To have kept DD8 off school because I can't afford a costume?

[Barkus]

Every term there is a new Class Topic and a dress up day where the whole class is required to turn up to school in costume.

If you're not a crafty Mary Poppins-esque supermum who can produce a hand made costume over a weekend, you are forced to purchase a costume (usually from Amazon in the range of £12-£25).

AIBU to have kept DD off today because I am not a crafty supermum and cannot possibly afford the costume.

@lastqueenofscotland

YABU Talk to the school, pop on a black top, black trousers and a £1 pair of cat ears… Someone I knows son once wore grey school trousers, a grey t shirt and a white tie and said he was dressed as the A45

Genius!!

@Barkusdressing
it is NOT one day a year...do you have children?
It's world book day, xmas plays, xmas jumper, Egyptian day, victorian day.
that's this year for one child!!

This planet is dying...we should be teaching our children to not buy crap for a one day event! Its their future, we need them to understand!

I don't need to buy on eBay, I make costumes, I have the luxury of being a SAHM, plus have plenty of money.
Its not about that, its about the fact that the planet can't sustain it! A planet our children have to live on. have you noticed the fires in Australia, Canada burning? Climate change!? Being bitchy and suggesting someone is a tight arse is fucking stupid, no one wants this pressure.

@hellogem maybe, or depending on the child. Mine was year 1 at the time, it was awful, i don’t know how I didn’t cry in front of her for her sake. She felt horrible I could tell but didn’t want to say anything or I would have felt bad

I flipping hate dress up days.

The kids who can't afford it, the kids whose parents never read the emails, the kids whose parents can't read the emails because they don't speak English, the kids with ASD who can't wear scratchy costumes or tolerate that kind of change to their routine....don't even get me started on the impact of Amazon vans driving around parcels of flammable, plastic clothing that will be only worn once.

Yabu there is a middle ground, have you not heard of the art of cobbling something together

Maybe we need to start a thread of ideas for costumes, and how to do them on a shoestring, to help stressed parents in the future.

My friend sent her son is as Wally, from Where’s Wally? for WBD - black trousers, a long sleeved white top with the striped coloured on, and a stripy hat.

@bobby6678 Did you tag the wrong person?

@HaveringWavering

Schools should ban bought costumes - the mass-production of synthetic crap is really bad for the environment, I hate seeing supermarkets full of it around Halloween and world book day. Insisting on home made also levels the playing field a bit.

They can insist all they like. They’ll get what I provide

Pinterest is full of ideas…. Plenty that you can put together from regular clothes or a bit of cardboard and paint. Or you can actually put out a message to your friends / other parents “ hey has anyone got a world book day / animal costume/ face paints I could borrow” - it isn’t shameful.

@bonbonours

Really sad for your daughter to miss out because you're worried about her not having an amazing or expensive costume. You're teaching her that what you have is more important than having fun.

No matter what the theme is you can do something very simple. Eg buy a pack of cheap plain white t-shirts from Tesco, use Sharpies to draw on them to fit into any theme. Or cut out a mask from cardboard, or draw on the back of an old cereal box and hang it round her neck. If you're not artistic why not get your daughter involved in drawing something for herself and praise her for what she's created, even if it looks rubbish she can be proud of making it herself.

Or if there really isn't anything she can wear as a costume just send her in in home clothes so she can enjoy the day.

I never buy costumes specially, always use clothes or dressing up things we already have, or make something super simple as above. You're envisaging a problem where there doesn't need to be one.

It’s always ‘simple’ to those who can do it

My son is in FS1 and we’ve already been asked to dress him up several times this year. I always feel obliged to because I don’t want him feeling left out but ho early I think it’s fucking stupid and annoying.

Also I’m a teacher myself and I just don’t understand the educational value of this?? The kids never actually wear accurate costumes anyway because the poor parents are, as this thread shows, ‘cobbling together’ what they can from what they have available. What’s the point?? They look nothing like Victorians on Victorian day!

World Book Day I kind of get but the others are, as far as I can see, just marketing opportunities for the school’s social media accounts

A45 costume. @lastqueenofscotland that is solid gold.

The school won't care. They can wear uniform,their own clothes, something cobbled together, the pinterest worthy costume, or the amazon prime costume.

They also tend to have some dress up bits and bobs for any children that might need it.

The fact that you'd rather keep your DD off rather than sending her in in something less than perfect is not the school's fault.

We did everything from bought, to carefully planned, to cobbled together, to making something, to whatever she wanted to wear on that day even if it was irrelevant. I also forgot once . The sky didn't fall through, she still had fun.

It’s always ‘simple’ to those who can do it

it's not that hard when you put your kids first

Last dress up day - Roman child. He wore my white tunic - if you were one of those who has eagle eyes you will see me wear it on the school run - his brothers white football shorts underneath, his summer sandals and a piece of braid bought in hobby craft years ago for (approx a £1) another costume. Hardly crafty but it worked.
Before that 1940s child - navy chino shorts and blue shirt both bought for summer wear. Normal school shoes and socks pulled up. I made a box out of a cereal box turned inside out and added a bit of string plus a label. Plenty of instructions online.

Thinking is free. If you can’t then google the dressing up day and easy homemade.

Probably too late now, but just think basic next time that your child can do themselves. Like plain coloured home clothes with some homemade accessory that fits, eg I have an old blanket that is cape for Viking/Roman/Anglo Saxon/ day and has also been random bird wings from whatever country they are celebrating day. I get DS to make a mask, or a sign/badge/cardboard armour that can go on with a safety pin. He benefits from feeling proud of making it himself - I’m not sure what the value of me buying some flammable polyester outfit from Amazon would be.

Lots of good tips re Facebook marketplace / buying secondhand etc. Just one more to add - there is a Facebook group called Preloved to Reloved for Postage, basically you can offer or ask for stuff for free and just pay the cost of postage. I've seen people ask for / offer fancy dress costumes on there. Excellent group for both givers and receivers!

Not everybody likes dressing up days, but not everybody likes math drills or spelling tests or gym class or other things that go on in school. The purpose of a themed dress up day would be to stretch kids' creativity, which is another form of learning. It is harder for some kids than others, but it is a useful life skill for all.

@igelkott2021

Really sad for your daughter to miss out because you're worried about her not having an amazing or expensive costume. You're teaching her that what you have is more important than having fun

There is an assumption in this comment that all children think dressing up is fun. They don't.

I remember breathing a sigh of relief when ds went to secondary school: no more dressing up days, hurrah. Until they decided to have a fancy dress tug of war on the last day of Y7...ds didn't bother staying after school for it (his choice).

I wasn't saying the dressing up was fun, I was saying the activities during the day would have been fun, no matter what they were wearing.

The purpose of a themed dress up day would be to stretch kids' creativity, which is another form of learning.

Except it’s not. If it was, the kids would be making costumes at school from a variety of materials provided. It is only stretching parents‘ (or do I mean mums’) creativity. And some mums have confessed to not being very creative which is, in fact, allowed.

Gah, these things used to drive me mad even as a relatively wealthy WOHM.

As if families aren't busy and stressed enough without this crap. I struggled to manage the book day once a year.

Yanbu at all.

PS I found themed headbands a useful alternative.

Rabbit ear headband
Patriotic headband
House colour headband

Grab some facepaints and you're pretty much there no matter what the outfit

@lastqueenofscotland

YABU Talk to the school, pop on a black top, black trousers and a £1 pair of cat ears… Someone I knows son once wore grey school trousers, a grey t shirt and a white tie and said he was dressed as the A45

Wonderful!

YANBU

Expecting children to dress up after every topic is annoying. Non uniform day is fine, but dress up?! I hate dress up days, I find them stressful, but thankfully our school doesn't do many. I would speak to the teacher, this sort of thing should not be a source of stress for parents. Unless you speak to them, they won't be aware of it. Hope it changes for you.

And there it is, the post from the smug parent who thinks that revolving your life round every last whim of your child is healthy.