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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask neighbours to keep kids off trampoline in working hours?

600 replies

PineappleMojito · 15/07/2021 07:24

Not really for me, for my DP who is WFH. I don’t WFH so this doesn’t impact but he is very bothered by it.

Next door recently bought a trampoline for their two kids. When they go on it, they’re really noisy - they scream and shout a lot, I’ve heard them on the weekends when I’m home and it is loud. DP is hearing impaired, he’s on work Zoom calls during the day and the noise is making it difficult to do his calls. One is a pre schooler and the other we think might be home at the moment because school bubble has burst. Obviously he is used to general neighbour noise during day, but he finds the screaming and shouting difficult as it’s right next to our fence. He’s using noise cancelling headphones for calls, but even with those it’s getting through and making it hard for him to concentrate and hear what’s being said.

Would he BU to ask them if they could keep the kids off the trampoline during his work hours or confine it to lunch time during the week? He has an hour break where he’d be fine with them using it, he normally goes out to walk the dog. They’re very nice neighbours and we’ve never had any issues, but he’s afraid to rock the boat.

OP posts:

FizzyTango · 15/07/2021 08:28

I think a lot of posters are being quite mean and have missed that the husband has a hearing impairment. I have one too and I know if there was screeching and general children noise I would find it impossible to filter it out to focus on the zoom call. And headphones wouldn’t help.
Having said that, I don’t think you can say anything to the neighbours so it’s a difficult one! I can’t think of a solution really! If there is a specific time he always has a meeting you could ask very nicely (and fully expect the neighbour to say no, but I know I would help my neighbour if say it was always only an hour or two a day). But if it’s the whole day, you can’t reasonably ask.

thebeesknees123 · 15/07/2021 08:29

Is it just the hearing issue that makes it difficult? I don't know if Zoom has this but some Apps, such as Teams, have live captions.

If not, there is a really handy app you can get on your phone, called Livetranscribe, which I have used with online calls by placing my phone next to the laptop

C8H10N4O2 · 15/07/2021 08:29

He has a headset. Even with the headset it’s interfering. It is very loud and high pitched, so I understand why it’s bothering him. He can’t move rooms either, there’s nowhere in the house suitable for work

He needs a better, noise cancelling headset, possibly one recommended by his local audiology unit or group for his type of hearing impairment.

If his employer wants you both to keep subsidising their office costs ask them to cover the costs of better headsets and any other equipment needed (and an occupational health assessment to confirm the issues being experienced by a hearing impaired employee).

Its not realistic, let alone reasonable, to expect a neighbourhood to maintain quiet during the working day be it children, builders or any other work. Not to mention in the case of children if they can't use their garden in the day when do they use it? In the evenings when people might expect a bit of quiet?

NotMyCat · 15/07/2021 08:29

To be fair, mine is that I'm disturbed whether I'm WFH or not. I can't block the noise out as I don't want to wear noise cancelling headphones in my home all day!
When I say shrieking - they have a pool so you can imagine the noise from that
Playing/chatting/laughing of course all normal but if I had screamed like that as a kid my mum would have been STFU or get inside

DottyHarmer · 15/07/2021 08:29

I can see both sides. Obviously homes are not perfect workplaces and you have to accept neighbour noise. But that should be reasonable neighbour noise. Even if you are not wfh and just sitting in your house or garden you should not be assaulted with day-long screaming and shouting. Happy playing noises are good to hear, shrieking not so much and although I would never say anything, I’d be pretty fed up if I lived next door to this.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 15/07/2021 08:30

Agree with @Shehasadiamondinthesky. When did it become normal to let kids scream and shout as much as they want? I wasn't allowed to scream as a kid and all it's done is made me respectful of other people.
Our neighbour has a trampoline and it's well away from my house but the noise of screaming is unbearable when the kid has friends round to use it.

I sympathise with your DH. However, the consensus on here is clearly that you should happily sit listening to screaming kids all day and never complain.

Bibidy · 15/07/2021 08:30

Sorry, this is completely unreasonable.

There must be somewhere in your house where the noise is less, your DH can do his calls in his noise cancelling headphones there.

BeardyButton · 15/07/2021 08:30

The attitude to children.... they are playing. Children have a right to play. “Screamers”.....

ChainJane · 15/07/2021 08:31

@pinkcircustop

Round our way you wouldn’t know which house the smell was coming from anyway!

Right, so that’s ok then? No. Be considerate - you have children next door. How irresponsible and selfish of you.

That reply has got to be a wind-up. It's fine for the neighbours to shout and scream all day long and be disruptive, but it's not OK for the OP to smoke a few herbs? This country has gone topsy-turvy, there is no common sense anymore.

Rule 1 of having kids: don't let them piss of the neighbours.

m0therofdragons · 15/07/2021 08:32

He needs noise cancelling headphones - get advice from an audiologist. Children have a right to play in their garden. Everyone up my road has trampolines and I’ve never experienced the noise mn claims they encourage dc to make (i have 3 loud dc myself and haven’t noticed a difference since getting the trampoline.”

HasaDigaEebowai · 15/07/2021 08:33

Many people with hearing impairments find it hard to filter out background noise, so if someone is speaking it can be very difficult to hear what they are saying if there is also background noise.

That makes sense thank you

FlyingPandas · 15/07/2021 08:33

@Alwayswonderedwhy

I think it's fine to ask them to stop screaming. They can use the trampoline but the screaming is unnecessary.

This!

We have a trampoline and my kids love it but they are categorically not allowed to shriek and scream on it.

Chatting and laughing and the occasional shout, yes.

High pitched screaming no.

I’m always aware of neighbours trying to work and enjoy their gardens and I pull my DC up on screaming straight away, always have.

I agree you can’t ask them not to use the trampoline, that would be ridiculous, but asking them to stop the kids shrieking all day would be entirely fair. Unless the DC have some SN that you’re not aware of, any child can learn not to scream constantly.

Marmitemarinaded · 15/07/2021 08:33

@ChainJane

What the op is doing is illegal

Plus it’s a noxious smell

And permeates everything! (I speak as the neighbour of a spliff smoker)

pinkcircustop · 15/07/2021 08:35

Rule 1 of having kids: don't let them piss of the neighbours.

@ChainJane No, it’s not okay for the neighbours to be engaging in illegal, disgusting activities.

If I had weed smoking neighbours I would absolutely let my kids play as happily as they wanted

Bryonyshcmyony · 15/07/2021 08:37

think a lot of posters are being quite mean and have missed that the husband has a hearing impairment. I have one too and I know if there was screeching and general children noise I would find it impossible to filter it out to focus on the zoom call. And headphones wouldn’t help

I am deaf in one ear and noise cancelling headphones are a lifeline!!

MikeWozniaksGloriousTache · 15/07/2021 08:38

Asking them not to use the trampoline / be in the garden isn’t ok at all.

Asking them to be mindful of the noise is fine. Neighbours should do this as a matter of course when they live in areas adjacent to others, however all politeness and consideration seems to be a thing of the past now, as demonstrated by this lovely example.

If it bothers him, he should change his behaviour. Children don’t have to change their behaviour because a man is at work.

Yes, if children are screaming bloody murder for no reason, and being antisocial then of course they should change their behaviour. Regardless of a man being at work or not. We’re not talking about general child noise, which is to be expected in a neighbourhood setting.

You say your husband was in the kitchen and you in the study, you’re back in the office so is he in the study? Consider soundproofing if this is going to be a long term office.

mayblossominapril · 15/07/2021 08:38

I also have hearing issues and totally understand the background noise and zoom issues. He needs to explain to his employer and ask to go back to the office.
I have children and I’m about to buy a house with a garden, I am compromising on size and location for the garden, there’s no way I would keep them inside during the day

Manista · 15/07/2021 08:38

I can't work out when it became acceptable for children to constantly scream when playing. Yes, shout, have some fun, but the constant shrieking isn't acceptable. I don't know how the parents stand it either. It's OK to ask children to moderate some behaviour.

Dohrehmee · 15/07/2021 08:39

It’s only seems the t shrieking and screaming at high pitch is a problem.? Can’t the kids enjoy the trampoline without being so shrieking and screaming. If we did that our parents would tell us to come in. We soon learnt you could enjoy having fun in the garden without screaming so loud.

OhNoNoNoNoNo · 15/07/2021 08:39

Wow so many nasty and snide responses.

OP, if my kids were bothering anyone I'd have wanted to know and I would have taken steps to minimise the noise or whatever. Mind I've have never let my kids shriek as I used to find it massively annoying myself. I'd speak to the neighbours if they are usually nice. Unfortunately, it's seems from this thread at least that many people don't give a shit about trying to live with neighbours happily.

The weed smoking would annoy me more than screeching though if it was enough to smell from next door. I can't stand the sickly smell, it really lingers.

I bet the noise will subside when the kids get used to the trampoline.

callmeadoctor · 15/07/2021 08:40

If its affecting his work then he should be sorting this out with his employers. They should hire him an office space if they don't want him to come back to the normal office. This one is entirely on his employers and he should grow a backbone and sort it with work.

MyriadeOfThings · 15/07/2021 08:40

Honestly?

Houses have been built and designed for house use, aka children playing, people meeting up, cooking, sleeping etc…
NOT to be used for work.

That’s why your DP is struggling so much. But it’s not the responsibility of your neighbours. You can’t ask them to be more considerate for what is the normal use of a garden.
The issue you have is about the fact your DP is working from home. This is what he should bring to his company - aka wfh isn’t working

vivainsomnia · 15/07/2021 08:41

last summer, it got so bad with our neighbours screaming and shouting on the trampoline that I decided to record the decibel levels from my garden. Sure enough, it was higher than what is considered a safe level. By that time, it was late summer, the weather turned not so nice and they were not on it as much so let it dropped and so far this year, I havent heard that level of noise.

It's easy to assume that it is normal noise and to be accepted. That kind of noise can be worse than motorway traffic! I would do the same, record the levels and if too high for too long, report it to the council if mum is not willing to ask the kids to tune it down.

Bryonyshcmyony · 15/07/2021 08:41

If they play on the trampoline for more than a few weeks, before getting bored with it and leaving it to end up an unsightly eyesore, buried in weeds and long grass, then they'll be extremely unusual

KarmaStar · 15/07/2021 08:41

Ask them if they could speak to their dc about the screaming is reasonable when you explain the problem.💐🌈

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