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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my dog in my garden?

129 replies

salviapages · 15/07/2021 10:39

Really can't figure this one out. My dog is a rescue and a bit jumpy. She loves to hang in the garden and it's enclosed so in nice weather we just keep the back door open and she goes out and sunbathes. We live in a suburban area so have gardens backing onto all sides of our fence.

The neighbour behind us is often in her garden talking on the phone or to her husband, when she comes out and starts talking it makes my dog jump and she barks a few times. Or if there are other sudden noises she'll bark too.

But whenever she barks my partner or I go out immediately to stop her because we want to be respectful of neighbours, and if she's too worked up we just bring her inside.

But the neighbour behind us screeches at our dog. She tells 'shut up!!' all the time, a few times has yelled that 'someone needs to throttle that dog'

I know a barking dog can be annoying but it's usually only a few barks, and we go out immediately every time to quiet her, and sometimes will bring her inside. I don't see what else we could do aside from never let her out. And I just think it's so rude to screech 'shut up!!!' into a neighbour's garden. She's an adult human who can control herself, the dog isn't. And if you live in the suburbs you surely have to accept that you will have neighbours who sometimes make noise.

AIBU to keep letting my dog in the garden?

OP posts:
igelkott2021 · 15/07/2021 15:04

My neighbour's dog does this too. I was doing something in the house yesterday and my husband opened one of the patio doors to go into the garden and the dog next door started growling and barking. I mean, has it really never heard a door before? Answer: it has. It is annoying. Too many dog owners just say their dog barks but make no real effort to train their dogs.

Fortunately the dogs don't bark that often or for that long and one of them is just yappy.

I often say "shut up stupid dog" but not loud enough to be heard. I think your neighbour's only mistake was letting you hear them.

Shannith · 15/07/2021 15:19

I have this with my neighbour. I love dogs, I have one and I foster them.

Her dog barks and throws itself against the fence when anyone goes in the garden. It is beyond annoying.

What's annoying is that she is entirely ineffective in preventing this. I don't mean shutting the dog inside - I mean training it. It would take me a couple of hours tops with rewards for calmness to fix this.

She ineffectually calls is name and says no xxx and I'm sure she'd say the dog is "just like that". No - she's "trained" it to bark because barking = attention/reward.

Teaching dogs not to bark at things is no less trainable than dogs recalling or doing any behaviours we require of them. It takes time, patience and effort but most of all consistency.

Lots of good trainers on you tube who address this.

ClaudiaWankleman · 15/07/2021 15:19

I was clearly reading the OP which at no point said 'a couple of times'. What words were you reading?

when she comes out and starts talking it makes my dog jump and she barks a few times.

@MaMelon HTH.

MaMelon · 15/07/2021 15:22

The neighbour behind us is often in her garden talking on the phone or to her husband, when she comes out and starts talking it makes my dog jump and she barks a few times. Or if there are other sudden noises she'll bark too

Is not "a couple of times".

@ClaudiaWankleman HTH.

Woodmarsh · 15/07/2021 15:39

Next doors dog barks every time I open my back door, it drives me insane

userxx · 15/07/2021 16:14

@ClaudiaWankleman Glad to see we are reading the same thread. Thought I'd missed the bit where the OP said she let her dog bark for 3 hours solid....but no.

Unanananana · 15/07/2021 16:43

Not RTFT. My next door neighbours dog barks constantly if any of us is out in the garden. It follows us up and down the garden, along the (7ft hight) fence line (which it can't see through) yapping like we are about to kill it. It drives me fucking nuts and eventually, after a couple hours, I will shout at it to shut up. Its owners lock it outside and go out or just completely ignore it. We're using our garden less and less because of it.

You neighbour is unreasonable if it really is only one or two barks, but I reckon you are underestimating how much your dog is barking.

MaMelon · 15/07/2021 16:45

Thought I'd missed the bit where the OP said she let her dog bark for 3 hours solid....but no

No, you didn’t miss that bit - you just misread the bit where you thought it was only a couple of times.

LST · 15/07/2021 16:47

@MaMelon

Thought I'd missed the bit where the OP said she let her dog bark for 3 hours solid....but no

No, you didn’t miss that bit - you just misread the bit where you thought it was only a couple of times.

She isn't letting it bark constantly though is she. A few woofs are expected from a house with a dog. As children playing noise should be expected from a house with kids
MaMelon · 15/07/2021 16:52

No-one had said she’s letting it bark constantly.

crimsonlake · 15/07/2021 17:09

You go on to say you 'sometimes bring it in'. Does this mean you actually leave the dog outside unattended?
I have neighbours that must come home lunchtime to let dog out in the garden and allow it to bark the whole time, drives me nuts.

gogohm · 15/07/2021 17:13

My next door neighbours dog barks at us if we go into the garden and he's out, they bring him in straight away and I don't say anything but really you need to work on training so your ddog doesn't bark in the garden. My dog (lives with ex! doesn't bark in the garden, it's possible, next doors dog wasn't happy when he visited!

joystir59 · 15/07/2021 17:14

Spend some time sitting in the garden with your dog so that you can anticipate het barking and get her attention, distract her, call her to you. Let her understand that she isn't on duty or in charge, you are, then hopefully with patient persistence she will relax and stop reacting to your neighbour.

Furrydogmum · 15/07/2021 17:20

Screech someone should throttle that irritating woman..

LST · 15/07/2021 17:25

@crimsonlake

You go on to say you 'sometimes bring it in'. Does this mean you actually leave the dog outside unattended? I have neighbours that must come home lunchtime to let dog out in the garden and allow it to bark the whole time, drives me nuts.
If the dog isn't barking the whole time why does it need to be called in? My dog has been out all day.
RandomHomoSapien · 15/07/2021 17:28

My advice is ignore, ignore, ignore. Let your little dog out and forget about your unhinged neighbour.

My Ddogs are v well behaved, but sometimes they bark.. at delivery men, people who approach our back garden, you know, people that could v well be a threat (as far as the dogs are aware). I don't mind them doing this, they are protecting me. Once they have barked for a short amount of time, I then quieten them. My neighbours all have dogs that bark sometimes. That's what dogs do! Your neighbour sounds utterly horrible and crazy Confused

RandomHomoSapien · 15/07/2021 17:32

You go on to say you 'sometimes bring it in'. Does this mean you actually leave the dog outside unattended?

Eh? Confused My Ddogs are in the garden unattended for hours sometimes, just mooching around, sunbathing, looking for frogs, playing, while I'm, shock horror, doing something inside, ie not watching their every move Shock They don't need to be supervised, they are sensible, well-behaved dogs and our garden is super safe and secure.

Original poster
salviapages · 15/07/2021 17:35

@crimsonlake

You go on to say you 'sometimes bring it in'. Does this mean you actually leave the dog outside unattended? I have neighbours that must come home lunchtime to let dog out in the garden and allow it to bark the whole time, drives me nuts.
Yes, when it's a hot day I leave the back door open so she can come in and out as she pleases. I work in the living room where I can see her. I don't see anything wrong with this? If she starts barking she can hear me call at her to stop and she usually does, if she doesn't then I'll get up and bring her in. I don't do whatever your neighbours do
OP posts:
BoysTownGang · 15/07/2021 17:45

Oh God, I had this! Previous NDN had a bloody yapping ratty thing that shot out of the house, the minute I entered my garden. Then it threw itself at the fence, and frantically tried to dig its way underneath…. Very unwise, given the size of my Ddog who was bemused at this noisy nuisance!
I opened a bottle of fizz🥂 they day they moved out!!
It was shoved out to yap into the wee small hours and stood in the front window going nuts all day… I heard her saying that it was a “quiet little thing” 🤣 but “the main thing is, it looks gorgeous on the ‘gram” 🙄
Seriously, Op, have a good think as to how often your Ddog really is barking, might be more than you realise.
And your neighbour sounds horrid… yelling at an animal never works x

LST · 15/07/2021 17:47

There is nothing wrong with what you're doing op

Heyyeahyouwiththesadface · 15/07/2021 17:49

Op I wish you were my neighbour.

The ones we have with a yappy dog that barks when we hang the washing out, sit in our garden, brush our teeth in the bathroom or do anything at all don’t ever tell it to be quiet or take it in. Doesn’t matter if it’s 6:30am, 11pm or any minute of the day in between.

I hate the neighbours, the barking wouldn’t bother me if they just occasionally made any attempt to stop it.

Original poster
salviapages · 15/07/2021 17:53

@BoysTownGang

Oh God, I had this! Previous NDN had a bloody yapping ratty thing that shot out of the house, the minute I entered my garden. Then it threw itself at the fence, and frantically tried to dig its way underneath…. Very unwise, given the size of my Ddog who was bemused at this noisy nuisance! I opened a bottle of fizz🥂 they day they moved out!! It was shoved out to yap into the wee small hours and stood in the front window going nuts all day… I heard her saying that it was a “quiet little thing” 🤣 but “the main thing is, it looks gorgeous on the ‘gram” 🙄 Seriously, Op, have a good think as to how often your Ddog really is barking, might be more than you realise. And your neighbour sounds horrid… yelling at an animal never works x
So you didn't have this, because the situation you described is completely different. What a weird thing to say
OP posts:
quizqueen · 15/07/2021 17:54

Barking dogs and neighbours who speak loudly on their phones in their gardens and then shout are both equally annoying and I would tell the neighbour that you will try and control your side if he/she does the same.

Original poster
salviapages · 15/07/2021 17:58

@quizqueen the neighbour speaking on her phone doesn't annoy me at all, it's her garden she can do what she likes. It's only relevant as sometimes the noise makes my dog jump and bark. I wouldn't ask her to control her noise

However I would worry about trying to talk to her because she's so aggressive the way she shouts over I don't feel like she would be receptive. Plus, she can hear me tell my dog to be quiet and take her inside so she will know I'm dealing with it. So aside from never letting my dog out i don't know what she expects me to do

OP posts:
ShitPoetryClub · 15/07/2021 18:07

Our rescue dog used to behave like this, he's a lhasa apso and it's a breed trait. It didn't annoy the neighbours, just us! However we really got to grips with reward training, distracting him with treats every time he reacted to something. The only thing he kicks off about now is thunder.
It's hard work but it's so worth it.