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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let our baby sleep in a guesthouse in the garden

644 replies

Zipfer · 12/07/2021 21:52

We are in between moves and staying with family. Our family has a guesthouse (a kind of extended shed with a bedroom kitchenette and bathroom) in the garden about twenty metres at the end of the garden. The guesthouse is visible from the house.

In the evenings we have taken to putting our baby (6 months) to sleep in the guesthouse while we stay in the mainhouse. We have a baby monitor and the house is door is locked. We know the area. We are also sleeping on the guesthouse.

DW and I both agree that this is safe as the risk is low. However, thinking about other famous cases (not drawing a parallel), we think it might be odd to let our baby sleep in a different building for part of the evening. Would you consider this sufficiently safe to allow your baby sleep in this situation?

OP posts:
Original poster
Zipfer · 12/07/2021 22:28

No. Not in a million years. I wouldn’t be able to sleep

But we’re not sleeping in the main house. We are sleeping with the baby in the same room

OP posts:
bellie710 · 12/07/2021 22:28

I would not have a problem doing this where I live, it is literally the safest place on the planet, but I don't think I would be comfortable doing it anywhere else.

SwayingInTime · 12/07/2021 22:29

Genuinely confused by all the ’no’s….can’t see a problem at all.

Cap89 · 12/07/2021 22:29

@Happymum12345

No. Not in a million years. I wouldn’t be able to sleep.
They aren’t sleeping in the main house. They are putting baby down for a couple of hours before they join. They are sleeping with the baby overnight.
isthisouting · 12/07/2021 22:29

You cannot be serious.

Hardbackwriter · 12/07/2021 22:29

@Happymum12345

No. Not in a million years. I wouldn’t be able to sleep.
She's very clear that she sleeps in the guesthouse, with the baby! This is while they're awake and the baby isn't. I'd feel much less comfortable with it as an overnight arrangement but am baffled by the horror at doing it in the evening.
1frenchfoodie · 12/07/2021 22:30

If the baby monitor works then no problem, they are not streets away and it is just the gap between baby bedtime and yours.

bumpertobumper · 12/07/2021 22:30

I would be totally fine doing this

isthisouting · 12/07/2021 22:30

Sorry I read it as overnight baby in guesthouse and you in main!

But still I'd keep the baby in same house.

Seesawmummadaw · 12/07/2021 22:30

I would. You know the set up and you have decided it’s ok.
Hard to know without seeing it.

VaguelyInteresting · 12/07/2021 22:30

I wouldn’t, no. At such a little age I’d just keep them in the main house in a pram or asleep in a Moses basket then take them out to put them to bed when I went.

Original poster
Zipfer · 12/07/2021 22:31

I would not have a problem doing this where I live, it is literally the safest place on the planet, but I don't think I would be comfortable doing it anywhere else

To add a detail, this is my DW’s childhood home so we know the area very well

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 12/07/2021 22:31

Honestly. I only thought about it today, after a week, and thought that some people might find it unsafe.

I reckon someone in RL has pulled you up on it.

Catchthepigeons · 12/07/2021 22:31

So I understand on paper it sounds safe however the thought of leaving one of my dc in the same situation at that age makes me feel sick. It's not rational but instinct doesn't have to be

titchy · 12/07/2021 22:31

I'm not sure of the logic of locking the door if you're so close. You must acknowledge there's something fundamentally different and more risky than baby being upstairs if you're doing that.

And yes a fire alarm is no use if the door is locked.

MrsJuliaGulia · 12/07/2021 22:32

I wouldn’t. Would you not put him in the hall just outside the sitting room with the lights off and the door ajar? People chatting was always a bit like white noise for my baby at that age. Would sleep though it. But all babies are different.

Can anyone else access the guest house?

Mustreadabook · 12/07/2021 22:33

I don't think it is any different to them being in another part of the house that you can't see.

Sirzy · 12/07/2021 22:33

My biggest worry would be if the baby took ill. By the time you have got across, unlocked the house and got up to the baby a lot could happen.

Hardbackwriter · 12/07/2021 22:33

@VaguelyInteresting

I wouldn’t, no. At such a little age I’d just keep them in the main house in a pram or asleep in a Moses basket then take them out to put them to bed when I went.
I'm quite jealous of these babies that everyone else on the thread seems to have that can be moved around once asleep without waking up and screaming the place down... I can see why OP doesn't want to put the baby to bed once at 8pm and then again at 10pm.
MrsKoala · 12/07/2021 22:34

I wouldn't. At that age mine never even slept in another room in the same house away from me. They went with me everywhere.

Thekindofwindowsfaceslookinat · 12/07/2021 22:34

You should do what works for you at this time, OP

This phrase should not be an all-purpose, 'happy-mum-happy-baby', go-to piece of advice.

Sometimes what works for the parents isn't necessarily the best thing for a baby.

I wouldn't do this, OP. Instinct is a powerful thing and mine would counsel against it.

youngandbroken · 12/07/2021 22:35

Not a chance in hell. A fire alarm isn't going to get your baby out, a carbon monoxide alarm isn't going to get your baby out, a baby monitor isn't going to save your baby from choking/getting tangled - they can also fail without you even noticing. What if there were a break in? Just because something is unlikely doesn't mean it isn't possible. As babies I made sure my children were within seeing distance, I had a moses basket for downstairs and a cot upstairs, this is the norm in my family and among most of my friends.

Thekindofwindowsfaceslookinat · 12/07/2021 22:35

I reckon someone in RL has pulled you up on it

My thoughts exactly.

VaguelyInteresting · 12/07/2021 22:36

@Hardbackwriter

I didn’t say he wouldn’t have woken up... only what I would have done. DS woke up anyway 2-5 times a night to breastfeed until he was almost 2, though I appreciate this isn’t the case for everyone.

Hardbackwriter · 12/07/2021 22:36

I wouldn't do this, OP. Instinct is a powerful thing and mine would counsel against it.

But OP has clearly said that she feels fine with it - so why should she be parenting her baby by your instincts?!