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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask neighbours to keep kids off trampoline in working hours?

600 replies

PineappleMojito · 15/07/2021 07:24

Not really for me, for my DP who is WFH. I don’t WFH so this doesn’t impact but he is very bothered by it.

Next door recently bought a trampoline for their two kids. When they go on it, they’re really noisy - they scream and shout a lot, I’ve heard them on the weekends when I’m home and it is loud. DP is hearing impaired, he’s on work Zoom calls during the day and the noise is making it difficult to do his calls. One is a pre schooler and the other we think might be home at the moment because school bubble has burst. Obviously he is used to general neighbour noise during day, but he finds the screaming and shouting difficult as it’s right next to our fence. He’s using noise cancelling headphones for calls, but even with those it’s getting through and making it hard for him to concentrate and hear what’s being said.

Would he BU to ask them if they could keep the kids off the trampoline during his work hours or confine it to lunch time during the week? He has an hour break where he’d be fine with them using it, he normally goes out to walk the dog. They’re very nice neighbours and we’ve never had any issues, but he’s afraid to rock the boat.

OP posts:

StrongArm · 15/07/2021 08:06

no you can't tell them not to make noise! it's a residential area. You could have builders next door making noise from 8am to 6pm

I'm back in the office now. Aircon, no builders next door, nice and peaceful! If your husband has an office he could go to, I would gently tell him to consider it if noise is a big problem for him!

TheWitchCirce · 15/07/2021 08:06

You cannot impose limits on children playing in their own garden during the day. You are not asking for a compromise - what compromise would your DH be making?

My neighbours' building work is driving me INSANE but they are entitled to have work done on their house. I have had to utilise cafes and libraries for my non zoom work. I did speak to them when it became all day on Saturday too when the council have a 1pm cut off and they have kept to that since.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 15/07/2021 08:07

YABU 100%

I'm not a vindictive person but if you tried to control what my kids do in their garden during the day I'd make sure you regretted it.

NotDonna · 15/07/2021 08:07

Noise cancelling headphones Bluetoothed to his computer? Or return to the office?

ThirdElephant · 15/07/2021 08:08

I think it'd be OK to explain the situation to their parents and see if they'll agree to curtail the screaming. Kids can play without screaming. When I was a kid my parents would caution me if I was at risk of disturbing the neighbours- nothing ring with developing consideration for others at an early age.

Remind him to use, 'I' and never 'you'. So, he might say, 'I'm sorry to bother you with this, but I'm having real difficulty concentrating on my work at home since the trampoline arrived because of the noise. I've got noise cancelling headphones but they only do so much. I appreciate that it's normal for kids to play and it's lovely they're having fun, but I wondered if there's a way to bring the volume down a bit?'

Marmitemarinaded · 15/07/2021 08:08

Are you attached to the property OP or detached?

stellaisabella · 15/07/2021 08:08

Only on mumsnet do people have "shrieking" children - maybe these people live next door to banshees?

Children make noise. They are in their own garden. It's not early in the morning. They are more than entitled to use their trampoline and play - if you knocked on my door I would tell you where to go. Absolutely ridiculous.

chaosrabbitland · 15/07/2021 08:08

i would say no he cant ask , its not their problem he works from home , and expecting them to keep the kids in except for only one hour a day is ludicrous .

MaMaD1990 · 15/07/2021 08:09

Instead of trying to control when the kids can go out and play, can he not just ask the parents to try and keep the noise down a bit (I.e. the screaming) whilst he's working? That's not to say they can't make a peep but keeping the screaming to a minimum? I wouldn't have an issue with this if I were your neighbour.

ichundich · 15/07/2021 08:09

YABU unfortunately. Can your husband wear a headset for Zoom calls and noise cancelling headphones for the rest of the time?

Farwest · 15/07/2021 08:09

Why can't he use your study space if you have now gone back to work outside the home? (I may have misunderstood your set-up!)

Your neighbours are not at fault here. If your dh cannot hear b/c your home is too noisy, then he needs to find a solution that does not involve appealing to the neighbours.

Can he go into an office? If he cannot work from home due to noise, he needs to sort out an alternative with his work.

RestingPandaFace · 15/07/2021 08:10

If this was about anything other than WFh you would have got very different responses.

It doesn’t matter what the neighbours are doing in their home, if your kids are shrieking and screaming you need to bring them in until they learn to calm down.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 15/07/2021 08:10

I live in a little flat, but if I moved to the front room and had my back windows and doors shut, and noise cancelling headphones in, I couldn't hear people screaming in the back garden. I think he's exaggerating.

HappydaysArehere · 15/07/2021 08:10

Anyway the trampoline is new and they are using it a lot but in my experience the novelty wears off a bit after awhile. So probably will use it more intermittently. Is there no way to move his work place to the other side of the house?

thelastgoldeneagle · 15/07/2021 08:10

Screaming next door is really annoying. I'd ask them to quieten down a bit, but not to keep off it...

Can your dh work in a room that's further away from the garden?

TheKeatingFive · 15/07/2021 08:11

literally no part of this scenario is your neighbour’s problem.

This

warmfluffytowels · 15/07/2021 08:11

He absolutely can't ask that.

This is the issue with many people working from home - they expect an office environment but it's not - it's a residential area and people are entitled to go about their lives as normal.

He's just going to have to get used to it, or he can go back to the office, or investigate the possibility of hiring an office space or using the local library for the summer.

GCrebel · 15/07/2021 08:11

He has a headset. Even with the headset it’s interfering. It is very loud and high pitched

I used noise cancelling headphones when DD was learning remotely over teams last year and the noise carried through from her room to mine. It meant I could continue to work in my room & engage appropriately in meetings without the distraction of year 7 geography.

allyouneedisconnection · 15/07/2021 08:12

@RosesAndHellebores

Could he ask his employer to carry out a personal risk assessment, possibly with occupational health involvement as his lack of hearing is likely to be covered by the Equality Act, that underpins his return to the office due to difficulties of working in a sub optimal home environment?

And no, you can't ask the neighbours to stop using the trampoline. I agree with previous posters about children kerning to use space sensibly and respect others but clearly the parents in this case don't adhere to that and the conversation will probably go badly. Can see the MNet thread appearing now.

Great reply. I agree speaking to his employer first and foremost.

clpsmum · 15/07/2021 08:12

@Shehasadiamondinthesky children enjoying playing on a trampoline in their own garden are not savages. Not everyone has parks close to them and those that do are not always able to take them especially not to accommodated a grump neighbour that is using his home as a workplace

thelastgoldeneagle · 15/07/2021 08:12

@name6785

Does he not have a headset for the zoom calls? I can't imagine he would hear that much with windows closed and headset on.

Didn't you read the post? Op's h is hearing impaired and already uses noise-cancelling headphones 🙄

LoopyGremlin · 15/07/2021 08:13

Would you prefer that they did it during the night?! When would you propose they could use it if they can’t use it during working hours? YABVU

Crowsandshivers · 15/07/2021 08:13

To add to your other post. There is no compromise to be had. They are allowed to make noise in their gardens and if your dh can't even cope with you making a coffee then it sounds like it is more likely his low tolerance. People are allowed back in the offices from Monday so there is no more 'coping in these current times.' He can now go back to a normal day in the office. The kids will be on summer holidays. That happens every year so this noise is going to be of 'normal times.'

mafsfan · 15/07/2021 08:14

Can your DH not ask to return to the office, even for part of the week?

Clymene · 15/07/2021 08:15

Of course there is another room that he can work in. There may not be another room he wants to work in but that's not the same thing. School holidays are about to start, it will get noisier.

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