DD1 and friends coping with poverty in SA

Allington · 2021-07-13T13:38:30+00:00

They struggle daily for safety. And for some people food, let alone somewhere safe to live. Even a proper (I.e. Bullet proof) house often has an outside toilet with a tap to wash your hands

Sexnotgender · 13/07/2021 14:39

That’s awful. Where are they in South Africa? My husband is from there and his family are still there.

lughnasadh · 13/07/2021 14:42

Millions and millions of people live like that.

Is this news to you and your daughter or something? Does your daughter want to leave?

Can she? Surely she isn't in poverty - f you aren't with her, can't you send her money?

mbosnz · 13/07/2021 14:44

Allington, have things got better or worse since the ending of apartheid, do you think? Have any changes been purely political, with no real impact on the plight of the poor (who are mostly black), in South Africa, with reference to education, worker rights and experience, policing, and crime?

DistrictCommissioner · 13/07/2021 14:47

Do you mean she's distressed by seeing people in poverty?

This was one of the things I found hardest about living with my children in South Africa. They saw & heard some very sad things.

Kanaloa · 13/07/2021 14:48

What specifically is your daughter struggling with? You say ‘they’ struggle so I presume she’s struggling just with the idea of poverty and isn’t actually living in poverty herself.

Notimeforaname · 13/07/2021 14:50

Is your daughter stuck in poverty herself?

girlmom21 · 13/07/2021 14:58

I'm assuming your daughter has gone to help these people? Is she struggling to see their living conditions?

MangosteenSoda · 13/07/2021 14:58

Huge wealth inequality that hasn’t really changed since the end of apartheid. A really impossible situation from which to move forward. Any setbacks, however small, really shine a light on it.

Original poster

Allington · 13/07/2021 15:12

@MangosteenSoda

Huge wealth inequality that hasn’t really changed since the end of apartheid. A really impossible situation from which to move forward. Any setbacks, however small, really shine a light on it.

This is a big factor

My DDs are adopted, grew up in poverty. DD1 now 22 and training as a social worker. I met her aged 10 and she came home aged 13 VERY angry , fair enough, she had been failed by so many adults.

She has a full scholarship and I add to that

This is more about the threads of white South Africans complaining about their circumstances.

Because DD1, whatever her challenges, is incredibly privileged by having a white adoptive mum, and she realises that (bless her, every child should have the opportunities she's had without the disadvantages)

But we are supposed feel sorry for the kids who have all the privileges, because contextual offers are made

OP posts:

Coyoacan · 13/07/2021 15:16

It sounds like you have a very interesting story to tell Allington, but you need to take a bit longer to polish your writing as it is not totally clear.

Crockof · 13/07/2021 15:18

How is she coping at the moment with the additional issues that have been happening? Is there any support from other countries?

TheYearOfSmallThings · 13/07/2021 15:19

I agree, it would be better to say what you want to say clearly.

MaskingForIt · 13/07/2021 15:23

But we are supposed feel sorry for the kids who have all the privileges, because contextual offers are made

What are you hoping to get from this thread? You’re talking about poverty in SA and then bashing a measure designed to level up inequality.

TheGlassBlowersDaughter · 13/07/2021 15:24

There is great inequality in SA, as there is in lots of places in the world.

ClaudiaWankleman · 13/07/2021 15:32

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TiredButDancing · 13/07/2021 15:33

This is more about the threads of white South Africans complaining about their circumstances.

You should start that thread. Maybe it would open eyes of how so many white south africans remain intrinsically racist even though they honestly and truly believe they're not. My all time personal favourite was the facebook thread of a friend of a friend who was basically complaining because she didn't want to pay her nanny/cleaner according to the (at the time) newly-mandated-minimum wage by the government. It was particularly bizarre that her complaint was that she couldn't afford it but it was clear that she was living an extremely comfortable and happy life. NO one was suggesting that she HAD to have a nanny/cleaner, but she was outraged that she couldn't keep paying the woman working for her at a level that is not livable. It was BIZARRE.

My second favourite was a photo taken by my brother of him and our long-term family cleaner having coffee. He was giving her a lift to the station and they'd stopped to grab a drink. Cue endless comments, "Aaaah, that's so kind of you" and "aaah, she must have loved that". She's a grown-ass woman who has been cleaning up after him for some 30 odd years. The language was the language people use when I take my 6 year old DD out for high tea and post a picture. ICK.

not amusing. i

Aski · 13/07/2021 15:36

privileged by having a white adoptive mum

As opposed to?

TheGlassBlowersDaughter · 13/07/2021 15:41

Is this about racism, poverty or contextual offers? They are all complicated issues. I'm not sure that broad brush strokes and outside toilets, even begin to scratch the surface of the problems in SA.

MrsFin · 13/07/2021 15:45

As opposed to being poor and parentless i assume (or having a parent who wasn't able to parent).

In SA (assuming that's where DD and her mother are - the post isn't clear), "whites" have HUGE privilege.

You need to go there to understand what privilege means really.

AnotherKrampus · 13/07/2021 15:51

Glad you started your own thread to virtue-signal as a white person to show all MN just how much worthier you are.

RubyGoat · 13/07/2021 15:57

@TiredButDancing

This is more about the threads of white South Africans complaining about their circumstances.

You should start that thread. Maybe it would open eyes of how so many white south africans remain intrinsically racist even though they honestly and truly believe they're not. My all time personal favourite was the facebook thread of a friend of a friend who was basically complaining because she didn't want to pay her nanny/cleaner according to the (at the time) newly-mandated-minimum wage by the government. It was particularly bizarre that her complaint was that she couldn't afford it but it was clear that she was living an extremely comfortable and happy life. NO one was suggesting that she HAD to have a nanny/cleaner, but she was outraged that she couldn't keep paying the woman working for her at a level that is not livable. It was BIZARRE.

My second favourite was a photo taken by my brother of him and our long-term family cleaner having coffee. He was giving her a lift to the station and they'd stopped to grab a drink. Cue endless comments, "Aaaah, that's so kind of you" and "aaah, she must have loved that". She's a grown-ass woman who has been cleaning up after him for some 30 odd years. The language was the language people use when I take my 6 year old DD out for high tea and post a picture. ICK.

not amusing. i

That’s sickening.

ParsleyDill · 13/07/2021 15:58

@Allington, I don't understand -- did you adopt your daughter in SA? Do you live there? Is it your daughter or your friends (or her friends?) who are coping with poverty, or someone else?

MaskingForIt · 13/07/2021 16:03

@Aski

privileged by having a white adoptive mum

As opposed to?

The racism is loud and clear, isn’t it?!

3Britnee · 13/07/2021 16:09

@TheYearOfSmallThings

I agree, it would be better to say what you want to say clearly.

She thinks none of the white people in South Africa should complain about the rioting because black people have had it harder for longer basically.

What her bee in her bonnet is, is the equivalent of all lives matter to blm.

quizqueen · 13/07/2021 16:10

People live in poverty everywhere, yet they still keep producing children.