To have kept DD8 off school because I can't afford a costume?

[Barkus]

Every term there is a new Class Topic and a dress up day where the whole class is required to turn up to school in costume.

If you're not a crafty Mary Poppins-esque supermum who can produce a hand made costume over a weekend, you are forced to purchase a costume (usually from Amazon in the range of £12-£25).

AIBU to have kept DD off today because I am not a crafty supermum and cannot possibly afford the costume.

Yes, I can see your point Cool. Also it's about 15 years' ago I had these issues and things change.

Can't believe all these stupid comments about drawing on a white t-shirt.

no need to project and call them "stupid".
Parents DO draw on a cheap tshirt - can find them in a charity shop or use an old garden tshirt that can be worn again on messy days.
Children ARE happy with it.

Some children learn quite young to be comfortable in their own skin and not in a constant competition with everybody.

And I am sorry if you had a bad experience as a child, but it doesn't mean all fun activities must stop for everybody.

We need to keep the dressing up days, but suggest or offer a solution for the families who are really struggling. We manage to do that with school trips, don't we? We don't cancel them for the entire school because there's a poor family, we help them joining in with the others.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Sure but I’m not asking about other people.
I’m asking if this is down to not being able to afford a £10 outfit vs being a misery guys tight arse.

YABU to keep her off school I was neither. I certainly wasn’t crafty and I never spent £20 on a single use outfit. But I would create something from what we had in the house with occasionally buying a small item such as a wig or cheap prop.

I am crafty but just do not have the time to rustle up elaborate costumes for events.

My go-to was a coloured smartprice pillow case from Asda, cost less than £3. Cut hole in the top and sides for a tunic. During my time when my kids were at Primary school a white pillowcase tunic was an Egyptian costume and a Roman one, a green one was a Viking tunic, and a brown one was some sort of Pict / Anglo-Saxon thing.

Everything else we had in the house. Schools should absolutely NOT be encouraging the purchase of plastic, disposable outfits from Amazon for these types of events.

I’m asking if this is down to not being able to afford a £10 outfit vs being a misery guys tight arse
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Not really sure I understand what you're getting at? why would anyone be a tight arse not wanting to buy a crappy polyester outfit, made by children/slave wages? it's a ridiculous expectation on parents. (worse for poorer families)
a misery guts?? This planet it suffering...it can't sustain x million xmas jumpers every year. its showing this to us..half the planet is burning, we have the strangest weather patterns ever.

So what was your DD expected to dress up as today that couldn't be improvised easily?

And by the way, I think you are being very unreasonable to keep a child at home for this reason!

I hate it too. DD had to be a bumble bee this week. To be fair to the school, they just said black leggings (which the girls have for PE anyway) and a black or yellow t shirt would do (most have these too; one 'house' has to wear yellow t shirts for sports day so plenty to beg / borrow / steal as not all the children were bees).
So off DD went in her black leggings and yellow t-shirt to discover all the other little bumble bees were wearing identical costumes from Amazon (£20 each!) - full on padded, furry, striped bodies with wings and antennae etc. DD was so sad.

The old HT at our Primary school loved her elaborate Christmas shows and we were regularly asked for something ridiculous.

Every December the school Facebook page came alive with dozens of posts asking for costume items and there was lots and lots of swapping.

@careerchangeperhaps

I hate it too. DD had to be a bumble bee this week. To be fair to the school, they just said black leggings (which the girls have for PE anyway) and a black or yellow t shirt would do (most have these too; one 'house' has to wear yellow t shirts for sports day so plenty to beg / borrow / steal as not all the children were bees). So off DD went in her black leggings and yellow t-shirt to discover all the other little bumble bees were wearing identical costumes from Amazon (£20 each!) - full on padded, furry, striped bodies with wings and antennae etc. DD was so sad.

That gives me the rage. The absolute fucking irony of unnecessary waste and carbon to dress up as bees of all things, one of the creatures we need to worry about most in terms of bidiversity, food supply (pollination etc.)..

You could still send her in with uniform you know. Or send her in with normal clothes on. Or any other random costume you own.
I've never seen all parents follow the theme correctly, I've always assumed it's probably the kid that didn't want to wear the actual theme and came in as Spider-Man instead. Teachers never say anything

@careerchangeperhaps Well, the parents of those kids must be nuts! Teach your DD a good lesson in how not to waste money on tat, and treat her to something nice she wants instead of a wear-one-time bee costume.

Next time make a bit more effort though- you could have made some lovely paper wings, and antennae out of pipecleaners on a headband with little pinging balls at the end and painted her face for the day! All for virtually nothing!

[quote FreekStar2]@careerchangeperhaps Well, the parents of those kids must be nuts! Teach your DD a good lesson in how not to waste money on tat, and treat her to something nice she wants instead of a wear-one-time bee costume.

Next time make a bit more effort though- you could have made some lovely paper wings, and antennae out of pipecleaners on a headband with little pinging balls at the end and painted her face for the day! All for virtually nothing![/quote]
Yes make her feel better about the sheer wastefullness of others by doing a little bit of consumerism of your own. And tut tut for not having pipecleaners and plastic balls to hand and to use for this one day.

We are so fucked

@Workinghardeveryday depending on the age of the kids, many of them don't feel embarrassed.

I'm sorry you felt in that position. I've never spent money on a costume for school. Occasionally I have gone the full Mary Poppins when I've had the time, inclination and correct supplies, but mostly one of us (me or the kids) has rustled up something a bit crap but passable or we've entirely forgotten and wondered why everyone else has turned up in superhero costumes or Easter bonnets but us.

@theleafandnotthetree I take it you don't use anything yourself then and you never allow your kids to take part in dressing up? Idiot!

It's not about being completely sustainable, it's about allowing your children to still be part of something and feel special while reducing waste and excessive spending. Do you people never do craft with your children?

I actually think you should tell the school that there are too many of these days. I would find it a real pain. I work as a teacher and I wouldn't be making this a requirement for my class. Once a year for Book day is about my limit.

@bobby6678 Because dressing up is only allowed on one day of the year (or at best, a couple when the school dictates.)
Get a costume that can be used multiple times then sell it on eBay/local sites and if you really can’t cope with consumerism, donate the money to anti slavery/climate change groups or whatever you want.

Most kids have a black or white T-shirt and leggings/joggers to boot. Buy £2 cat ears, job done.
If op can’t afford that then there’s an entirely different issue at hand which is what I was trying to ascertain.

You don’t need to buy something new and specific to a theme/character. Most things can be cobbled together at home! It doesn’t have to be movie-accurate, in the style of will do.
Have a search for “Disney bounding” - it’s a way adults can get around the no-costumes rule at Disneyland by using the colours of the character and accessorising.
A few years ago for world book day, a child in my class wore some bunny ears from Easter and made a clock face from a cardboard box and hung it around his neck. He came as the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland!

This pisses me off, so I'm completely with you. I have three children who are at a school who are always dropping last minute dress up days on us. There isn't an option to dress in just normal clothes either, it's either dress up or nothing. So I'm spending a small fortune on costumes for my children every term because they absolutely insist on partaking and not being left out. It's crippling to be honest.

My kids always looked shit on these days as I tried to be crafty mum. Yanbu op.

They think back on it fondly though as i tried. thank god. I hope you manage to sort something op

People saying 'just talk to the school' - I've done this after we were asked to send our kid dressed up for umpteenth time in a year. I suggested a dress-up cupboard in the school that is made from purchases and donations. I never even got a response!