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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask neighbours to keep kids off trampoline in working hours?

600 replies

PineappleMojito · 15/07/2021 07:24

Not really for me, for my DP who is WFH. I don’t WFH so this doesn’t impact but he is very bothered by it.

Next door recently bought a trampoline for their two kids. When they go on it, they’re really noisy - they scream and shout a lot, I’ve heard them on the weekends when I’m home and it is loud. DP is hearing impaired, he’s on work Zoom calls during the day and the noise is making it difficult to do his calls. One is a pre schooler and the other we think might be home at the moment because school bubble has burst. Obviously he is used to general neighbour noise during day, but he finds the screaming and shouting difficult as it’s right next to our fence. He’s using noise cancelling headphones for calls, but even with those it’s getting through and making it hard for him to concentrate and hear what’s being said.

Would he BU to ask them if they could keep the kids off the trampoline during his work hours or confine it to lunch time during the week? He has an hour break where he’d be fine with them using it, he normally goes out to walk the dog. They’re very nice neighbours and we’ve never had any issues, but he’s afraid to rock the boat.

OP posts:
TheDevils · 15/07/2021 08:42

A lot of people are too lazy to take their children to the park or teach them to behave considerately, they think they and their children can behave like savages all day and to hell with anyone else.

They're playing in their own garden ffs.

My DS is currently off isolating and is spending most of the day playing outside. I do tell him no noisy toys but he's 6 and is not going to play in silence.
I can't take him to the park because he's isolating AND I'm working!!

Marmitemarinaded · 15/07/2021 08:43

@Bryonyshcmyony

If they play on the trampoline for more than a few weeks, before getting bored with it and leaving it to end up an unsightly eyesore, buried in weeds and long grass, then they'll be extremely unusual
We got a spring free two yesterday ago.

My two are out on it pretty much every day Of the year

Maves · 15/07/2021 08:43

Collect a shit load of spiders and Chuck em on every morning. Trampolines are the invention of the devil

Busybee5000 · 15/07/2021 08:43

I’d just explain the situation and say that you’d appreciate it if possible that they could keep the noise down when they can etc etc.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 15/07/2021 08:44

They will know you smoke, no doubt about that. And they could report you
You must live in a very privileged naice area of the police would have the manpower to come out to check an adult occasionally smoking a spliff. We couldn’t even get them out to my aunts house when the neighbours started a grow house and the wall was scorching hot to the touch from the heat lamps.

I do think you need to be more aware of your smoking though op. Do it in an enclosed space like a shed, as really you can’t be pissed off at your neighbours for bothering your husband when you’re “only smoking when the kids are indoors”. I’m guessing at the moment windows are open as it’s hot, it will be wafting in.

It’s boils down to consideration from both sides.

25yearsnhsworker · 15/07/2021 08:44

If the trampoline is new hopefully the novelty will wear off.
I wouldn't want this all day either but I would feel it is their garden and up to them how they use it.
Some people don't think about people around them. I am always reminding my two 23 and 18 that there is a baby next door (2 now) and to remember she will be in bed before them so keep the noise down.

Bryonyshcmyony · 15/07/2021 08:45

No wonder the noise is annoying you if you are stoned!

entrytohr · 15/07/2021 08:46

I'd think you'd BU to ask this.

But could you explain that he's hearing impaired and really struggling with the level of noise? Ask if they'll keep them a little bit quieter? I completely sympathise with the screaming, I can't stand it and my own kids come inside if they start as neighbours shouldn't have to suffer it. It's an awful noise.

gogohm · 15/07/2021 08:48

Very unreasonable. Use a different room for work

godmum56 · 15/07/2021 08:49

I suspect that some parents are genetically incapable of hearing the noise that their own kids make...and I know its been said on MN threads that some other people who can hear the noise deliberately position stuff as far away as they can from their own houses. Has anyone said "neurodiverse" on this thread yet?

SpiderinaWingMirror · 15/07/2021 08:51

This reminds me of business people holding a meeting in the local Costa and complaining about kids being there!
Sympathy for dh but there is no way that is gonna happen
We have a trampoline mad 13 year old and are just about to put ours up. She doesn't scream but just doing it makes noise.

callmeadoctor · 15/07/2021 08:51

But he needs to sort it with work, OP. If he can't work properly at home...........................

Createdjustforthis · 15/07/2021 08:52

A spliff might not scream but it stinks, gets everywhere and is antisocial.

If you were my neighbour I’d be fucked off enough to buy a trampoline out of spite.

Overthebow · 15/07/2021 08:52

YABU. It’s school holidays, you can’t ask children to stop playing because your DH is working. Homes and gardens are for playing in.

How much consideration would you say neighbours should have for others who WFH during these times?

None. It’s not ‘these times’ anymore. Most companies have gone back to the office. Many some consideration would have been nice during the first lockdown but not now, we’re way past those times. If your DH can’t wfh he needs to take this up with his company, not your neighbors. It’s not their problem.

gogohm · 15/07/2021 08:52

@25yearsnhsworker

We are the same with ours, noise to be reduced in evening and not audible outside their rooms after 10pm eg wear headsets and talk quietly. I text them from bed if I hear them! Young adults who had lived away now back.

nicknamehelp · 15/07/2021 08:53

Has he tried a roger before? They’re a good option as they’re very effective at filtering out background noise, and adjust volume etc continually to reduce the disturbance of back ground noise.

My daughter uses a Roger which is great she also has a cable which plugs into device she is using audio on and other end plugs into her hearing aid so audio goes through hearing aids which she finds invaluable. Also Zoom does have a subtitle function which she also switches on. I think as its the summer and they are kids he is going to have to work round them a bit. COuld he even explain issues he is having to boss and see if an exception can be made and an office space made available?

thefamous5 · 15/07/2021 08:54

Even if they weren't making noise on the trampoline, they'd be making noise in the garden and you absolutely cannot ask children not to use their own garden during the summer or at all.

Cant he use a different room, or a coworking hun?

hawkehurstgang · 15/07/2021 08:56

You definitely would be unreasonable! Would you really go round there and ask this??! Entertaining children at home is juat as important and challenging as working from home. No one person's needs trump another to the extent that it would be okay to dictate what someone does on their private property.

Trumpkin · 15/07/2021 08:57

I think children will make noise when they play, that's normal if you live in a built-up area. You could have a (nice) word with your neighbours and ask if the kids could perhaps scream a little less when they're out? But if they don't dial it down, then there is not much you can do - children just do not have the same self-restraint as adults and they'll probably forget.

I would ask your DH to try a different headset. Especially the flimsy telephone style ones are not great at filtering noise, has he got a proper noise-cancelling set of headphones?

Also, if he has some hearing loss but is frequently irritated by background noise, it could be helpful to speak to his audiologist. Has he got hearing aids? In my experience, the background noise is worse and drowns out conversations when the hearing aids are not adjusted properly.

Lostinmumming · 15/07/2021 08:58

I appreciate it must be hard for him to deal with but I agree with other posters it wbu to ask them not to play.

You mention that the trampoline is right next to your fence - is there scope for them to move it somewhere else in their garden that would be further away from your house and fence? If so you could try explaining the noise disruption and asking if they would be willing to move it?

Original poster
PineappleMojito · 15/07/2021 08:58

Some of the responses here are frankly nasty and ableist. And for those wanting to derail with talk about weed smoking - that’s not the issue here. Until they had kids, our neighbours used to smoke spliffs with us from time to time, so they’re not going to report us. We get on well and never had any issues before this. And I can assure you, the police wouldn’t give a flying monkeys where I live! It might technically be illegal, but they’ve much bigger fish to fry.

Just to clarify for those posters who have decided that my DP doesn’t want the kids to play out in the garden at all - that’s not the case. The screaming and shrieking has only been an issue since the trampoline arrived. He expects normal kids playing out noise. Before that thing, the kids did play out and yes the odd scream but the trampoline seems to get them very hyped up. The kids do not have SEN or anything, before anyone suggests it.

DP is looking for another job and perhaps he will need to step up those efforts as his employers are, frankly a bit shit. They should be doing more. They only begrudgingly bought headphones for him and while they’re decent enough, they’re not as good as what was recommended. They’ve prioritised business needs for return to the office and given no consideration to employee needs at all.

I am astounded that a lot of people don’t seem to think ANY consideration of neighbours is warranted when you have kids. Things have really changed since I was a kid, we would not have been allowed to scream and shout at high volume like that for long periods of time.

OP posts:
Terminallysleepdeprived · 15/07/2021 08:58

You can't ban them but you can speak to your neighbours and explain that he is working from home, hard of hearing and ask them if it is possible to prevent the loud screams and shrieks.

However, if the comments about your weed smoking are genuine then frankly you reap what you sew. Both highly antisocial behaviours.

Bibidy · 15/07/2021 08:58

He has a headset. Even with the headset it’s interfering. It is very loud and high pitched, so I understand why it’s bothering him. He can’t move rooms either, there’s nowhere in the house suitable for work.

It seems he would be being unreasonable if he asked them not to use it at all. How much consideration would you say neighbours should have for others who WFH during these times?

There must be somewhere in your house that your DH can move just for the duration of his calls, surely? Even if it means he doesn't appear on camera.

Re the 2nd question, I personally think that the 'home' status comes first, before the 'working' element. I don't think people should have to stop using their homes and gardens in the way they always have because neighbours may be working. That said though, obviously excessive noise is never OK and if they genuinely are screaming all day then that's not reasonable.

PineappleMojito · 15/07/2021 09:01

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Original poster
PineappleMojito · 15/07/2021 09:02

it could be helpful to speak to his audiologist. Has he got hearing aids? In my experience, the background noise is worse and drowns out conversations when the hearing aids are not adjusted properly

Hasn’t had an appointment since Covid. But perhaps they need changing/adjusting.

OP posts: