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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask neighbours to keep kids off trampoline in working hours?

600 replies

PineappleMojito · 15/07/2021 07:24

Not really for me, for my DP who is WFH. I don’t WFH so this doesn’t impact but he is very bothered by it.

Next door recently bought a trampoline for their two kids. When they go on it, they’re really noisy - they scream and shout a lot, I’ve heard them on the weekends when I’m home and it is loud. DP is hearing impaired, he’s on work Zoom calls during the day and the noise is making it difficult to do his calls. One is a pre schooler and the other we think might be home at the moment because school bubble has burst. Obviously he is used to general neighbour noise during day, but he finds the screaming and shouting difficult as it’s right next to our fence. He’s using noise cancelling headphones for calls, but even with those it’s getting through and making it hard for him to concentrate and hear what’s being said.

Would he BU to ask them if they could keep the kids off the trampoline during his work hours or confine it to lunch time during the week? He has an hour break where he’d be fine with them using it, he normally goes out to walk the dog. They’re very nice neighbours and we’ve never had any issues, but he’s afraid to rock the boat.

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 15/07/2021 12:10

Houses are homes not offices. YABU.

Aloethere · 15/07/2021 12:13

My dh is hearing impaired and working from home at the moment. Sometimes our neighbours do loud shit and there is a playschool 3 doors down which can get loud when they are all screaming outside, it is annoying and he does struggle sometimes. We would never dream of asking the neighbours to stop doing normal everyday things because of it though. A really good noise-cancelling headset is about all you can do.

He is actually at the audiologist right now too for a check-up and to see if his hearing aids need adjusting.

You can't control other people, all you can do is work on the things that are in your control.

NamechangedGamechanged12 · 15/07/2021 12:13

Noise cancellation headsets.

TheKeatingFive · 15/07/2021 12:14

That seems a reasonable compromise.

How is that a compromise. It’s just pushing his own working conditions issues onto someone else because he refuses to move room or table a conversation with his boss.

isitsummertimeyet · 15/07/2021 12:17

Id tell you to gtfo here if you come to ask if I can stop my kids from enjoying themselves in their own garden. After the last months you really expect kids to sit quietly in their home whilst your husband works in peace.. stop being entitled if he doesn't like it return to the office or work from a library.. has to be a wind up post surely.

thecognoscenti · 15/07/2021 12:21

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I don't know why people allow their brats to shriek all day it's bloody selfish. When I was bringing up mine they had to keep the noise reasonable i.e no shrieking as we lived in a built up area in a terraced house. If they needed to let off steam and run and shout I'd take them down to the park for a few hours to get it out of their system. Otherwise they never learn to respect other peoples space and grow up to be considerate human beings. A lot of people are too lazy to take their children to the park or teach them to behave considerately, they think they and their children can behave like savages all day and to hell with anyone else.

This. Apparently children are allowed to scream and shriek as loudly as they want, whenever they want, regardless of other people's feelings on it. If you object in any way you're 'batshit' and 'mental' and all the other lovely things the OP and her disabled husband have been called.

RainbowChameleon · 15/07/2021 12:22

I totally sympathise. I live next door to a family with three noisy children. However, YABU.

NotMyCat · 15/07/2021 12:25

I've posted this before but was told it never happened (it did) where I lived next door to a child who was constantly shrieking and screaming
She did it for so long one day that me and a neighbour both opened our doors at the same time, too late, to see her falling out a window

I'm not talking children playing noise.., I'm on about screaming. If your child is in the back garden playing and screams all day, if they fall over and break their leg or someone tried to snatch them, how the hell would you know?!
Imagine jumping in a cold pool type screams, that type of noise
I don't even look now if I hear them, I wouldn't have a clue if they needed help

thecognoscenti · 15/07/2021 12:25

Sorry OP that some people have been such complete arseholes to you on this thread. Any possible infringement on their children's behaviour is the end of the world it seems. Children can and should be taught to be considerate of others in their vicinity.

Gentleness · 15/07/2021 12:27

Sadly @BoaCunstrictor, that's exactly what I did. He is not a sociable man. I told him he was being rude but he was beside himself so there was no point in continuing the conversation. Fortunately his wife is lovely and I would hope she talked to him about threatening children. We are moving house soon, so I want to keep a fake peace going...

Jumpingintosummer · 15/07/2021 12:28

I sympathise, however children do make noise and this is why wfh won’t work for everyone.

bigbluebus · 15/07/2021 12:28

I can sympathise as I have a neighbour with children who scream constantly when they're in the garden - and they're not even on the trampoline (that seems to be ornamental now!). Add to that a Mother who screams at them every 5 minutes and who plays loud music and sings along out of tune. They just don't seem to realise that outdoors everything can be heard by everyone else.
You can't expect them not to use the garden all day. Your DH needs to tell his employer that his WFH conditions are no longer appropriate with the school holidays starting and he needs to go back to the office.

BoaCunstrictor · 15/07/2021 12:32

@TheKeatingFive

That seems a reasonable compromise.

How is that a compromise. It’s just pushing his own working conditions issues onto someone else because he refuses to move room or table a conversation with his boss.

Yup. The problem is your DPs to solve. At minimum, he needs to move into the bedroom.

Nocutenamesleft · 15/07/2021 12:35

I think it would be strange to ask this

However. We’ve just been told my children can’t ever play outside. So it seems to be the thing to do.

I consulted a lawyer when we got our letter. In fact I consulted 2! Who both said no way. Can’t happen. But it’s incredibly painful to hear it.

RestingPandaFace · 15/07/2021 12:37

@Nocutenamesleft

I think it would be strange to ask this

However. We’ve just been told my children can’t ever play outside. So it seems to be the thing to do.

I consulted a lawyer when we got our letter. In fact I consulted 2! Who both said no way. Can’t happen. But it’s incredibly painful to hear it.

You got a letter from your neighbours trying to stop your children playing outside? That’s utter batshittery!

Chloemol · 15/07/2021 12:39

I think he can ask them to keep the noise down, he can’t stop them from using it

bluebeck · 15/07/2021 12:39

Your DH obviously doesn't have noise cancelling headphones on if he can hear the kids in the next garden.

He should return them and buy some that work.

VVU to ask neighbours not to allow their DC to play in the garden.

LalalalalalaLand123 · 15/07/2021 12:40

That seems a reasonable compromise.

It's not a compromise at all! They are entitled to play on their trampoline, it's their home in the middle of the day - your DH is not entitled to office-levels of quietness in a residential area in the middle of the day! For that, he needs to go to an office. You are being so unreasonable and entitled, yet you double-down. Your poor neighbours.

LalalalalalaLand123 · 15/07/2021 12:40

Oops I mean to italicise 'not', not cross it out lol

Marmitemarinaded · 15/07/2021 12:41

Op you live in a rough area as you say
You have to put up with stuff from this neighbour and others

But you, your partner and these neighbours used to smoke weed all together. That can’t have been pleasant for YOUR neighbours.

Shrug. You can’t pick and choose what you think is unreasonable if a group of you smoke in a confined housing area. The smell WILL travel. Trust me.

Snuggleworm · 15/07/2021 12:42

Oh I completely understand how your husband feesl OP.
We have lovely neighbours, really lovely. But their kids scream a lot. Bash each other up too so there is a lot of screaming and crying. I was at my wits end a while ago as I attend a lot of zoom meetings with my job and I had colleagues ask me what the noise was and no matter whre I brought my laptop in the house you could hear them. I also have to keep all my windows closed at all times.Also every time their 2 year old had a tantrum they would put her outside the back door until she calmed down. I am sure this is the correct thing to do but not for our poor eardrums as it often still carried on for a while and believe me she has had some tantrums :)
I understand though that it is their own back garden and they are entitled to be in it for as long as they want and YABU for even thinking that you can ask them to stop playing on their trampoline.
We even considered moving house TBH until I started HRT and now whilst they still scream and are annoyingly loud ( their tree house faces in to my garden) the edge has been taken of a bit and I find it doesnt annoy me as much. They are only children and always remember there are never any bad children, just bad parenting.
It is a difficult situaton to be in as none of this is normal. WFH would never have been a thing, kids spending all day in their garden was never a thing either. They would be at creche or nurselry or play dates.
But yeh, I completely get how your husband feels, it is uncomfortable at best and ear piercingly awful at worst and yes, parents should not let their kids shreik and scream ALL day.

BlankTimes · 15/07/2021 12:43

Sorry, only read all OP's posts, not RTFT but could you look at a different type of glazing for your window in his study?

Triple glazing at least or any specialist sound-deadening type?

grapewine · 15/07/2021 12:44

@Alwayswonderedwhy

I think it's fine to ask them to stop screaming. They can use the trampoline but the screaming is unnecessary.

Agree. The screaming would annoy me. There's no reason their parents can't tell them to calm down a bit.

Nocutenamesleft · 15/07/2021 12:44

@SimonJT

I’m very deaf. Add a mask in (which means I can’t read lips). Add a screen in. I can’t hear a bloody thing!

To been a nightmare for deaf people. With background noise. For sure.

NotMyCat · 15/07/2021 12:46

Example noise. Now imagine this ALL DAY if you're trying to work/watch TV/do anything
And you can't move away from it because it's one level

https://youtube.com/shorts/hrUevm4HISU?feature=share

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