To my half siblings shouldn’t get 50% of my parent’s house?

[reannneeee]

Paternal half siblings. They are 20 and 22 years older than me. Their mum joint owns with their stepdad and she was better off after the divorce as he left her the house. Me and my full brother raised in social housing as my mum and dad always struggled for money.

My parents ended up expressing a wish to purchase their property with Right To Buy in my late teens. They had a fair amount saved up but nowhere near enough. The property is in a desirable area and I saw it as a steal to get it with the Right To Buy Discount, so I agreed to save up and then give the money to my parents to use to be able to use Right To Buy. I ended up providing about 75% of the money (it took a good few years and meant I spent bugger all on fun and delayed my own life events) used for it. My full sibling has a learning disability and can’t live independently. The deal between me, my mum and dad was if I helped them to be able to buy the house, once they go I could have it and use 25% of the money on supporting my brother. None of the house is mine legally but we knew it’d benefit me and my brother in future if I helped them buy it now.

This was a few years ago. DF has now decided to write a will, he isn’t ill but wants to in the event of a sudden death. He has decided he’d feel guilty doing the original plan and excluding his older children. He now wants us to have 25% of the house each. He says that my financial support in making it possible for them to buy the house is negated by the fact that they let me live there rent free. I’ve not expressed this to him but I’m quite annoyed. My mum was also the bigger contributor for their portion of the deposit out of the 2 of them. I also know that when they go, all of the care for DB will go on me. I’ve already been told I’ll be his power of attorney, will manage his money etc. My half siblings are significantly older with their own well established lives. Mum is upset as well but doesn’t want to rock the boat.

Aibu to think DF is being unfair?

@Wannakisstheteacher

First family children are always fucked over like this. Your Dad has 4 DC, not just 2. You are just a greedy chancer.

The mother only has 2 children, why can't she leave her half to her children?

[quote mm8989]@ChargingBuck

she ONLY paid 75% of the deposit! not the full purchase price.[/quote]
Oh! Cheers MM. Very unclear in the OP. I've just read it back 3 times!

Same principle applies though.
The DF is a tricky fucker.

Yes its very misleading, I had to reread it too.

I think the issue is they now own the house and dads probably thinking giving one child everything is unfair.

It is unfair, but I can also see OPs frustration, they made an agreement.

If this is a council house in London, it might be worth 700K..

Your DF is making my blood boil. Is he actually just quite stupid? If not then he’s horrible.

Your parents need to make proper arrangements for the care of your brother for a start. Are they going to pay you for a lifetime of providing his care? He needs more than 25% surely?

I hope the legal route works as you should be entitled to a good chunk of the house.

The cheek to say you were living in the house rent-free when you’d paid for most of the bloody thing!

I would be absolutely furious. Incandescent. I know someone else who pulled this trick with his kids, saying one thing about money, then doing something else entirely years down the line. I really hope you can do something about this legally, because it's so blatantly wrong. Wishing you the best of luck.

I would tell your DF that if that's the route he wants to go down, they'll have to make other provisions for your DB's care because without a home or the money you supplied back, you won't be in a position to house him.

Maybe your half siblings could step up and care for him? 🤔

Ring fence your money. Ask for extra money for care -talk to him with a solicitor.

Ultimately F can probably legally do what he wants BUT -this is the issue with family. Consult a solicitor.

I don't get on with my parents -but they seem to want me to care for them -they are 80 plus now on the grounds on my inheritance -if I do it, it will be not expecting anything in return as this is the legal position.

Ah,
I have just realised OP only paid 75% of the deposit, which makes my post incorrect

However much the OP's initial input was, it was only possible to purchase at that price due to her parents long-standing tenancy. So not so clear as "she paid, its hers". Its also not clear whether her parents paid a mortgage to finance the balance of the purchase, or how much the house has appreciated in value since. Certainly the idea that the house should be hers and 25% go to her brother is iffy, if he cant live independently he'll need some sort of trust fund or all inheritance will do is score up his entitlement to benefits.

@Movingonupupup

Ring fence your money. Ask for extra money for care -talk to him with a solicitor.

Ultimately F can probably legally do what he wants BUT -this is the issue with family. Consult a solicitor.

I don't get on with my parents -but they seem to want me to care for them -they are 80 plus now on the grounds on my inheritance -if I do it, it will be not expecting anything in return as this is the legal position.

I thought you could only ring fence at the time of signing deeds? Plus you'd need the dads permission now to do that I imagine, unlikely to do it given his stance now.

OP have your parents refunded the amount you paid towards the deposit? If not then you’re entitled to have that money back. If they won’t refund you then get a solicitor.

Regarding the house - it’s a bit of a moot point because nobody knows what’s going to happen in the future, there might be nothing to inherit. DF is older so will probably die first and the house will go to DM. She can then will it to anyone she wants, and if she dies without a will then your half siblings won’t get a penny. But she may end up needing care so the home would take the house and nobody would inherit anything.

Under the circumstances I’d take steps to recover the deposit and then just wait and see what happens.

Your mum has the power here surely? If they own the house together, it isn't his to give away.

Your Mum needs to speak up and exert her power. She needs to protect her children. That matters much more than her discomfort at doing so.

I would work out the sum you contributed and ask for a charge of that value to be placed on the house, that way your money is returned before anyone else takes a %

Also, given that statistically, your dad is likely to die first, it's in his interests to come to a mutually acceptable agreement with your Mum and for them to write mirror wills. Once he's gone, she is free to cut out the half siblings. His behaviour now is handing her the motivation to do that.

@AquaTorfana

Move this to legal issues. Providing that much money to the deposit on the house means you could have a legal stake if you act now and take legal action to recoup your costs.

On what basis? In England I can't think of one or is it that you think their should be. That won't help the op much.

Get your mum to get her own legal advice. This could end up messier going forward based on his attitude change.

This happened with DB and me, mum and stepdad agreed to share the house 3 ways between DB, me and step brother, all good. Mum got sick, stepdad started changing his mind about how it was split (hinting that step bro should get it all) so mum ended up changing the deeds to tenants in common (I think) (so that when she died she could leave her 50% share how she wanted (i.e. to my brother and I and that SD lived in the house until he passed)) and he could do what he wanted with his half (leave it to his son). It all kicked off after mum died as he thought he could change his will to leave the entire house to his son - cutting my DB and I out completely. Thanks to mums foresight that wasn't the case.

So, your parents need to talk about this, gather all relevant information (especially about your brother's future care needs, living expenses and benefit entitlements), seek advice, discuss, then see a solicitor.

This is a technically complex case. No-one here can solve that at a few strokes of a keyboard.

Morally, your dad is setting himself up to fail and cause huge heartache and resentment. What a way to be remembered. Your mum needs to address that.

There is some really bad advice on here and it won't help the op at all.

If they wanted the money from the deposit returned at some point then a legal document should have been made at the time. It will be viewed as a gift otherwise and declaring it as a loan at the time might have had implications for getting a mortgage. The op doesn't say how much money is actually involved. Deposit on a council property may not have been that much.

I think it might be fair to leave op the amount of the deposit and maybe a right more to allow for interest plus a quarter of the house value after that.

In any case the house may have to be used up in care home fees for all they know and there will be nothing left to inherit. Inheritance isn't a right.

@lottiegarbanzo

Your mum has the power here surely? If they own the house together, it isn't his to give away.

Your Mum needs to speak up and exert her power. She needs to protect her children. That matters much more than her discomfort at doing so.

This ^

A house has two components of return, capital appreciation and (if you live in it) notional rental income. If you are own 75% of it, you are entitled to both, 75% of the increase in price as well as 75% of occupation.

Your father is wrong to think your benefit from living there can be set against capital appreciation benefit, you should be fully entitled to both.

It's unfair and upsetting that they've gone back on their commitment for sure. But ultimately it is their house and they have paid for most of it. Although if they want to split it four ways you should be given your deposit back first and then the remainder split four ways.

I agree with others who say it is him who is in debt to you, to the extent that he lived there rent-free after your 75% contribution.

But ultimately it is their house and they have paid for most of it

I thought they'd only paid for a quarter of it, one third as much as OP.

@LaProcureure

Don’t take legal advice from mumsnet, what people feel must be the case, often isn’t.

The only advice I would give (as a lawyer) is get a lawyer! Google “direct access chancery barrister”. This will be the cheapest way to get you the advice you need, but also ironically most likely the most accurate advice.

This is the correct advice. I’m not a lawyer but I read a lot of bonkers posts from posters who think they know what they are talking about but don’t!