AIBU to ask neighbours to keep kids off trampoline in working hours?

[PineappleMojito]

Not really for me, for my DP who is WFH. I don’t WFH so this doesn’t impact but he is very bothered by it.

Next door recently bought a trampoline for their two kids. When they go on it, they’re really noisy - they scream and shout a lot, I’ve heard them on the weekends when I’m home and it is loud. DP is hearing impaired, he’s on work Zoom calls during the day and the noise is making it difficult to do his calls. One is a pre schooler and the other we think might be home at the moment because school bubble has burst. Obviously he is used to general neighbour noise during day, but he finds the screaming and shouting difficult as it’s right next to our fence. He’s using noise cancelling headphones for calls, but even with those it’s getting through and making it hard for him to concentrate and hear what’s being said.

Would he BU to ask them if they could keep the kids off the trampoline during his work hours or confine it to lunch time during the week? He has an hour break where he’d be fine with them using it, he normally goes out to walk the dog. They’re very nice neighbours and we’ve never had any issues, but he’s afraid to rock the boat.

He either works in the bedroom, rents a desk in a co working space or tells his employer he is not adequately able to work from home anymore.

Trampolines are noise inducing, my kids are now allowed to shriek on theirs (or shriek full stop) but you can't ask them to restrict access to their garden.

Our neighbour's kid has a range of SEN and he shrieks and makes all sorts of noises on his trampoline. I WFH. There is no way I am going to tell his mum the kid can't play on it FFS. WFH is not an office, you can' t control other people in their own space.

Would him going back to working in the kitchen help?

I think the weed is relevant because a) it’s antisocial and b) If you’re all smoking weed together, and get on well, there shouldn’t be a problem with mentioning how noisy the kids are to your neighbours/mates

YANBU, working is essential, screeching is not. I don’t understand why parents allow their children to be so much of a nuisance.

I have worried the entire lockdown about my kids making noise in the garden while my neighbour WFH with his VBVIP job. But now it's summer, I'm tired with trying to keep them from shouting
It's the summer, they're good children and they're going to be allowed to enjoy their garden. ViP neighbour can choose to use another room instead of the one at the back of their mansion overlooking our garden. Sorry, it's a sore point for me!!
Hope your OH can get back to the office soon OP!

I’ve not had a read of any of the replies, just the original post but you are absolutely being unreasonable wtf!
So they can play for 1 hour whilst hes on his break 🤣🤣 wow.

Im sure its 6 weeks holidays from next week so maybe he needs to speak to his employer to figure something out and let kids be kids!

I share his pain! I can have up to 10-12 children playing outside my "office" window and they seem unable to play without shrieking and shouting. It's communal grounds not a private garden so I feel like they should be a bit more considerate. It's going to be a long summer!!

YANBU, working is essential, screeching is not.

Oh please. If the OP hasn’t got an appropriate workspace that is for him and his employers to sort out. Nothing to do with what the neighbours do in their own home.

So he could work from another room (the bedroom), but he doesn't want to? So you have a solution, but you'd rather dump the problem onto your neighbours?
And YABU for inflicting the drink of weed on your neighbours. You say they've stopped since having kids - maybe you could think about the impact of your drug use on them and their DC before you start dictating how they use their outside space.

Yabvu

If they are home during the day they are probably self isolating aren’t they? So that would be their one outlet.

I agree with all the pps who say it’s for your husband and his employers to sort out an adequate working space. You can’t expect the rest of the world to stop because your DH is working.

Kids screeching when they play is just a bad habit. They can have just as much fun if they don’t screech.

I know from other posters on MN that some kids can’t be taught not too screech and shout due to autism or other conditions but for most kids it’s just a bad habit.

I find kids screeching really really irritating and I didn’t let my kids do it even if I was the only person suffering

Omg I’ve just read that you inflict the smell of weed on all of your neighbours!

That’s much worse than kids making kids’ noise.

Some parents' lax attitudes towards kids screeching like banshees and having absolutely zero consideration for their neighbours is what is making me absolutely dread the 6 week holidays.

I wish people would stop with this "kids being kids" attitude and teach them some bloody manners.

Unfortunately this is one of the many negative downsides to WFH. It's no one's fault - it just is. If children are willing to be outside playing and even if noisy it needs to be encouraged as much as possible as the likely alternative is going to involve a screen of some description. There will be households where children are driven outside because they have a parent who is WFH and noise inside is a problem. The whole WFH long term is going to bring it's own issues and I'm very glad I don't have young children I need to keep quiet while Daddy's working.

Hell no you can't do that you need to find another solution. Can he move to another part of the house.

Did he ask the shouting and arguing adults that disturbed him when he worked in the other room or is it only the children he wants to tell to keep it down while he works?

This is going to be an increasing problem this summer. Homes are homes. They may be currently utilised by many as workplaces but in residential places you get residential noises.

My ndn works from home from an office in his garden. I don't think my kids are excessively loud, but there is no way I would make them stay quiet in our own garden. They are only out there between 10am and 7pm to keep noise down in the mornings and evenings, if I count in people wfh too they would never be allowed out!!

@warmeduppizza

YANBU, working is essential, screeching is not. I don’t understand why parents allow their children to be so much of a nuisance.

Working from home is not essential though, it needs to be addressed with the employer.

This is your husbands work problem as others have said.

Kids have been penned up like animals for a year+ - of course they are not going to be civilised and quiet. They need to play outside and make noise. It's been shit for them. This is exactly like those school pupils who were told they weren't allowed to run in the field because the WFHers in neighbouring houses complained.

Your husband is an adult - his employer not providing the right work environment and abdicating their responsibility is not your neighbour's problem.

I've read OPs posts, but jut all responses.

I think he can say something, but carefully and without suggesting the kids don't play when they want to.

Is there a particular time every day when DH generally has a meeting? I would say to the neighbours... I have this daily meeting/s between x and y, could I ask a massive favour and ask the kids to be a bit quieter on the trampoline for that time? I know it's cheeky of me to ask, but I'd really appreciate it while I'm still working from home.

Of course I have but playgrounds are different to residential back gardens. Kids do scream and shout, unless they learn to be considerate of others and adjust their behaviour accordingly outside. I did it as a child and grew up to be mindful of others, it’s not difficult.

No, you can't tell the nieghbours what to do, and the parents really won't have any chance of keeping the quiet on a trampoline.

Noise cancelling headphones aren't that great for muting the sound of screaming kids. The nuclear option is earbuds under hearing protection earmuffs.

This really cheered me up, im having a shit morning. Thanks OP

Op contact audiologist -they can do phone call appointments (yep my dh had these!) what they can do is get you to send in hearing aid to adapt it or arrange a face to face (whoopee!) but they also might give advice - also contact the Deaf Society they maybe able to give advice
It does occur to me that he would have a disability case for getting better hearing defenders or special software for the computer perhaps (text? I wonder?)

Thanks to all who have commented and been constructive.

I do think DP needs to be a bit more assertive with his employers re disability needs and he should talk more with his manager about how WFH is affecting him. In general he struggles a bit with assertiveness and knowing what’s reasonable and not or what’s likely to cause conflict. I think it’s likely DP might be on the spectrum but he isn’t diagnosed or anything.

I’ll suggest to him that he talks to them about the noise levels as they might not be aware how much it’s carrying and maybe see if they could keep screaming to a minimum during working days or at regular meeting times. That seems a reasonable compromise.

A couple of posters have suggested that we’re accusing our neighbours of anti social behaviour. We’re not at all - we know kids will be kids and it’s not deliberate and doesn’t come under ASB at all. Believe me we know what that looks like after the past 18 months around here! Nobody wants unnecessary conflict as we’ve all been through enough. It’s a nuisance, but one he’ll just have to deal with if they can’t do anything about the screaming or aren’t willing too. They’re nice people, so I’d hope for the best and if they did happen to mention anything about the weed then of course we’d address it. Contrary to what some posters seem to think, we’re not arseholes.