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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask neighbours to keep kids off trampoline in working hours?

600 replies

PineappleMojito · 15/07/2021 07:24

Not really for me, for my DP who is WFH. I don’t WFH so this doesn’t impact but he is very bothered by it.

Next door recently bought a trampoline for their two kids. When they go on it, they’re really noisy - they scream and shout a lot, I’ve heard them on the weekends when I’m home and it is loud. DP is hearing impaired, he’s on work Zoom calls during the day and the noise is making it difficult to do his calls. One is a pre schooler and the other we think might be home at the moment because school bubble has burst. Obviously he is used to general neighbour noise during day, but he finds the screaming and shouting difficult as it’s right next to our fence. He’s using noise cancelling headphones for calls, but even with those it’s getting through and making it hard for him to concentrate and hear what’s being said.

Would he BU to ask them if they could keep the kids off the trampoline during his work hours or confine it to lunch time during the week? He has an hour break where he’d be fine with them using it, he normally goes out to walk the dog. They’re very nice neighbours and we’ve never had any issues, but he’s afraid to rock the boat.

OP posts:
Emmazebra · 15/07/2021 07:41

I sympathise hugely, but YANBU

Emmazebra · 15/07/2021 07:41

I mean YAbu

lemonjam · 15/07/2021 07:43

Reeeeeeeaally unreasonable, sorry.

princesslarmadrama · 15/07/2021 07:44

Can be work in a room at a different end of the house from the garden?

LCDIT · 15/07/2021 07:44

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I don't know why people allow their brats to shriek all day it's bloody selfish. When I was bringing up mine they had to keep the noise reasonable i.e no shrieking as we lived in a built up area in a terraced house. If they needed to let off steam and run and shout I'd take them down to the park for a few hours to get it out of their system. Otherwise they never learn to respect other peoples space and grow up to be considerate human beings. A lot of people are too lazy to take their children to the park or teach them to behave considerately, they think they and their children can behave like savages all day and to hell with anyone else.
Completely agree with this.
whenwillthemadnessend · 15/07/2021 07:46

This is why working from home is never going to work for everyone long term.

I sympathise

Farwest · 15/07/2021 07:46

Not all homes are suitable substitutes for office space. Yours isn't, for example.

Your neighbours are entirely reasonable to use their garden. Children do shout and scream on trampolines.

So your dh needs to solve his own problem.
Move his work to a quieter part of the house? Find a place outside your home to work that suits his work-needs? He may need to discuss with his employer.

HugeAckmansWife · 15/07/2021 07:47

diamond.. What if the neighbour is also working from home? Excessive screaming yes, ask to keep it down a little bit but not spending hours every day at the park isn't being lazy.. I'm sure the parents are either wfh too or doing housework etc.

Velvian · 15/07/2021 07:47

Can your DH research hearing systems that connect to laptop and headset? My colleague uses one called Roger that work funds.

Moving rooms may also make a huge difference.

Whenever my DCs start shrieking in garden I tell them to stop, which sometimes worksGrin, so I appreciate it's annoying.

If the trampoline is new, the amount of time they spend on it is likely to reduce over time.

HeadNorth · 15/07/2021 07:47

Surely it is more reasonable for your DH to work in a different room, as he is the on with the issue? Children are perfectly entitled to play in the their garden in the day time.

Raising this with your neighbours will cause bad feeling that will persist long after your DH has returned to the office/the children are bored of the trampoline/it is winter and they are no longer outside as much.

LakieLady · 15/07/2021 07:48

While this would drive me demented, even I don't think it would be reasonable.

It also makes me very glad that my immediate neighbours don't have young children.

Ozgirl75 · 15/07/2021 07:48

We’re in lockdown at the moment (Sydney) and online learning. My kids are on the trampoline at morning recess and lunch and on and off after 3.00. They need outside exercise, they enjoy it and if anyone asked them not to go on in the day I would politely refuse. Yes, they’re noisy. Lockdown sucks balls.

Sadiecow · 15/07/2021 07:51

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I don't know why people allow their brats to shriek all day it's bloody selfish. When I was bringing up mine they had to keep the noise reasonable i.e no shrieking as we lived in a built up area in a terraced house. If they needed to let off steam and run and shout I'd take them down to the park for a few hours to get it out of their system. Otherwise they never learn to respect other peoples space and grow up to be considerate human beings. A lot of people are too lazy to take their children to the park or teach them to behave considerately, they think they and their children can behave like savages all day and to hell with anyone else.
Being in a home is a normal environment for the children, being in their garden playing is normal.

It's not the children's fault the the DH is now using his home as his office, he can presumably go back to his office. In his office he will have peace and quiet because it's an office.

Your use of the word brats and expecting parents to spend hours out of their home and garden at the park shows you to be very unpleasant.

When the neighbour bought their property, they most likely saw it as a family home with garden in which their children can play in. Perfectly reasonable and not their problem to solve if someone nearby is working from home.

DancesWithTortoises · 15/07/2021 07:53

Trampolines are the work of the devil. Bought by people who hate their neighbours. The whoops and shrieks are torture.

Mochudubh · 15/07/2021 07:54

i feel your pain OP, we have screamer trampoliners a couple of doors down and it's driving us nuts. The parents don't seem to care about the noise as long as the kids are out of the house. BUT.............. it's the summer holidays, they're kids so much as it's a pain to have to shut the windows when it's 25 degrees outside we're just putting up with it.

BIoodyStupidJohnson · 15/07/2021 07:54

I voted YABU because it would definitely be unreasonable to try to dictate when they can and can’t use their own garden.

Also you need to stay out of it because it’s not your issue. You can’t fight his battles for him, he’s not six and you’re not his mum.

However, he could try a more emollient approach where he and the neighbours have a grown-up ‘this is the experience I’m having’ chat, and see where it gets him.

I have a lot of sympathy, I have a hearing impairment myself and certain noises — kids screaming is one of them — cause me physical pain.

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 15/07/2021 07:54

@HugeAckmansWife

Nope sorry. Its summer, they're kids. There are really good headphones out there.. Time to research and invest. Excessive screaming, fine, go and have a polite word, but to ask them to sit and look at their new trampoline that costs £££? No.
I agree... not unreasonable to ask them to tone it down but that's all.
Bunnycat101 · 15/07/2021 07:55

No you cannot ask them to limit it to one hour a day. I think you can ask for them to cut down the screaming though but I’m surprised it is as loud as it is inside. Are the windows open?

I do sympathise though. We live near a prep school that takes the piss with the volume of their loud speaker. A lot of the time I let it go but made two complaints about the noise last week because it was like a disco in my house with the windows shut and I couldn’t concentrate.

TheKeatingFive · 15/07/2021 07:55

A lot of people are too lazy to take their children to the park or teach them to behave considerately, they think they and their children can behave like savages all day and to hell with anyone else.

Behave yourself. They’re playing in their own garden. It’s what children do. Hmm

Ozgirl75 · 15/07/2021 07:55

Lol. I don’t hate my neighbours. I just accept that in a suburban area we have to accept that there is some noise. I put up with one neighbour talking loudly on the phone in Polish, and her barking dog. She can cope with some whoops and shrieks.

ForeverSinging · 15/07/2021 07:56

You can't ask them not to play out but you could definitely ask that they're not left just to scream constantly.

Guavaf1sh · 15/07/2021 07:56

If it’s not too late at night then YABU

Original poster
PineappleMojito · 15/07/2021 07:56

He has a headset. Even with the headset it’s interfering. It is very loud and high pitched, so I understand why it’s bothering him. He can’t move rooms either, there’s nowhere in the house suitable for work.

It seems he would be being unreasonable if he asked them not to use it at all. How much consideration would you say neighbours should have for others who WFH during these times? I’ve had to WFH very little, only for a very short period in lockdown 1, so I don’t really know what’s reasonable and not with regards to that. I know my mum had an issue with the neighbour kids playing out and screaming a lot and she did have a quiet word with the parents, she got verbal abuse from them which did upset her but the screaming did reduce a lot after that, particularly during the day when people are working. Maybe parents can kind of tune out the noise and they don’t realise how loud it is/how much it carries? I do think DP is quite noise sensitive in general as well. He gets irritated if our dog barks too much (at normal things dogs bark at, he’s not barking all day or anything). I hated the brief period we WFH together (maybe 6 weeks) because he worked in the kitchen while I had the study space (confidentiality) and I couldn’t even go get a coffee without him moaning about being disturbed. So I know he can be oversensitive, but the next door screaming in the garden can go on for HOURS at a time, and I also would find that difficult if I was trying to work.

Where’s the compromise position here do you think? Talk to them about the noise levels and ask if they could keep the screaming to a minimum?

OP posts:
Pottedpalm · 15/07/2021 07:56

@longwayoff

Send hubbikins to the library, school holidays from Friday. 6 weeks of joy for you and Mr CF.
Nasty. OP I sympathise; hopefully interest in the trampoline will wane. Nearby children rarely use theirs now.
RosesAndHellebores · 15/07/2021 07:56

Could he ask his employer to carry out a personal risk assessment, possibly with occupational health involvement as his lack of hearing is likely to be covered by the Equality Act, that underpins his return to the office due to difficulties of working in a sub optimal home environment?

And no, you can't ask the neighbours to stop using the trampoline. I agree with previous posters about children kerning to use space sensibly and respect others but clearly the parents in this case don't adhere to that and the conversation will probably go badly. Can see the MNet thread appearing now.

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