send out messages. As does flashing my arse in public.

It's one thing how we would like the world to be, quite another how it really is.

zukiecat · 17/07/2021 13:13

The lilac dress is beautiful, or would be without the two splits and without such a low cut neckline.

I've never heard of the actress though.

TableFlowerss · 17/07/2021 13:29

@Blossomtoes

FFS, no we shouldn't be having a conversation about the messages clothes send. If we're talking about sexual assault we should ONLY able having a conversation about male entitlement and power relations that leads them to sexually assault and rape women

This thread is entirely about what clothes say about us. It’s not about sexual assault or rape.

Absolutely agree. Always some that try to turn it in to something it’s not!
Nightlystroll · 17/07/2021 13:45

These women want to get publicity for a chance to be successful. Putting body parts on display increases the likelihood of having their pictures being reported on. The more titillating flesh they display, the greater probability their picture will be published. They've got their photos in national newspapers. Job done.

They put themselves out there to be photographed and talked about. If some of the commentary is negative, that's the price if their choice.

Piffle11 · 17/07/2021 17:06

Not fussed on the dresses, ‘cos I prefer to be more covered up. Personal choice. BUT … I remember Kimberley Garner from MIC, and always thought she came across very well: rather a sweet person. Wearing revealing clothes is surely for one reason only - to be photographed. I’m not a prude and I think people should be able to wear what they want (provided it’s not obscene or insulting): I think the worst - in my opinion - was Kendall Jenner in a La Perla dress: beautiful woman, fab body, but just … too much. For me. But wouldn’t slag her off for her choice.

RiverSkater · 17/07/2021 17:35

She wants people to admire her body. It's not an open invite for men to shag her.

If I see a man wearing his jeans round his arse showing me his coin slot I don't assume he wants me to jump him for sex.

Those that think it is have a problem. And it's usually men. Often women too. Confused

SoMuchForSummerLove · 17/07/2021 21:03

Yes, it's not the looking that's the problem as such. It's that for some men how women look seems to be twisted into an invitation to shag her regardless of whether she's interested or not.

Or at least that seems to be an acceptable claim to make in order to get away with sexual crimes.

HalzTangz · 17/07/2021 21:04

Don't see the issue. They are showing less flesh than men who think it's ok to walk round topless

Blossomtoes · 17/07/2021 21:06

@HalzTangz

Don't see the issue. They are showing less flesh than men who think it's ok to walk round topless
The men at the event where these pictures were taken were all in black tie. 🤷‍♀️
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