To my half siblings shouldn’t get 50% of my parent’s house?

[reannneeee]

Paternal half siblings. They are 20 and 22 years older than me. Their mum joint owns with their stepdad and she was better off after the divorce as he left her the house. Me and my full brother raised in social housing as my mum and dad always struggled for money.

My parents ended up expressing a wish to purchase their property with Right To Buy in my late teens. They had a fair amount saved up but nowhere near enough. The property is in a desirable area and I saw it as a steal to get it with the Right To Buy Discount, so I agreed to save up and then give the money to my parents to use to be able to use Right To Buy. I ended up providing about 75% of the money (it took a good few years and meant I spent bugger all on fun and delayed my own life events) used for it. My full sibling has a learning disability and can’t live independently. The deal between me, my mum and dad was if I helped them to be able to buy the house, once they go I could have it and use 25% of the money on supporting my brother. None of the house is mine legally but we knew it’d benefit me and my brother in future if I helped them buy it now.

This was a few years ago. DF has now decided to write a will, he isn’t ill but wants to in the event of a sudden death. He has decided he’d feel guilty doing the original plan and excluding his older children. He now wants us to have 25% of the house each. He says that my financial support in making it possible for them to buy the house is negated by the fact that they let me live there rent free. I’ve not expressed this to him but I’m quite annoyed. My mum was also the bigger contributor for their portion of the deposit out of the 2 of them. I also know that when they go, all of the care for DB will go on me. I’ve already been told I’ll be his power of attorney, will manage his money etc. My half siblings are significantly older with their own well established lives. Mum is upset as well but doesn’t want to rock the boat.

Aibu to think DF is being unfair?

How long ago did you prove the deposit?

Are your parents married?

If not, is the house in both names, or just your father’s?

You should get this moved to legal. You need to see a lawyer to claim your share of the house - if you Google "resulting and constructive trust" you will find a lawyer in your area plus more details about what you need to do.

Also you do not have to be your brother's representative, that is entirely up to you and nobody can force you. If he lacks capacity then you will probably need a deputyship rather than an LPA and that costs the best part of £1k with all the fees and you have to pay a supervision fee every year afterwards.

I'd tell him that if that's his plan he will have to pay you the 75% back. Honestly, this would be enough for me to cut ties with him completely. I don't do well with people going back on their word.

I would think a fair split is - yourself and brother 37.5% each, and your step-siblings 12.5% each. That represents the parental split with the kids.
If you believe a trade-off for looking after your brother is necessary and that his share should be 25%, it would then be yourself 50%, brother 25%, and your step-siblings 12.5% each.

Legally you're probably without recourse, sorry. It sounds like your parents have massively taken advantage of your naivety as a young person.

Realistically, how old is your mum though? In her 50s? So you'd have 30-40 years yet before getting any inheritance anyway. I'd be making it VERY clear to my parents that I wouldn't be taking on brother's care and that they need to make adequate provision for him.

Has the house significantly increased in value since it was initially bought?

Do your parents own the house as joint tenants or tenants in common? The former is usual and means the survivor automatically inherits on the death of the spouse. If the latter, each can leave their share as they choose.

You need legal advice, though I'm not sure how far you'd get with this if there is no deed of trust or at least a paper trail to show your contribution.

For me, it depends how much money you provided so that they could take advantage of the Right to Buy, and how long you have lived rent free.

Has the will been finalised? When it comes to it, his solicitor may have some fairer suggestions for him.

It would be usual, on his death, for your mum to be able to live there for the rest of her life. Then, upon her death, 50% is split between her two children and 50% is split between your dad's four children.

I do think that your contribution to the deposit should have been ringfenced. But did you provide £5000 and live rent free for ten years or did you provide £30,000 last year? I think the amounts are important.

Of course your dad wants to leave something to his other two children, who he loves just as much as you and your brother. It would be very unfair imo, on his death, for them to receive no inheritance from his estate.

It is not for you to decide that they are unworthy because they are older and have well established lives, or because they will also inherit from their mother. You cannot know their financial situation and it is irrelevant anyway - your dad wants to leave something for all of his children.

Also, a £5000 contribution - or whatever it was - does not warrant a 100% (or 75% if 25% goes to your brother) share in a house that will be worth hundreds of thousands by the time of inheritance. What was your deposit contribution as a % of value at the time? That same % should be ringfenced imo.

Can’t believe that right to buy is still continuing 🙄

Rock the boat!!

Get legal advice

What does your mum say about all of this and do you still have proof of your original savings?

There's no nice way to go about it other than being straight with him and saying you invested a lot in that house and you find it unforgivable for your father to even consider not giving you the bulk of the house if something should happen. Fair enough for any savings he has, he can split those 4 ways if he wishes. But if you invested in the house you need to be upfront. If he's really determined I don't know legally how much you can do. Something similar happened with a woman I worked with when her mother and her and gone halves to buy the council house they shared but in her mum's name and it was knowing she would get it when her mum died, her mum instead wanted to sell the house after a while and buy another house but split that one between all her other children in the will not seeing that the money should have been half her daughter's. She got legal advice and was told she didn't have a claim because her name was nowhere in writing and it would have cost a lot to go to court.
So unless you had some kind of contract as evidence I'd say it might be difficult for you to prove this.
Just the threat of legal action could cause a huge family bust up that you don't want and then lead nowhere. Your best bet IMO is to speak to your father and be upfront about how angry you are.

I also think you need lawyer advice. They may be able to help you try to engage with him in writing to get him to admit you gave him money based on the agreement. This is awful.

Your parents actually should have succession planned a long time ago to ensure the money from the house isn’t eaten up in care home fees. Shame on him.

Oh no, that's not fair at all. Maybe talk to a lawyer first, to get an idea of you could possibly do and, depending on what sort of a relationship you have with him, take it from there.

You and your mother both need to rock the boat by reminding him that he has gone back on a pretty significant agreement. This isn’t about rent: you not paying rent enabled them to buy that house by allowing you to save and give them your money. You both also need to remind him that whilst this was a private agreement, in law, you may actually have rights because of providing money for the deposit so it may not be as simple as he thinks, or remain a private agreement. He also needs to remember that it’s not just his house - your mum has a say too, and she’s clearly not happy.

It’s not about ‘the money’; it’s about what’s right, especially considering you have a sibling with care needs and this arrangement factored that in.

Basically, he’s being an arse. Your mum is being avoidant and weak. You’re not being unreasonable and you do need legal advice. Then you both need to tell him take his head out of his arse.

YANBU to feel upset even if all that your DF intends is perfectly legal.

There's always lots of legal advice on this threads but this could all be wholly incorrect, depending where you live. Where I live, you can't disinherit your children at all. Your mum could legally disinherit her step-children, though.

I don't know. I can see you point, but I absolutely hate it when children of council tenants "see a steal" and try to play the system in the expectation that they will inherit much more than they paid for and deprive future generations of much needed housing, so I can have limited sympathy, I'm afraid.

Is he proposing mirror wills or will his plan be dependent on your DM passing first or do they own the house as tenants in commons (as opposed to joint tenants when his share will pass to your DM)? It may be is his passes first and isn't aware, the issue might go away if your DM isn't willing to rock the boat. His decision is entirely inappropriate. He could equally be said to have lived in your 75% of the house without paying rent to you if that is his argument.

Good luck and let's hope your DM fronts him up.

I think it's because you've paid so much money into it and are looking after DB after their death that this is so wrong. Not because they are half siblings.

Do your mum and step dad have 50:50 ownership? If yes he can make his own will for his half, and your mum make a will for her half. You have no say at all in what happens but you could try reasoning with them. If your mum goes first without a will her side of the money would probably go to him. She should probably leave her half to you and your brother, in trust so that step dad can continue to live in it.

If he gets her half, he could then change his will to give it all to just his biological kids so you get nothing at all.

I’m not a lawyer but if you didn’t give them the money as a loan with paperwork I’d be very surprised if you now have any legal claim. It’s pants but you were too trusting.

Do you have proof of your original money transfer etc

Also have his dc been putting any pressure on him?