AIBU to ask neighbours to keep kids off trampoline in working hours?

[PineappleMojito]

Not really for me, for my DP who is WFH. I don’t WFH so this doesn’t impact but he is very bothered by it.

Next door recently bought a trampoline for their two kids. When they go on it, they’re really noisy - they scream and shout a lot, I’ve heard them on the weekends when I’m home and it is loud. DP is hearing impaired, he’s on work Zoom calls during the day and the noise is making it difficult to do his calls. One is a pre schooler and the other we think might be home at the moment because school bubble has burst. Obviously he is used to general neighbour noise during day, but he finds the screaming and shouting difficult as it’s right next to our fence. He’s using noise cancelling headphones for calls, but even with those it’s getting through and making it hard for him to concentrate and hear what’s being said.

Would he BU to ask them if they could keep the kids off the trampoline during his work hours or confine it to lunch time during the week? He has an hour break where he’d be fine with them using it, he normally goes out to walk the dog. They’re very nice neighbours and we’ve never had any issues, but he’s afraid to rock the boat.

Why do so many people with kids think they’re entitled, of course they should be able to play in their garden but that doesn’t mean they have to scream and shout. OP you can’t ask them to stay off the trampoline but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask that they don’t scream and shout. It’s about having respect for others and it’s good for kids to learn this from a young age - makes for a much nicer society when they’re older.

@HaylingIreland

No, you absolutely can't do this! You will sound mental!

Exactly.. No just no,

Get earphones and work in the room with the door shut and decent air con or fan.

Can he not move rooms? I wouldn't limit my kids in the garden and I'd be annoyed by anyone who asked. You want the kids to sit looking at a trampoline for 7 hours til your husband leaves the house? How fair does he think that is?

To me, this post just reads that your husband wants to eat his cake and have it too.

It seems like he's not chasing it with his employers that his home environment is no longer suitable, because it's either not convenient for him or he actually doesn't want to go back to the office, but what he does want is for every one else to accommodate him because his work is more important than kids having fun. It seems very entitled.

Like another PP said, why can't he use your study now you're not using it any more?

The thing is they might have your husband wanting them to keep off it during all working hours, but other people saying it’s too early before then, and others saying it’s too late afterwards for them to be on it.

It’s their home and it’s a residential environment and if people choose to work in that environment (it may not have been a choice in the pandemic, I know) then they have to take that into consideration.

It would really, really annoy me though, so he does have my sympathy. I can’t concentrate on anything if there is noise and it gets me really wound up.

Sorry YABU, you can't ask them not to make noise in their garden, and I'm sure all the other neighbours may not appreciate the smell of weed. That is just as much an antisocial behaviour as children screaming is. Tell your husband to press his work and explain working from home isn't working for him, which it's clearly not.

Qell I can hear my neighbours entire conversation from their garden and my home office is in the bedroom at the front of the house and yup as adults they are that loud! So yanbu to ask them to stop screaming so much! No need to be screaming

@Wife2b

Why do so many people with kids think they’re entitled, of course they should be able to play in their garden but that doesn’t mean they have to scream and shout. OP you can’t ask them to stay off the trampoline but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask that they don’t scream and shout. It’s about having respect for others and it’s good for kids to learn this from a young age - makes for a much nicer society when they’re older.

Kids scream and shout. Have you never walked past a school playground?

If his employers expect him to continue to work from home they need to make adjustments for his hearing problems. The employers need to solve the problem.

I've worked from home throughout last summer with a 4 and 3 year old in the house/garden. We have a trampoline too. I didn't even need a headset if the office door was kept closed so I'm not quite sure how children in their garden would disturb him wearing a headset and the windows closed? Our children aren't quiet either.

I think you know how ridiculous your request would be.

We got the neighbour with 4 kids on the trampoline screaming and shouting, smoke the thing almost on a daily basis and have a dog that barks! They are the only one on our street. Every one else, with kids or not, dogs or not, are considerate, making sure we respect the neighbours, and then you have them or couldn't care less that they are constantly disturbing everyone else. Oh and did I mention the fireworks at any opportunities?

Sadly many people are selfish and way too into their own entitlements to care how they disturb everyone else. I just wish they left to leave somewhere where that level of disturbance is acceptable...oh wait, they don't want to be disturbed!!!

I think he needs to go back to his employers and ask for reasonable adjustments. Either a noise cancelling headset designed for hearing impaired (can the sound plug straight into the hearing aid?) or a space in the office. The novelty of the new trampoline will wear off over time. Parents know how noisy their children are, many just don’t care. Many office spaces are irritatingly noisy as well though!

I voted YABU because you definitely can’t ask them to stay off the trampoline all day. I think you could have quiet word about the screaming and let them know it’s a problem. Hopefully they’ll tone it down a bit.

I don’t have children and I tend to be troubled by noises more than most people are, but I can easily see that it is completely unreasonable to ask children not to play on the trampoline in their garden. And I cannot believe that any child would play on a trampoline for eight hours a day every day . Unless it is unsociable hours, we have to put up with normal household sounds, of which children playing is one.

My DH has been working at home since March last year and not once have we thought the neighbours ought to be giving some consideration towards that (to one of your earlier questions).

It is up to your husband to sort a suitable working environment, whether that is through adjustments made at home, talking to employer about going back in, or renting space at one of these places that appear to be popping up for WFH people.

I don't believe there isn't another room in the house he can take calls in. You said when you both worked from hone on was in the study and one was in the kitchen?

The neighbours are not doing anything wrong please don't ask them to try and keep children quiet - it's impossible and they're just enjoying their home and garden in a perfectly reasonable way during the day.

Your DH needs to go back to working in an office. Home working cannot work for everyone. You live in a community, you cannot expect other people to be quiet so your DH can use the house like an office.

Has your DH gone to his employer and just said that it is no longer sustainable for him to work from home and he needs to return to the office?

I would have way more of an issue with neighbours smoking illegal drugs than children playing and shouting on a trampoline. If they knocked on your door and asked you to stop smoking spliffs what would you say?

I think you need to maybe think a bit strategically if you want to sell up. A neighbour dispute is not what you want rn.

Would I take it kindly if you asked me to keep my kids (who have already had a year and a half of poor social development) being stuck inside except for one hour a day? No. My kids are very young and I like them outside as much as possible, we bought a house with a garden for that exact reason.

I could potentially react better to a request to tone down screaming but are you being 100% reasonable thst they are full on screaming the whole day? I only ask because my DM also has profound hearing loss (getting a cochlear implant soon) and she complains about children screaming because the noise is very jarring in her hearing aids. However the kids (not mine) are actually not always that loud, its just because she has her hearing aids up so loud that it picks up everything. Also having no children at home and being inside for the last year she has sadly become very unreasonable and expects her neighbours to put up with her dog constantly constantly barking but can't possibly deal with any noise that her neighbours make.

My neighbour decided to work from the garden last year and I had to listen to 8 hours a day of his boring job if we wanted any time outside. At first I kept the kids silent everytime he was on a call and then I thought no this is ridiculous. Why should my kids not laugh and play in the garden to meet his needs? Besides if there was a dispute you know fine well this is normal residential noise and it would never in a million years side with you.

You also say that your husband's company is not very helpful . Might this because his noise sensitivity has made life difficult for his co-workers in the past. I used to work in an opem plan office with someone like this and frankly he (why is it always he?) was a total pain in the bum

No. Not the case. He works in a data analytics team and the entire team has been told they will stay WFH until end of the year, maybe 1 day a week in office from autumn. He didn’t complain about noise in the office. As you can imagine, data analytics is basically an introvert haven so his team is full of fairly similar quiet ish people. Also, people don’t scream in the office as I hear that’s frowned upon!

Why not just work at the front of the house
That’s the bedroom and bathroom. Kitchen and study are at the back. I suppose he could move to the bedroom but not super ideal to work where you sleep. And we moved work to the back of the house initially because there was all sorts kicking off in the street during lockdown 1 with down the street neighbours who were pissed during the day. One of my poor clients once heard the torrent of swearing over Zoom, which wasn’t ideal!

@Blueskytoday06

While I sympathise, you would BU to ask, yes.

I live on an estate and have to accept that living in close proximity to others will at times not be quiet.

Hope for rain.

In the same vein, others have to accept that they can't make all the noise they like, when they like, for as long as they like.

Yanbu op.

Well someone else did bring the weed smoking into the thread and actually it is relevant.

I agree with you noisy inconsiderate neighbours are a nuisance and maybe a quiet word asking if their children could tone it down a tad might work if your DH can’t convince his employer to allow him back to the office. But what is annoying to one person isn’t to another. So weed smoking might not bother some but it certainly does others. Some people actually like the sound of children playing in gardens, many do not.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask them to be mindful of the noise their children make in the garden as your DP is WFH. However, you should be prepared for 1) them not to take any notice, 2) have it disrupt an otherwise nice relationship you have with your neighbours.

Your husband needs to rent a work space for a few months or speak to his work (in my office people have been allowed back for months if they need it for a good reason- i.e. hearing impaired and confidential calls). It’s not fair on your neighbours to insist on an office environment at home, it’s their garden. Plus self isolation with 2 kids is brutal, you can’t seriously think it’s reasonable to start imposing noise restrictions on them as well?

I would find this so stressful and annoying, completely relate.