To let my dog in my garden?

[salviapages]

Really can't figure this one out. My dog is a rescue and a bit jumpy. She loves to hang in the garden and it's enclosed so in nice weather we just keep the back door open and she goes out and sunbathes. We live in a suburban area so have gardens backing onto all sides of our fence.

The neighbour behind us is often in her garden talking on the phone or to her husband, when she comes out and starts talking it makes my dog jump and she barks a few times. Or if there are other sudden noises she'll bark too.

But whenever she barks my partner or I go out immediately to stop her because we want to be respectful of neighbours, and if she's too worked up we just bring her inside.

But the neighbour behind us screeches at our dog. She tells 'shut up!!' all the time, a few times has yelled that 'someone needs to throttle that dog'

I know a barking dog can be annoying but it's usually only a few barks, and we go out immediately every time to quiet her, and sometimes will bring her inside. I don't see what else we could do aside from never let her out. And I just think it's so rude to screech 'shut up!!!' into a neighbour's garden. She's an adult human who can control herself, the dog isn't. And if you live in the suburbs you surely have to accept that you will have neighbours who sometimes make noise.

AIBU to keep letting my dog in the garden?

I mean, there's always a chance that the dog is actually barking more than you realise, because you're its owner and it doesn't bother you or you've tuned it out. But she sounds vile. If it's really as you say, I'd keep letting the dog out. A few occasional barks during daytime hours is not a big deal.

Yanbu been unreasonable. But she isn't unreasonable to be talking in her own garden.

I have dogs and it would piss me off if everytime I spoke a dog started barking next door.

Obviously, wanting to throttle to dog is unreasonable as well. Can the rescue give you some support on how to stop this?

Our youngest was similar and she only went out if we were out and the minute we heard the neighbour come out, we distracted the dog. If she went to jump at the fence or did start barking she got a firm no. If she stopped she got praise and treat. If she didn't, it was straight in the house. It stopped within a few weeks. Now in good weather we have the door open and she goes in an out without as she pleases and doesn't really bother when someone is in next doors garden.

Honestly how much is your ddog barking? We have 4 and my ndn say they never hear them. Unlike some of the other ddogs round here... Boils my blood tbh.
Maybe train your ddog to ignore ndn? Sit out with ddog. Every time ndn speaks give ddog a treat before any barking starts. Any barking take ddog inside... We successfully trained ddog 1 not to bark in the garden. Other ddogs followed suit...
If she is just a moany cow ignore me. And her!!

Another example of how dog owners cannot grasp how others feel about their dogs, as they are in love with them! Sorry - but that is how it is. Others do not necessarily feel as you do about the barking. Clearly your neighbour finds it a nuisance; whilst your perception is different.

Maybe talk with her about it and find out what she feels able to tolerate.

It would drive me up the wall I have to say!

Id respond with something like god I wish she'd shut up on her phone.

A dog barking a few times, during the day, is fine. Even numerous times during the day. Keep training the dog not to bark - you should make a chart of how often it is happening and at what severity, so you can see if your efforts make a difference.

To clarify - it's not every time the neighbour speaks just sometimes, and once she gets over the initial shock that makes her jump, she settles down and is fine with hearing her

Of course I don't think she's unreasonable to speak in her own garden, I just think the unreasonable thing is screeching into mine

Also @Mischance not sure what you mean here as I also find my dog barking annoying. I dont think it's fine because i love my dog, i dont think it's fine at all and it annoys me. We go out to stop her as we are training her to be more quiet.

Just wondering if I'm being unreasonable to keep letting her out even though she barks occasionally

Clearly your neighbour finds it a nuisance; whilst your perception is different.

I find listening to other people's phone conversations irritating so would it be ok if I started screeching that I want to throttle them? I've been in the position of having a very noisy dog next door without behaving like she is so I do understand how annoying it can be but I also understand that dogs are animals.

So you have a dog that barks at any noise made when in your garden. A neighbour talking on the phone is no different to sitting in there garden with friends. Does your dog jump at her fence and aggressively bark? My dog used to that to anyone on the left hand side of my fence. He was used to no noise from that side for many years. Then we got neighbours who used the garden alot and it led to him running up and down the fence aggressively barking. So that was nipped in the bud, he is never let out on his own. We sit with when in garden and I have the hose at the ready to spray him if he starts. It is scary for kids and others listening to an dog aggressively barking through a fence. So dont minimise it

Your dog is only doing it’s job, protecting the house and garden. But she is being unreasonable by shouting.
I think you need to have a word with her, and maybe if she were prepared to meet your dog and get to know it, a ‘hello rover’ shouted over the fence might quieten him down.

No more annoying than children screaming, all you can do is to try and keep them from continuous barking which you are doing but her screeching at it probably isn't helping. If people want total peace and quiet then they need to move somewhere that doesn't have neighbours.

I taught my dog that ‘shhh’ means be quiet. Sometimes I can anticipate that she is going to bark, maybe because the neighbours are having a BBQ, and doing the ‘shhh’ before she goes out stops her.
If she continues to bark she comes straight in.

Your neighbour should be able to go into her garden without your dog barking at her. YABU.

My neighbours dog barks if he hears something in the garden. Just once or twice.

Its a tad annoying. I'm sure my children playing in the pool are equally annoying.

Neither is as annoying as the repetitive thudding and grunting from the basketball enthusiasts a few doors up .

Some noise is part of living with neighbours.

Our neighbours have four or possibly five troubled rescue dogs. Sometimes when we first moved in they would hear us in the garden and all begins barking and baying together, often throwing themselves against the (high, very secure!) wooden fence and scrabbling to get through. This would go on for fifteen minutes to half an hour sometimes. We’ve never complained. It’s improved as the dogs have got used to our voices, which is what I’d hoped. I do occasionally mutter ‘oh shut up’ when they really kick off, and I’ve good called good natured ‘quiet down, it’s alright’ type remarks through the fence a few times, but I would never shout aggressively. It’s really counter productive as it would frighten the dog and make it more likely to meet aggression with aggression. I wonder if you could try introducing your neighbours to the dog and explain that you want to desensitise her so she’ll bark less at the sound of your voices? I know they’ve been massive dicks about this but in the interests of improving the situation it might be worth being as conciliatory as possible. Just an idea, might not work, but possibly worth a shot?

It's not particularly aggressive and she doesn't do it up their fence, she just barks a bit while continuing to sunbathe. The thing is that after a few barks she will stop, but when the neigjvoir screams shut up, she barks back, so the neigjbour shouts again...and it's like she makes it worse by starting an argument with a dog

I've thought about going to speak to her but just the fact that she screeched so rudely makes me think she wouldn't be receptive to it

I don’t think YABU or YANBU. We have a dog who luckily isn’t a barker but there’s 3 houses on our street who have barkers (out of almost every house as nearly everyone has at least one dog) and it is really annoying. Especially the chihuahua 3 doors down as that yappy sound is horrible. If it’s not very frequent and it really is just a few barks and you’re doing your best to stop it then YANBU but it would be annoying to not even be able to speak on your own garden without being barked at. She is being unreasonable for yelling at your dog though. The house with the chihuahua let’s their dogs out at 11pm or later and 7am every day including weekends and doesn’t let them in until the bark which is so selfish 😡. Next door also lets their dogs out while they’re in virtual meetings and just leaves them to bark which is also really annoying.

YANBU to let your dog in your garden, as long as you stop it from barking as soon as it starts.

My neighbours have a dog. It's some sort of hunting guard dog. If it's in the garden when I go in my garden it barks, every time. And makes me jump, every time. It then continues to bark until they can be bothered to half heartedly tell it to stop.

This morning I've been digging the planter that is up against the fence between me and the neighbours. It immediately rushed over and started barking and growling. Eventually they got it to stop.

Drives me mad.

YANBU I bet you don’t shout at her to shut up when she’s on the phone in her garden. Letting the dog bark endlessly, or v late at night, is different obviously but if that’s not happening then she needs to get over it. If she want Ma to live somewhere with close neighbours then she has to accept that sometimes there will be noise.

The world contains noise. Some of it's annoying but that's life

A few barks but how many times a day? One explanation is that your neighbour is being unreasonable, another is that all the barking is adding up (I'd be a bit t-eed off if next door's dog barked every time I spoke or made a noise in my own garden.

YANBU to think that your dog should be allowed into your garden but there are limits on how often or long it should be out there barking.

Your dog is only doing it’s job, protecting the house and garden.

No, that would be barking when a stranger enters the OP’s garden. The dog is being a nuisance and the OP needs to train it not to bark at people in other gardens. Which may involve not letting the dog out unsupervised on the short term.

Your dog often barks when your neighbour goes out into her garden? Yep, that would annoy me too - a barking dog is far louder than someone talking. I wouldn't 'screech' at it and I'd tolerate the odd bark (which is only to be expected if you live beside others), but I might end up losing my rag if the barking was incessant or happened the vast majority of times I went out to my garden - which it very well may be as many dog owners seem to be deaf to their own dog's bark (or at least have a much higher tolerance level for it than their neighbours.

What training is your dog undergoing currently to help stop the barking?

I agree you need to train your dog not to bark unnecessarily and be honest with yourself about how much barking there is.
But IMO if your dog barks then your neighbour yells in response in the dogs mind shes answering and encouraging more barking. She needs to stop yelling.
Only let your dog out when you can be with him. When he barks hold up your hand and say Quiet. When he stops barking immediately give a treat praise and fuss. Every time.
Don't just leave him out to annoy the neighbours.

I think you are pretty unreasonable tbh.
And I am a dog owner.

The house that backs onto mine has a dog like yours, fortunately it’s rarely out but if it is, the second anyone in my garden dates to walk or speak it starts barking.

It’s really fucking irritating, I’ve definitely said similar about the dog to your NDN, I very much doubt she genuinely wishes harm on your dog, she’s just frustrated and speaking in anger.
We all say things we don’t really mean when pissed off.

To be quite honest, if your dog is barking ‘a few times’ every time your NDN enters her garden or starts talking the phone that could easily be multiple times a day.
That’s not acceptable.

If your dog can’t be trusted not to start barking every time your NDN dares use her own garden then frankly, your dog shouldn’t be allowed in the garden unsupervised.
You should be out with her so you can take her inside the second she starts.