To ask if you 100% believe your partner has never cheated?

[zaraaraz]

I think cheating is very common. I was with someone I loved, would have done anything for and he left me and was declaring his love for someone else the next day. Obviously he was seeing her behind my back. My boyfriend before him was going through a divorce because his wife had cheated.

My sister met her husband when they were both with other people. My fathers first wife cheated on him.

I’ve seen a particular colleague cheat twice on his girlfriend.

It’s just very common in my opinion. I’m currently single but whosever I date next then I wouldn’t be shocked if I found out if they were a cheater.

100% sure yes.

Honestly yes, I'd stake my life on the fact he's never cheated. And I'm as sure as I can be that he never would.

I was cheated on by my ex and that came as a shock but actually looking back maybe not really a total shock if you see what I mean? I had no reason to think he was cheating or that he was anything other than happy with us, if you'd have asked me at the time I'd have said he just wasn't like that, but really when it all came out it wasn't that jaw dropping somehow.

After that I never trusted anyone, I'd have always been more surprised by someone who didn't cheat. I was hugely cynical but when I met DH I just knew in my bones I could trust him, I don't know how to explain it in a way that doesn't make me sound naive.

I'm surer of him than I am of me really, I have a higher sex drive, am quite needy of male validation at times as much as I hate that about myself, and I could totally see how easy it would be to go down that path. I wouldn't risk it though, I couldn't hurt him and I couldn't blow my dd's little world apart like that.

@Kitten189

Tell the wife

I was so tempted earlier, but I just can't bring myself to hurt her. I know it's him who's causing the sadness, but I don't want to be the responsibility of being the messenger.

I'm 100% certain he never has so far. I can't imagine it because he's exceptionally grumpy and anti-social.

He is literally the only human being I have ever fully trusted, and if he ever did cheat on me I don't think I'd ever be able to trust anyone, ever again.

@TragicKingdom

I 100% believe my husband has never cheated. He's too kind and honest and has too much integrity.

I wish I had an ounce of that as I cheated on him.

Can I be really nosey and asked why you did it and does he know? Please don't answer if you don't want to.

From my experience, personally and in my friendship groups, late 40s / early 50s seem to be when people have cheated the most (or been caught).

@isthismylifenow

From my experience, personally and in my friendship groups, late 40s / early 50s seem to be when people have cheated the most (or been caught).

The Yougov research covered this too!

There does seem to be a bit of an increase.

For example (this is for all relationships):
Kissing: 18-24 15% 40-59 24%
Sex: 8% versus 19%
Used a sex worker 0% versus 3%

But it's hard to compare because the questions are all whether a person has ever done any of those things, even once. Older people have had more time.

Also Northerners seem more likely to stray, Welsh and Midlanders the least.

It's a

100% certain my DH has never cheated. He wouldn't be able to cope with two women!

I'm absolutely certain my husband has never cheated in the 30 years I've known him. He's very honest and absolutely incapable of telling a lie. Even if he tries to tell a little fib, say to cover up a nice surprise that he is planning,his cheeks starts twitching and he just looks really uncomfortable.

I havent cheated and I'm as sure as anyone can be that dh hasn't. He has crippling social anxiety which nearly stopped us getting together in the first place.

We are also pretty equal and compatible - we make each other happy.

I used to be 100% sure. Until he did it and proved me wrong!

I would have put my whole life on my partner not cheating on me but unfortunately he did. It hurt more because I didn’t think he was capable of it. Putting 100% trust into someone was foolish of me. Something I will never do again.

I think it is very naive to be 100% certain your partner wouldn't cheat. You can never be certain.

Most of the reasons people have for cheating are pathetic, there is never any excuse but I think a pp git the nail on the head, quite often it is the people who are absolutely certain they wouldn't who do.

The person I cheated with no one would ever suspect. Their best friend thinks they are naive and innocent and would never dream of it. It shocked me at how little one of their closest people knew them and that gives me very little faith in people going forward. Who can you actually trust.

My reasons for cheating are pathetic, standard thing of lack of attention at home, head turned, mid life crisis, felt validated by someone else, gave me confidence when I had low self esteem. There is never a good reason though is there.

I would bet my house that my husband hasn’t cheated. He would be very unlikely to do so in the future.

It’s sad so many women want to tar every man with the same brush.

@OnlyTheLangOfTheTitberg

Statistically it’s almost certain that a proportion of the “100% sure, he’d never cheat” women posting here have been cheated on.

Yep.

I'm pretty astonished at the people on here who have trooped on here to parrot that they are "100% certain" they can know exactly what will happen in the future. You simply cannot be 100% certain you know what will happen in the future. It's not possible.

Frankly even if I thought my DP or DH was very unlikely to cheat (and I happen to think my current DP is highly unlikely to cheat) there's no way I would make that sort of a statement. It's asking for trouble.

There is something infinitely healthier about the posts that say they can’t be 100% certain, but feel confident enough because they’ve put their trust in their life partner - than the posts saying they’re absolutely cast-iron certain that their DH/partner would never cheat…

I am confident he hasn't. I trust him and he's not shied away from unpalatable truths before so I would like to think he would have the integrity to tell me. Even if it is one of my deal breakers.

@LimeRedBanana

There is something infinitely healthier about the posts that say they can’t be 100% certain, but feel confident enough because they’ve put their trust in their life partner - than the posts saying they’re absolutely cast-iron certain that their DH/partner would never cheat…

Quite. There's something a bit cult-like about the 100 percenters.

Admitting to inability to see the future, human frailty and uncertainty is just human. You don't make yourselves stronger or more resilient by pretending you can see the future.

No one is perfect and no one will hold it against you if you say you are only 87% certain. If you love and trust your partner that should be enough. You don't have to convince a bunch of randoms on the internet that your Nigel won't ever have his head turned.

Exactly right @thepeopleversuswork.

I'd bet my children's lives that he hasn't cheated...

However that's not to say he never will. I might change, he might change . Nothing in life is fixed.

I don’t know. I met some of his colleagues a few year’s ago and one young woman was very rude to me for no reason at all, and fawning over him. I asked him about it and apparently lots of the women at work were really mean to her and and she was in an controlling relationship . Then there was a Christmas do a not long after that he got back from very late. He swore afterwards never to go on a work do again and never to drink again, with visible shuddering at the memory. He has drank since. But has never been on a night out with work since 🤷‍♀️. 70% sure nothing happened…probably.

this is one of these Lose/Lose threads..

no matter your answer.. you just can't Win 🤣

The Christmas parties were eye opening for me in my 20's. I was single and wasn't interested in sexing where I work, the staff all stayed at a hotel there was a shag fest of married couples.
One lady was wild and so different throughout the year yet every Christmas party she'd sleep with a different guy, another slept with the same guy every year but only at Christmas.

I genuinely believe my partner wouldn't as he's just not that type of person, but I thought that of my ex husband too and he ended up cheating! A lot of his friends do though. One of them slept with a girl on his stag and in the past two weeks he's slept with 2 girls on a night out. His wife is 7 months pregnant! It's absolutely awful.

100% sure becuase he hasn't left the house alone for the past 2 years.