AIBU to ask neighbours to keep kids off trampoline in working hours?

[PineappleMojito]

Not really for me, for my DP who is WFH. I don’t WFH so this doesn’t impact but he is very bothered by it.

Next door recently bought a trampoline for their two kids. When they go on it, they’re really noisy - they scream and shout a lot, I’ve heard them on the weekends when I’m home and it is loud. DP is hearing impaired, he’s on work Zoom calls during the day and the noise is making it difficult to do his calls. One is a pre schooler and the other we think might be home at the moment because school bubble has burst. Obviously he is used to general neighbour noise during day, but he finds the screaming and shouting difficult as it’s right next to our fence. He’s using noise cancelling headphones for calls, but even with those it’s getting through and making it hard for him to concentrate and hear what’s being said.

Would he BU to ask them if they could keep the kids off the trampoline during his work hours or confine it to lunch time during the week? He has an hour break where he’d be fine with them using it, he normally goes out to walk the dog. They’re very nice neighbours and we’ve never had any issues, but he’s afraid to rock the boat.

@m0therofdragons

Parenting inn the 80s was my mum telling us to go outside and us playing. I really don’t think we can suggest dc were quieter in those days - I remember waterfights all summer and that definitely included screaming. The difference was people lived at home and gardens were for playing and people went to the office for work. If your home setting isn’t appropriate for work then can Dh ask to return to the office?

I dunno, I can remember those days and although there was screaming, I don't think it was as constant or as full-on as the screaming kids seem to do in their gardens these days.

Summer holidays next week op. Do you expect the neighbours kids to keep off the trampoline for 6 weeks?

@cookiecreampie

Yabu. It's the summer holidays soon so expect for it to get worse.

Why do you have to say stuff like that? The OP will already be aware of this without you "kindly" reminding her.

I highly doubt they are screaming, or on the trampoline, ALL DAY (or even during working hours, what 9 hours a day? )

Your DH needs to get back into the office. It's for his work to deal with, not your neighbours living their lives.

The trampoline is new and very exciting at the moment, it will wear off, if you were going to speak to the neighbours, it would be to ask that the children don't scream whilst using the trampoline, but you couldn't ask them not to use it.

You could do this politely and just highlight that its causing your husband who is hearing impaired (which I assume they know?) difficulties whilst working, Im sure they will be nice enough to ask the kids to keep it down?

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I don't know why people allow their brats to shriek all day it's bloody selfish. When I was bringing up mine they had to keep the noise reasonable i.e no shrieking as we lived in a built up area in a terraced house. If they needed to let off steam and run and shout I'd take them down to the park for a few hours to get it out of their system. Otherwise they never learn to respect other peoples space and grow up to be considerate human beings. A lot of people are too lazy to take their children to the park or teach them to behave considerately, they think they and their children can behave like savages all day and to hell with anyone else.

They are not brats for having fun and being loud. That's what kids do ffs.

A lot of people are too lazy to take their children to the park or teach them to behave considerately, they think they and their children can behave like savages all day and to hell with anyone else.

I honestly don't see this in my area. Where do you live that the children behave like savages? Children around here have their moments like all children but are lovely on the whole and their parents quickly step in to stop them bothering others or to check misbehaviour. And most children go to the park or playground almost every day.

"Being in a home is a normal environment for the children, being in their garden playing is normal."

They can play without incessant ear-piercing screaming and shrieking though surely.

I think you can have a word to see if they can get the kids to turn the volume down, but you can’t specify hours when they can use it. It’s a risk you take when you live near other people. Your husband will have to try and find a place in the house where the noise is manageable.

@BorisKilledMyHusband

What’s wrong with you all? Kids can play without high pitched screaming surely?

Of course they can. Mine did, I wouldn't be able to listen to it all day but what other people's kids do is up to them. You really can't police what kids do in their own gardens. When you move into a highly populated area you know that there is bound to be some noise coming from somewhere at some point, that is just the way it is.

I don't understand why it's acceptable for children to scream constantly whilst playing?

In the 80s I played out in the street all day with the other kids from the neighborhood, but we weren't allowed to constantly scream and shout. We were told that was rude.

I don't think it is your neighbours duty to take into consideration your husband works from home. That isn't their problem and suggesting they don't use the trampoline between the hours of 9-5pm is frankly, outrageous! I can't believe your husband can't see that.

I've worked all over my very small flat to deal with construction noise over the last 18 months including my bedroom. If it is that big a deal, get him to move.

@RestingPandaFace

Yup. I could start a whole thread about it.

So we’ve lived here for over 10 years. It’s 8 house. All the same neighbours. My garden is tiny. North facing. Cold. Dark.

So I used to sit out the front on a private road. A no through road. Kids used to occasionally play out there with me. Whilst I read a book. Never ball games. I spoke with every single neighbour and said please. If it bothers you. Please tel me. Of course I would stop it. They don’t scream. We don’t play ball. Just occasionally they’d play pretend shops. With next door. Who had bbqs out there too. My neighbours LOVE my kids.

We got a letter stating that someone had complained. It wasn’t allowed. I wasn’t allowed to ever let me children outside again. I said what if wr walk to the shops? Or to the park? I eventually spoke with everyone.

Except for my next door neighbour. Who came to my wedding. She said she could see both sides to it

It obliterated the community spirit. We’d have yearly street parties. We’d cut off the whole street. It was great.

But since that letter came out. Everyone except this one neighbour came to my defence. We got the letter some 6 months ago. I’ve been deeply deeply hurt. Because everyone knocked on my door within the nect few days. Except one. It was Anonymous. But of course I know who now.

So my kids aren’t allowed outside. We’re allowed to the end of our drive on foot. That’s it. We can’t walk past that.

I’ve never heard of such a thing. We’re moving house now.

Hey ho.

if he doesn't like it he could always return to the office !

You absolutely cannot ask without being considered mental.

While I can sympathise with your DH, I don't think there's much you can do. If you ask them not to use the trampoline during his working hours, when can the use it? Beforehand is probably too early, afterwards too late, weekends only isn't fair. I know it's the screaming that's an issue but that seems to come as part of trampoline use- paddling pools have the same effect! It's all just part of living close to other people. (We have neighbours that constantly make that horrible throat noise to bring up phlegm, then spit it out. Makes me feel sick. Frankly if I could afford it I'd move to a house with no neighbours within hearing distance!)

I think he'd be better off looking at what he can do to make things better like moving his desk to a different room or investing in really good noise cancelling headphones.

Apparently children are allowed to scream and shriek as loudly as they want, whenever they want, regardless of other people's feelings on it. If you object in any way you're 'batshit' and 'mental' and all the other lovely things the OP and her disabled husband have been called.
This.
There is no need for children to scream and shriek to enjoy themselves and it shows lazy parenting. The fact they're on a trampoline is neither here nor there (nor is the fact that your husband works from home) - excessive non-stop noise is unacceptable but I'm not sure what you can do about it. Can you buy noise-damping screens for your side of the fence (are there such things?) or buy some large pots of bamboo which grows at an alarming rate? I'm sorry you've been shot down on here as it sounds a horrendous situation to live next to. Pray for rain?

@justasking111

Suggest he pays neighbors kids to make an amazing amount of noise when on a zoom call with employer so they agree he should be in the office. Women have juggled WFH kids, etc during covid employers need to understand the distraction factors

Haha I like this that’s the best suggestion on the thread!

It's their garden and you'd be unreasonable to ask them to stop using their trampoline during work hours. I'm surprised that the school age one doesn't have online lessons from 9-3, as DS2 did when their bubble burst.

@Billandben444

Apparently children are allowed to scream and shriek as loudly as they want, whenever they want, regardless of other people's feelings on it. If you object in any way you're 'batshit' and 'mental' and all the other lovely things the OP and her disabled husband have been called. This. There is no need for children to scream and shriek to enjoy themselves and it shows lazy parenting. The fact they're on a trampoline is neither here nor there (nor is the fact that your husband works from home) - excessive non-stop noise is unacceptable but I'm not sure what you can do about it. Can you buy noise-damping screens for your side of the fence (are there such things?) or buy some large pots of bamboo which grows at an alarming rate? I'm sorry you've been shot down on here as it sounds a horrendous situation to live next to. Pray for rain?

You know some children can’t help shrieking right ? They can’t just turn their disability’s on and off. But sure lazy parenting .

Haha I'm worried this could be my kids! I currently have 2 kids on a trampoline in the back garden as their bubble went at school. I'm working from home and its the only way to get anything done! Usually just close the door if I'm on a call.

I know I'm very late to this but I would suggest that you really can't ask neighbours to keep normal noise down especially if the kids bubble has burst - as that means they are stuck in the house with very little to do. The trampoline at this point will be a god-send to them. I think OH may have to move to the front of the house. It's not ideal to work in a room you sleep in but less not ideal than asking kids not to play. If clients hear a torrent of swearing, your OH can report that as another reason why it is a problem to be WFH.

I was interested in the dog too as I think even if your dog just barks a little, it still can drive some people nuts (me!!) but it would be unreasonable to ask you to never let your dog out and shut all windows in case it barks. I think this is much the same TBH. If you live near others you will hear some of their noise.

I'm sensitive to noise and our neighbours kids (back and to side) love playing football by whacking it against house or fence. So annoying. But I don't say anything because my kids go on the trampoline (they don't shriek... much). Your neighbours annoy you, but for all you know, your weed smoking bothers them (it would bother me and I'd be too nervous to ever say anything). You have to kind of live and let live with neighbours - to a point.

I moved to a front room where I can't hear as much. It's fine. If I was your DH I'd ask for a disability-related exception to go to the office.

I know I'm very late to this but I would suggest that you really can't ask neighbours to keep normal noise down

I guess the screaming doesn’t feel like “normal noise” because it’s escalated since they got the trampoline - the noise levels before felt “normal” - just general playing noises, laughing, the odd scream, ok kids do that. I’m not unsympathetic to the bubble bursting situation. Normally the older one is at school so it would just be the younger one playing outside with dad (he’s a SAHD). But when both siblings are together that’s when the screaming gets peak. It’s just not what we’ve been used to I guess. But maybe they’ll lose interest and it’s just the novel thing they want to do all the time right now because it’s new.

I really don’t think they’d mind if he mentioned it’s getting a bit loud - and I’m fairly thick skinned, I’ve had to be in my job! But DH is much more conflict averse/less assertive than me, and ultimately he’s the one that’s bothered and he’s the one that’s going to have to solve it one way or the other.

youngandbroken Well no actually. When I have friends around we do not swear or get drunk. We just sit having a nice conversation on a lovely summer evening. What is unsociable hours to you, may not be for others. What about those who work nights? Is it acceptable that they cannot sleep due to screaming children. The issue isn't about children playing, it is about the level of noise and respect for your neighbours. I wouldn't dream of putting on loud music, for instance, when I know next door's children are likely to be asleep. When my children were small, I always monitored their behaviour and the impact it made of those around them. I think what gets me the most is that some parents seem to think that everyone loves their children as much as they do.

Your neighbours annoy you, but for all you know, your weed smoking bothers them (it would bother me and I'd be too nervous to ever say anything)

Well you don’t ask, you don’t get in this life. I’m one of life’s fairly direct people, (probably comes from being neurodiverse I guess). If they never say it bothers them, then nothing gets done about it. And we would do things differently if someone said anything. We try to be considerate now, and it sure isn’t all day every day, but if it really did upset someone I’d really try my best to accommodate their needs.

If it bothers you and you won’t say and just seethe quietly, IMO that’s unhealthy and breeds resentment and further issues (unless of course your neighbours are known to be aggressive or something, but we are definitely far from it as are our NDNs!) That’s why I wanted to help my DP navigate this and tackle it in a timely and reasonable way (including adaptation on his side too which might be needed) rather than just seething at home and getting more and more mad about it, that’s just not productive. And if he decides to do nothing about it, then he’ll have to STFU about it in that case!