AIBU to ask neighbours to keep kids off trampoline in working hours?

[PineappleMojito]

Not really for me, for my DP who is WFH. I don’t WFH so this doesn’t impact but he is very bothered by it.

Next door recently bought a trampoline for their two kids. When they go on it, they’re really noisy - they scream and shout a lot, I’ve heard them on the weekends when I’m home and it is loud. DP is hearing impaired, he’s on work Zoom calls during the day and the noise is making it difficult to do his calls. One is a pre schooler and the other we think might be home at the moment because school bubble has burst. Obviously he is used to general neighbour noise during day, but he finds the screaming and shouting difficult as it’s right next to our fence. He’s using noise cancelling headphones for calls, but even with those it’s getting through and making it hard for him to concentrate and hear what’s being said.

Would he BU to ask them if they could keep the kids off the trampoline during his work hours or confine it to lunch time during the week? He has an hour break where he’d be fine with them using it, he normally goes out to walk the dog. They’re very nice neighbours and we’ve never had any issues, but he’s afraid to rock the boat.

I don't think you're being wholly unreasonable, OP. Shrieking/screaming children are deeply annoying. At school, I tell my children that I don't mind the normal noise of outside play, but sustained shrieking is unacceptable, and if they scream, I have to presume they're injured or terrified and will have to come inside to recover.

I think that if your partner is going to WFH as a long term thing, you need to consider investing in something that will make this manageable. Are the windows in the room double glazed? What about some noise cancelling curtains that could be pulled across when making video calls? Or could he move his computer area to another area, or set up a "secondary space" in the house with a laptop that could be used when necessary?

I do have some sympathy, but I work from home too and dealing with some noise is something you have to put up with or work around.

@MarianneUnfaithful

Blimey!

I had no idea it was change differed completely acceptable to allow your kids to shriek and shout at full volume in the garden all day every day!

Noise is a disturbance to other people and inconsiderate if it goes on all day every day.

I bet the answer would be different if the kids were playing drum kits.

Where does it say all day every day?

YABU. Unfortunately this is what happens when people live in such close proximity to each other. The only way to resolve something like this is to move or go back into the office I’m afraid.

Going against the grain, if your DH asked me nicely to keep my DC off the trampoline for his most 'important' calls (let's say 2-3 times a week for a couple of hours), I would arrange for them to watch TV, do a quiet activity or go out during that time. What I'm afraid would seem unreasonable to me would be a blanket Mon-Fri 9-5 exclusion from the trampoline request.

I had quite a bit of sympathy with you at the beginning of this. Noise intrusion is a real nuisance. But your reaction about weed is pretty antisocial in itself. I hate the smell of weed and it really lingers long after it’s been used. So I find your hypocritical comments rather rich.

I wouldn't ask our neighbours if their children can stop playing in the garden

However I also wouldn't allow my children to scream a lot in the garden either, playing is one thing, screaming is another! It's about being respectful, isn't it?

Work need to be making the allowances and provisions here. He needs to speak with HR

I feel for you OP . We have had the exact same scenario.
One positive though, the trampoline in our neighbours garden has been there a few months now and it’s definitely getting less use than it was at first. But I wouldn’t say anything if I were you.

My neighbours have a trampoline, well away from their house and almost under my bedroom window. It’s awful but I close the bog standard upvc window and it’s bearable.

That’s on one side, on the other is a primary school playground! Window closed also cuts out much of the noise.

I’ve WFH for about 15 years now and YAB completely U.

Sorry, your DH WFH doesn’t trump everyone else’s life.

Although I hate the sound of kids high pitch screaming and have the odd moan to myself about neighbours kids doing this. Why can’t he return to the office? Is it an option? You can’t ask kids to be quiet because your working from home. It’s the people who are on night shift I feel sorry for in the summer months, trying to sleep through the day is a nightmare.

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I don't know why people allow their brats to shriek all day it's bloody selfish. When I was bringing up mine they had to keep the noise reasonable i.e no shrieking as we lived in a built up area in a terraced house. If they needed to let off steam and run and shout I'd take them down to the park for a few hours to get it out of their system. Otherwise they never learn to respect other peoples space and grow up to be considerate human beings. A lot of people are too lazy to take their children to the park or teach them to behave considerately, they think they and their children can behave like savages all day and to hell with anyone else.

I kind of agree with this, to be honest. The children need to learn that their screaming impacts other people. We would never let ours be outside screaming all day long, especially if we knew a neighbour was trying to work.

If a neighbour in your situation came to me and said my kids were disturbing them, I'd be mortified and would see what I could do about it. Certainly an hour in the middle of the day when they could go as nuts as they wanted would be fine, but the rest of the time I'd expect the kids to keep the noise down.

Obviously it's a bit different if kids are very young and don't understand (or have special needs that mean they really need to let off steam and screaming is part of that), but in general they need to learn to respect their neighbourhood.

It is annoying and if you were posting as a parent with screaming kids and a neighbour who'd asked if the kids could not scream all day long you'd have been ripped a new one, told yes of course kids should enjoy playing outside but you still have to be considerate and to think of neighbours and stop the kids constantly squealing in the garden by taking them to the park or keeping them in for an hour here and there so it's not constant the entire day etc. I know this cos there have been such threads!

I don't think politely asking if the squealing could be reduced is the wrong thing to do or that you are the spawn of Satan for not being ok with ear piercing squeals all day long.

Sorry I just read about going back to the office.

@SlothinSpirit

Going against the grain, if your DH asked me nicely to keep my DC off the trampoline for his most 'important' calls (let's say 2-3 times a week for a couple of hours), I would arrange for them to watch TV, do a quiet activity or go out during that time. What I'm afraid would seem unreasonable to me would be a blanket Mon-Fri 9-5 exclusion from the trampoline request.

While you might manage that it's not sustainable to expect another family to live according to another person's timetable. There is no way this could be coordinated with a neighbour. And even asking is looking for trouble. I bought a trampoline for my child last year and it was a fantastic way of them being outside having fun. The last thing parents should be asked to do is put kids inside for the whole summer and make them keep quiet because people are working from home. The answer is headphones, soundproof the room or move out to an office or library for the summer. People and children are entitled to the free use of their gardens.

You said when you both wfh that you had the study and he had the kitchen.. could he use the study now? Might be quieter?

@KatherineSiena

I had quite a bit of sympathy with you at the beginning of this. Noise intrusion is a real nuisance. But your reaction about weed is pretty antisocial in itself. I hate the smell of weed and it really lingers long after it’s been used. So I find your hypocritical comments rather rich.

Weed wouldn’t have even been mentioned here if another poster who is anti weed hadn’t brought beef from another thread because I dared disagree with their opinion that all weed smokers are dreadful human beings. It’s not relevant to the thread. If our neighbours ever said they had an issue with weed smoking we’d try to do something about it so they weren’t upset by it.

It seems the way forward if you get on so well with h them is to have a chat about consideration to noise levels. Presumably they know about his difficulties?

But of course you can't ask them to stop using it.

How does he manage with background noise in the office?

Don’t be ridiculous OP

I'm probably in the minority here as I don't have children and I HATE the sound of kids screeching and screaming. I am WFH too and am dreading the summer holidays as a day all I'm going to hear is kids screaming and shouting and shrieking and booting footballs against fences and generally being little nuisances.
Unfortunately it is part and parcel of living on an estate with lots of neighbours.
But sadly most people on here will think YABU as those little cherubs they call children can do no wrong, no matter how irritating they are.

Have you thought of using one of the office spaces that you can rent by the hour? Thats what my friend does. She has always worked from home but with Covid her partner has been at home too. Proved too difficult having both of them at home so they rent extra space.
You also say that your husband's company is not very helpful . Might this because his noise sensitivity has made life difficult for his co-workers in the past. I used to work in an opem plan office with someone like this and frankly he (why is it always he?) was a total pain in the bum.

I don't really understand the issue. Why not just work at the front of the house ? Let the kids play tury are probably bored . If it is due to burst bubble they can't even go to the park .

I don't think you can ask them to stay off the trampoline but I think it's reasonable to pop round and explain the situation asking if they can get the children to keep the noise down a bit.

People can be quite tolerant of their own children's noise levels.

I dont think theres anything wrong with saying to your neighbours that youre working from home and is there any chance they could try not to do the shrieking and jump a bit quieter because you feel its gone beyond the noise of normal play and its hard to do your calls.

Obviously you cant ask them not to play on the trampoline, but screeching all day in the garden is gonna try anyones patience

I think of you have a good relationship with them you could mention it he has a disability and its affecting him. I would be sympathetic if that was me maybe there is another part of the garden the trampoline could go that may be better.