AIBU to ask neighbours to keep kids off trampoline in working hours?

[PineappleMojito]

Not really for me, for my DP who is WFH. I don’t WFH so this doesn’t impact but he is very bothered by it.

Next door recently bought a trampoline for their two kids. When they go on it, they’re really noisy - they scream and shout a lot, I’ve heard them on the weekends when I’m home and it is loud. DP is hearing impaired, he’s on work Zoom calls during the day and the noise is making it difficult to do his calls. One is a pre schooler and the other we think might be home at the moment because school bubble has burst. Obviously he is used to general neighbour noise during day, but he finds the screaming and shouting difficult as it’s right next to our fence. He’s using noise cancelling headphones for calls, but even with those it’s getting through and making it hard for him to concentrate and hear what’s being said.

Would he BU to ask them if they could keep the kids off the trampoline during his work hours or confine it to lunch time during the week? He has an hour break where he’d be fine with them using it, he normally goes out to walk the dog. They’re very nice neighbours and we’ve never had any issues, but he’s afraid to rock the boat.

I think yabu to ask them to not let kids scream on the trampoline, however I do sympathise. None of my immediate neighbours have young dc. I only have one dc but when they have friends over (5 or 6 girls) who on occasions can scream very loudly, I nip it in the bud quickly. There's no need really but it's up to your neighbour if they want to manage it.

Sorry OP but your suggestion of raising it with the neighbours is 100% not a compromise. It is likely to make the parents feel bad unnecessarily. Your husband shouldn’t even be raising it with them until he has taken reasonable steps himself to address the problem (moving rooms/ speaking to his employer). If your neighbours are decent people they will feel embarrassed and probably self conscious about every little noise their kids make in the garden, for no good reason.

Haven’t RTFT but see if you can get a better pair of noise cancelling headphones - which his work should pay for! I have some which I literally cannot hear DH through even if he’s stood behind me shouting my name.

This is why there have traditionally been things called offices. Kids still get to live their lives even though your husband is working at home.

What’s wrong with you all? Kids can play without high pitched screaming surely?

Just pray for rain.

Parenting has changed in the last generation. God forbid children are taught to play nicely without the screaming. It's so fucking irritating, but the 'parents' just tune it out it seems.

I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old and the garden is part of their home, no way would I tell them they can't play in it for 7 hours of the day, they're young children and need to blow off steam! YABVU

@Heronwatcher

Sorry OP but your suggestion of raising it with the neighbours is 100% not a compromise. It is likely to make the parents feel bad unnecessarily. Your husband shouldn’t even be raising it with them until he has taken reasonable steps himself to address the problem (moving rooms/ speaking to his employer). If your neighbours are decent people they will feel embarrassed and probably self conscious about every little noise their kids make in the garden, for no good reason.

Easy way not to feel bad, or embarrassed, or self-conscious, just tell your kids to stop fucking screaming. I would feel all of those things if my kids were making a continual racket that could be heard in other peoples homes.

There are mechanisms for dealing with anti social noise.

Every single poster on this thread knows that if you called the council out to investigate, they’d tell you it was normal residential noise and deal with it.

This is your husband (and his employers) issue to solve. If wfh isn’t working, find another solution.

@theemmadilemma

Ahh Op committed the cardinal sin of smoking weed. FFS. It's nothing to do with the question.

OP - it's unfortunate that for your DP his hearing is making this much more difficult. I don't think you'd be out of order to ask if they can try and keep the screaming to a minimum, but you can't ask them not to use it or dictate when they can. I WFH full time and that's just part of the situation you have to take into account when you do, that neighbour noise may be an issue.

She's committed the cardinal sin of hypocrisy...

Yes very unreasonable. To ask neighbours to limit their kids for your husbands work is crazy.

He either needs to accept it or move rooms.

Parenting inn the 80s was my mum telling us to go outside and us playing. I really don’t think we can suggest dc were quieter in those days - I remember waterfights all summer and that definitely included screaming. The difference was people lived at home and gardens were for playing and people went to the office for work. If your home setting isn’t appropriate for work then can Dh ask to return to the office?

Yabu. It's the summer holidays soon so expect for it to get worse.

Suggest he pays neighbors kids to make an amazing amount of noise when on a zoom call with employer so they agree he should be in the office. Women have juggled WFH kids, etc during covid employers need to understand the distraction factors

I don't think it would be reasonable to mention it to the parents. Kids making noise in their own garden on a summer day shocker!

We bought our kids a trampoline during the first lockdown as they were going stir crazy with no school, no sports, no activities etc. Our (childless) neighbours next door sent me a horrible shitty text within hours complaining about it, saying it was ruining his life etc. I was super-stressed at the time trying to work and manage 3 kids to massively told him what I thought. Result is that we never spoke to them again and, whereas I would have tried to be super considerate, I now just let them do what they want.

@BorisKilledMyHusband

What’s wrong with you all? Kids can play without high pitched screaming surely?

Apparently not...!

This thread has made me so grateful that there are zero kids in the vicinity of my house! The screaming in the video posted above would drive me completely nuts, Why don't parents tell them to shut up and have some respect for neighbours?

You have my sympathy OP - I live next door to a lovely family with 3 young children and a trampoline. The little one (3) screams constantly. They perch on the top of the trampoline and look into my living room. It is a nuisance at times - yes they are allowed to play in their own garden but I am also allowed to enjoy my garden without constant screaming. I would never say anything to them though as we get on well. To all those who are saying that they are just children enjoying themselves, does that also apply to adults who enjoy their garden with others in the evening when the neighbour's children are in bed?

You can get excellent noise cancelling headphones and not only this there are applications available which track the movement of your mouth on the webcam. They use computational analysis to remove all other noise so other people on the call wouldn't necessarily hear the kids.

Good point parents complain that baby cannot sleep because neighbors are outside in the evening. Live and let live I say

I think your dh should ask them to play on the their trampoline when he is out walking the dog during his lunch break. Let us know how that one goes . BTW would you also like customers to be kicked out of a restaurant because they have got a cough?

Yabu.
You are aware the summer holidays are starting next week?
They may be on the trampoline all day & have friends around too, he may need to prepare for it to get noisier…
Can’t he go back to the office?
In the long term if it’s really irritating him you could plan to move house but that’s a long term solution rather than short term…

@Letthefunandgamesstart the difference is that the children are making noise during the daytime, whereas the adults who tend to make alot of noise during unsociable hours in my experience are usually shouting, swearing, drunk and more likely to be violent or aggressive and tend to carry on for a very long time and so are a much bigger problem than children playing during the day.

I can't believe this is a serious question.