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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask neighbours to keep kids off trampoline in working hours?

600 replies

PineappleMojito · 15/07/2021 07:24

Not really for me, for my DP who is WFH. I don’t WFH so this doesn’t impact but he is very bothered by it.

Next door recently bought a trampoline for their two kids. When they go on it, they’re really noisy - they scream and shout a lot, I’ve heard them on the weekends when I’m home and it is loud. DP is hearing impaired, he’s on work Zoom calls during the day and the noise is making it difficult to do his calls. One is a pre schooler and the other we think might be home at the moment because school bubble has burst. Obviously he is used to general neighbour noise during day, but he finds the screaming and shouting difficult as it’s right next to our fence. He’s using noise cancelling headphones for calls, but even with those it’s getting through and making it hard for him to concentrate and hear what’s being said.

Would he BU to ask them if they could keep the kids off the trampoline during his work hours or confine it to lunch time during the week? He has an hour break where he’d be fine with them using it, he normally goes out to walk the dog. They’re very nice neighbours and we’ve never had any issues, but he’s afraid to rock the boat.

OP posts:
Equimum · 15/07/2021 08:21

Definitely unreasonable. My DH has been working from home for over a year now, and he has to tolerate our own children playing in the garden and occasionally making noise in the house. Unfortunately, this is just part of WFH and reasonable companies understand that.

Original poster
PineappleMojito · 15/07/2021 08:21

@Marmitemarinaded

I wonder if you’re weed smoking bothers them?! Grin
Grin well we sure don’t do it when the kids are outside. Round our way you wouldn’t know which house the smell was coming from anyway!

Also, spliffs don’t scream Wink

OP posts:
KikiniBamalam · 15/07/2021 08:21

Ooh ‘eck. Can your dp rent a room in an office? You are being quite unreasonable.

HasaDigaEebowai · 15/07/2021 08:22

How is he hearing impaired but also noise sensitive to the extent that you making coffee is a problem?

Sorry op but he needs to go back to the office if he needs a quieter work environment

Katefoster · 15/07/2021 08:22

How much consideration would you say neighbours should have for others who WFH during these times?

I had to stop reading as this made my blood boil. I have ZERO consideration for those lucky enough to work from home when I'm 20 weeks pregnant and in an AGP room with a force 10 mask all day. Look it up it's extremely uncomfortable so yeah I'm not gunna feel sorry for your husband who sounds delightful. Honestly you both need to get a grip and realise just how lucky to you to first have a job and secondly be able to WFH

finallymightbehappening · 15/07/2021 08:22

Totally unreasonable

NailsNeedDoing · 15/07/2021 08:22

I have sympathy with your husbands position, but the problem is for his employers to deal with, not his neighbours.

You can’t expect the neighbours to go out of their way to facilitate your husbands job when his own employers are the ones that are failing in their duty to provide a decent workspace. Your DH needs to be putting pressure on them, not the neighbours children.

woodfort · 15/07/2021 08:23

Our neighbour complained about my DC playing in our garden in lockdown 1 (no trampoline, no dog, no hot tub …). My DH had to point out that we understood she was wfh because of lockdown but equally the DC were home all day for the same reason. It was not our choice for them to be at home all day either and not be able to take them out. I really don’t understand what some people expect.

If they don’t play on the trampoline during working hours, when can they play? Before work? Because other neighbours will probably find that too early. The evening? Because again other neighbours will find that too late especially if it interferes with early bedtimes for little ones. They can’t win.

Can he really not go back into the office?

moanymyrtle · 15/07/2021 08:23

Has he actually said to his workplace that he cant wfh productively due to his disablility and neighbour noise? If you are in England the guidance is wfh if you can, he can't so he should return to the office. Every employer has to make exceptions if there are reasons why wfh is not possible. Many of my colleagues work in our call centre and they have been the first to return because so much of their work is phone based - although usually its their own kids making noise in the background that have forced a return.

SimonJT · 15/07/2021 08:23

@PineappleMojito

Cafe and library not an option. Confidentiality needed for zoom calls.

DP is not an awful person. He’s been hoping to go back to the office for a while now and his work keep putting it off. They’ve been prioritising operational teams and his work involves forward planning so he’s not operational and has been told he won’t return until 2022. He might get to go back one day a week from September.

He doesn’t want to be unreasonable or invite conflict, that’s why he asked me to see on here if people thought it was. It seems it is and I’ll feed that back to him, up to him what he does with it, whether he does talk to them about the screaming or not or whether he decides it’s not worth risking conflict and he’ll have to deal. It really does carry, we often go out on weekends to get away from it since they got the trampoline. We don’t have a big house and we don’t live in a brilliant area, people don’t have big massive gardens. We had a lot of issues during lockdown 1, neighbours (not same one) drinking and having domestics in the street, one lot got a dog and left it to bark all day outside, there was antisocial behaviour with another set of teenagers. I think he’s just at the end of his tether with it. We want to move after all this crap, so are saving up for the costs that’ll be involved, so hiring a room wouldn’t help with that unless his work paid.

Has he had a remote workplace assessment? As he is hearing impaired one should have been carried out when he started working from home. It would also then be supportive for an application to access to work funding.
Alwayswonderedwhy · 15/07/2021 08:24

I think it's fine to ask them to stop screaming. They can use the trampoline but the screaming is unnecessary.

Googlewasmyidea1 · 15/07/2021 08:25

@GCrebel

If it bothers him, he should change his behaviour.

Children don’t have to change their behaviour because a man is at work.

But, i’ve a feeling that isn’t about the children at all. Can I ask why you started this thread, OP? If his behaviour towards you becoming a problem - and I’m very sorry if it is - he is still the problem. Don’t walk on eggshells around him or expect everyone else to bend to his will.

Erm....what?!
NotMyCat · 15/07/2021 08:25

It's frustrating. My neighbours have children in the garden screaming and shrieking all day (I'm talking 9am - 7pm), which means I don't use my garden because the only separation is a wire fence and the gardens are so tiny you can't move away
Windows are shut (boiling!) and still customers comment on the noise but I can't do much else as you can hear them from every bloody room
I don't mind playing but the ear piercing shrieking is ridiculous

zafferana · 15/07/2021 08:26

You definitely can't ask them to keep their DC off their trampoline during the school holidays.

But you can ask them to keep the noise down/not scream. TBH, I think your neighbours are BU allowing their DC to scream when they have neighbours who are almost certainly stuck WFH at the moment.

Marmitemarinaded · 15/07/2021 08:26

* Also, spliffs don’t scream*

My neighbour smoked spliffs and the smell permeates everything! Plus bothers me that my children are out in the garden and we can often smell it.

Spliff smokers one actually realise how pungent the smell is!

Roselilly36 · 15/07/2021 08:26

YABU your DH working from home, should not impact the neighbours enjoying their garden. My DH also WFH and has done so for many years, our neighbours are quiet, but there dog is another story! It’s just part & parcel of having neighbours.

Marmitemarinaded · 15/07/2021 08:26

don’t

SimonJT · 15/07/2021 08:26

@HasaDigaEebowai

How is he hearing impaired but also noise sensitive to the extent that you making coffee is a problem?

Sorry op but he needs to go back to the office if he needs a quieter work environment

Many people with hearing impairments find it hard to filter out background noise, so if someone is speaking it can be very difficult to hear what they are saying if there is also background noise.

My son has a hearing impairment, its fairly minor compared to others, he has hearing aids, but of course they amplify everything. So if we are in a cafe and there is the noise of cutlery, a coffee machine etc, then he is unable to seperate that sound from the sound of my speech.

Ragwort · 15/07/2021 08:26

I think he needs to make it clear to his employer that WFH is no longer sustainable & is affecting his performance, it would obviously be better for him (and therefore his employer) to be back in the office. Surely there must be the opportunity to make an exception and allow him to return to a professional working environment? He's clearly tried his best since the beginning of the pandemic but now needs to return to the office. That would be a far better discussion than asking the neighbours to keep their DC quiet - And I have every sympathy for your DH, I would hate to WFH ... fortunately not an option in my line of work!

TiddyAndFletch · 15/07/2021 08:27

@Alwayswonderedwhy

I think it's fine to ask them to stop screaming. They can use the trampoline but the screaming is unnecessary.
Yes, I'd agree. Trampoline - no issue, but the screaming would annoy me.
ohthatbloodycat · 15/07/2021 08:27

It's best if you or your husband ask them to keep the trampoline noise down in general. To ask them to stay off it completely will sound a bit nuts.
For what it's worth, if I received a similar complaint about my kids, I'd then get them off the trampoline whenever they screamed. Not that I'd allow them to do that in the first place. It's inconsiderate.

BobMortimersPetOwl · 15/07/2021 08:27

I think you could ask for them to ease off the screaming but you can't ask them to not use their garden.

When are kids meant to be able to play in the garden if they can't in the morning as people are in bed, they can't in the day as people are working and they can't in the evening as babies are sleeping???

Marmitemarinaded · 15/07/2021 08:27

Plus what you’re doing is illegal

I’d read carefully op

They will know you smoke, no doubt about that. And they could report you

pinkcircustop · 15/07/2021 08:27

Round our way you wouldn’t know which house the smell was coming from anyway!

Right, so that’s ok then? No. Be considerate - you have children next door. How irresponsible and selfish of you.

Marmitemarinaded · 15/07/2021 08:27

Tread carefully!!