AIBU to feel guilty about this

[Yftg8]

I changed jobs a few months back. I'm now moving departments within the same job. All good so far. However because of a disability I have my other two colleagues will have to move out of their office into a shared part of the main office. This is a decision made from above in order to support me in my role. But I feel guilty as they've both been there longer. One of them is ok with it but the other colleague has not spoken to me since the decision was made. I'm a real worrier anyway but I feel guilty. Don't want to go into too many details and have name changed.

@Dancingsmile

I feel its not about you but what an office represents. Being in an office shows a difference , a level of seniority. The manager , boss is usually represented on programmes as having their own office. She may have shared an office but they were in it separate from the others in main office. This is pathetic but it can create a false importance . When it's taken away it can feel like a demotion. Not only does she get demoted back to main office you get promoted to not sharing an office but having it to yourself. Her nose has been put out of joint. It is ridiculous but I remember years ago when I worked in a bank they wanted to take manager and deputy manager signs off parking spaces. The outrage from them was ridiculous. Proper toys out being thrown out the cot. This is not you it's about her perception of what working in the main office represents. She probably feels embarrassed emptying her office and setting up in a less worthy place.

OP did mentioned earlier that it was ‘just part of the layout’ and nothing to do with seniority… I don’t think complaining about being thrown out of something that denotes rank is unfair. The manager/deputy manager isn’t unfair it can take ages to look for a parking space and if that’s a perk of the job it’s not childish behaviour to be upset about it being taken away.

How did I play Monday?

@Yftg8

Still not heard from the colleague who has complained but my "self pity" is turning into anger now. I feel quite upset.

Your colleague is entitled to raise a matter about their working environment or indeed a change to it. They are entitled to feel disgruntled, office workers can get very attached to their workspace and many don’t like moving.

But sometimes people have to move office space. You should have kept out of it and let management deal with it. Your colleague may not be fully up to speed on employer responsibilities a round reasonable adjustments and management just needed to explain it to them. Moving other people to accommodate an employee with disabilities is definitely a reasonable adjustment and it is good that your employer made it. You needed to let them follow through and silence any moaners about it, you didn’t need to apologies or contact people or be involved in this at all.

Unfortunately I think you have muddied the waters be saying it doesn’t matter now. You either needed it or you didn’t, saying it doesn’t matter now makes it look like it was a preference rather than a necessity. Hopefully you and your management can work out a way to recover that situation.

The situation was getting toxic April so I felt backed into a corner.

OP

• you have a disability which has deteriorated
• you are legally entitled to reasonable adjustments
• you require your own office with a door you can shut and carpet, this will enable you to do your job to the best of your ability
• the move to your own office has, quite rightly, been approved by senior managers with HR involvement.

Please go into work on Monday, contact HR and say thank you I will move into the office. Arrange a suitable date - Friday afternoons are usually a good time so you start on a Monday in your new office.

WRT your colleagues, it is not your responsibility to tell them or enter in to discussions about the move unless it is the practicalities e.g you may have to clear your current desk. Do not get pulled into any further discussions about the move.

On Monday go in and say Good morning to your colleagues and act as you normally would. In my experience once employees have had time to vent and reflect over the weekend they normally are fine on a Monday.

Do not try to talk with them about the move, unless it is to discuss practicalities of the move. If they try to engage with you clearly state - I am disabled and this move is a legal requirement which has been approved by senior management. If you have an issue please talk to HR.

If they really push, you could state I had hoped you would understand that I need an office to work in. If you can find a solution/reasonable adjustment that allows me to work effectively and you retain your office then I am happy for you, me and HR to discuss it. If they don’t drop it then report to HR.

Ldh

Sorry posted too soon. I just know that I'll have been talked about over the weekend by the colleague who is blanking me. She has a little group of friends which will have loved this. I normally get in early and get the kettle on and all that. Just not sure I can go in as normal. I guess I'll just have to get my big girl pants on and suck it up.

Manager actually messaged me earlier and apologised that it'd been poorly handled.

@Yftg8

Manager actually messaged me earlier and apologised that it'd been poorly handled.

it most certainly has... what are they going to do about that ?

I hope you feel slightly better with this small acknowledgement .. it still doesn't change the issue of your immediate work needs of course.. but its a start 🌸

Im sorry to hear that.. they really have messed up what should have been a vast improvement in work conditions for you ...

are you in a union, is there a Rep for your place of employment.. might be worth googling etc 🌸

Yeah in a union but no idea about reps or stuff. I just don't know how to play it. Any advice? I'm quite bubbly you see so any change will be noticed.

[Quote removed by MNHQ - Name change fail]

I would try calling/emailing them today ... or first thing tomorrow and explain exactly what you've told us on here ...

They will act/advise in your best interests and quickly...

you have been left in an very uncomfortable position. 🌸

what union do you pay your scripts too ?

Hope today went ok

Still not good

Today was asked if I actually need the space or whether i just don't want to have to move .

By whom?

You need to tell the truth

“I’ve been offered the move to help with the hearing loss, I’m grateful for this and think it will help immensely, but I’m being blanked and talked about by someone who is being asked to move to accommodate me and I don’t want to rock any boats”

Asked by one of the inconvenienced colleagues. I told her why.

How did that conversation go? Was this the one who’s blanking you?

Yeah. Seems to be talking to me now. But this was in a meeting to iron out the problems so to speak

@Yftg8

When you told her why, what did she say ?

Do you think she's trying to help ? Or to gather info for disgruntled colleague ?

I'm hoping that it's an attempt to help resolve things amicably.........(maybe someone else has spoken to disgruntled colleague e.g HR or manager and said that there are reasons behind the move that they are unaware of etc)

She just said right, ok.

this is awful.. truly awful..

You OP have done nothing wrong .. and have nothing to apologise for..

If you feel forced to leave ... I would take them for Constructive Dismissal my lovely.. honesty this is shocking 🌸

It is isn't it . I genuinely don't know where to go from here. New ish job so don't want to be seen as a trouble maker. But to ask that question, questioning the credibility of my disability. Friend says I should speak to this colleague and sort it out but if she says that yo my face what is she saying behind my back