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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask neighbours to keep kids off trampoline in working hours?

600 replies

PineappleMojito · 15/07/2021 07:24

Not really for me, for my DP who is WFH. I don’t WFH so this doesn’t impact but he is very bothered by it.

Next door recently bought a trampoline for their two kids. When they go on it, they’re really noisy - they scream and shout a lot, I’ve heard them on the weekends when I’m home and it is loud. DP is hearing impaired, he’s on work Zoom calls during the day and the noise is making it difficult to do his calls. One is a pre schooler and the other we think might be home at the moment because school bubble has burst. Obviously he is used to general neighbour noise during day, but he finds the screaming and shouting difficult as it’s right next to our fence. He’s using noise cancelling headphones for calls, but even with those it’s getting through and making it hard for him to concentrate and hear what’s being said.

Would he BU to ask them if they could keep the kids off the trampoline during his work hours or confine it to lunch time during the week? He has an hour break where he’d be fine with them using it, he normally goes out to walk the dog. They’re very nice neighbours and we’ve never had any issues, but he’s afraid to rock the boat.

OP posts:
wasthataburp · 15/07/2021 07:57

Haha

RestingPandaFace · 15/07/2021 07:58

YWBU to ask them not to use the trampoline. But YWNBU to ask them to tone down the screaming and shrieking.

We and none of our friends were allowed to scream and shout in the garden, and my DS and most on our street aren’t allowed to scream and shout. There are some kids (2 households) who make an absolute racket, it’s inconsiderate and anti-social.

Ozgirl75 · 15/07/2021 07:59

I honestly think people just need to deal with the fact that if you have neighbours, you’ll hear them.
My husband has been working from home for ages and wouldn’t dream of asking a neighbour to be quiet in their own home.
If someone asked our children to be quiet in their own garden I would think they were a lunatic, politely smile and ignore them.

cauliflowerkorma · 15/07/2021 07:59

I empathise as my next doors are home schooled and ALWAYS in the garden and the noise is utterly endless.

I have talked to them about noise but that was to do with early morning noise at weekends. And they have reacted appropriately on that. With the homeschooling and outdoorsyness i do wonder why those chose a house with close neighbours. But i can't control what they do and decided to tackle one specific issue.

As for the other times of the day. I shut the window and try not to obsess and fixate about it.

reluctantbrit · 15/07/2021 07:59

Sorry, but that is ridiculous. I managed to work with a toddler and Infant school age child next door to us since March last year. What are they supposed to be doing, muffle the children? Our neighbours invested in garden toys and the boys are out most hours unless the older one is at school.

Offices are starting to re-open, maybe your DH needs to consider going back, at least partly. If that's not possible than he needs to find a different solution for wfh.

ScaryHairyMcClary · 15/07/2021 07:59

Yes, you can definitely ask if they can tone down the screaming a bit. Also could they move the trampoline away from the fence?

Cheerio21 · 15/07/2021 08:00

Compromise if DH going back to the office tbh.

It's summer, ones bubble has burst you can't keep children indoors all day to suit your neighbours.

For how long everyone has WFH for now there's no way you can get away from noise tbh.

I would pick your battles with neighbours

Dentistlakes · 15/07/2021 08:00

Unfortunately I don’t think you will get very far. If they let their kids scream with no thought for their neighbours then they are unlikely to respond positively when asked to keep it down. I would try moving to another room in the house during calls. Hopefully it will just be for the summer and then they’ve back on school.

MarianneUnfaithful · 15/07/2021 08:00

Blimey!

I had no idea it was change differed completely acceptable to allow your kids to shriek and shout at full volume in the garden all day every day!

Noise is a disturbance to other people and inconsiderate if it goes on all day every day.

I bet the answer would be different if the kids were playing drum kits.

Darbs76 · 15/07/2021 08:01

It’s completely unreasonable to ask this. Can your husband return to the office. We have a handful of staff back in for reasons like this. That’s the best solution. Unfortunately you have to put up with daytime noise when working at home.

x2boys · 15/07/2021 08:01

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I don't know why people allow their brats to shriek all day it's bloody selfish. When I was bringing up mine they had to keep the noise reasonable i.e no shrieking as we lived in a built up area in a terraced house. If they needed to let off steam and run and shout I'd take them down to the park for a few hours to get it out of their system. Otherwise they never learn to respect other peoples space and grow up to be considerate human beings. A lot of people are too lazy to take their children to the park or teach them to behave considerately, they think they and their children can behave like savages all day and to hell with anyone else.
And back in the real world unless you live in isolation miles from anyone you just have to learn to rub along together with neighbours, my neighbour has a voice like foghorn, leghorn and he insists on talking loudly in the garden but I can no more ask him to keep his voice down, then him asking me not to allow my non verbal child to shout in the back garden it's called being a community.
Original poster
PineappleMojito · 15/07/2021 08:02

Also you need to stay out of it because it’s not your issue. You can’t fight his battles for him, he’s not six and you’re not his mum

No intention of getting involved. If he decides to say anything to them he’ll be dealing with it.

OP posts:
DGFB · 15/07/2021 08:02

No you can’t ask them, they can do what they like in their garden and jumping on a trampoline is not unreasonable.
Your DH either needs to go back to the office, find another room or rent a space in town

Birkie248 · 15/07/2021 08:02

I sympathise, as I’m someone who is dealing with 5 weeks (so far) of building noise from next door whilst wfh but you really can’t ask them to not play out, in daytime, in summer.
I’m thinking if The noise here escalated again I’m going to ask to go back to the office, as I really can’t stand it. I’m well aware that I’m in a residential area so I’d be unreasonable to complain to the neighbours.

GCrebel · 15/07/2021 08:02

If it bothers him, he should change his behaviour.

Children don’t have to change their behaviour because a man is at work.

But, i’ve a feeling that isn’t about the children at all. Can I ask why you started this thread, OP? If his behaviour towards you becoming a problem - and I’m very sorry if it is - he is still the problem. Don’t walk on eggshells around him or expect everyone else to bend to his will.

PTW1234 · 15/07/2021 08:02

I work from home too, I have DS off due to isolation: I wouldn’t be able to work if he wasn’t on the trampoline!

RobinPenguins · 15/07/2021 08:03

I can see how that’s annoying but no you absolutely cannot ask them to do that, especially if they’re stuck at home with an isolating toddler which is frankly hell on earth. Your DH is going to have to suck it up and work from another room and/or use a headset.

Regularchoice · 15/07/2021 08:03

He can’t move rooms either, there’s nowhere in the house suitable for work.
This is the problem really. As others have pointed out, a home is in a residential area, where people are entitled to live their (noisy) lives.

Schoolchoicesucks · 15/07/2021 08:03

Nope, that would be unreasonable. It's their garden, if the child is self-isolating, they can't even go to the park.

Can he move to another room when he is taking zoom calls? Or return to working from the office after 19th?

NailsNeedDoing · 15/07/2021 08:04

How much longer is your DH going to be working from home? Really, it’s the working from home that is the difference in normality here, not children playing in their own garden. It might have been reasonable when we were in lockdown to ask for a small amount of quiet time each day, but lockdown is over now and has been for a long time. People that need a quiet office environment to work should be back in their offices by now, there is no need for them to still be at home.

MrsWhites · 15/07/2021 08:04

I think the compromise is that he returns to the office (unless he works from home all the time). It’s the summer holidays, kids are entitled to have a bit of fun in the garden.

It’s very entitled to suggest that ‘he wouldn’t mind them playing on it whilst he has his hours break’. I would imagine you will get an earful if you suggest that!

Oceanos · 15/07/2021 08:04

@reluctantbrit

Sorry, but that is ridiculous. I managed to work with a toddler and Infant school age child next door to us since March last year. What are they supposed to be doing, muffle the children? Our neighbours invested in garden toys and the boys are out most hours unless the older one is at school.

Offices are starting to re-open, maybe your DH needs to consider going back, at least partly. If that's not possible than he needs to find a different solution for wfh.

Do you have hearing loss as well or did you just ignore that part of the post?
Crowsandshivers · 15/07/2021 08:05

You are out of your mind. The kids need to burn off energy. Stuff is still closed. It is the summer hols soon- you cannot expect them to only go on it after 5. Really unreasonable.

RobinPenguins · 15/07/2021 08:05

To answer another question you asked, I don’t think neighbours should be making any adjustments to normal acceptable behaviour (and a child on a trampoline during the day is completely normal and acceptable) because other people are WFH. If there’s really nowhere else suitable in the house then DH will have to take it up with his employer because literally no part of this scenario is your neighbour’s problem.

Darbs76 · 15/07/2021 08:05

I do agree with asking for screaming to be kept to a minimum though. I’ve always been considerate of neighbours when mine were little and brought them in if they were overly loud. I think that would be reasonable to ask to keep it to a minimum but asking them not to go on trampoline apart from your husbands required set hours he thinks it’s reasonable - no way