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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let our baby sleep in a guesthouse in the garden

644 replies

Zipfer · 12/07/2021 21:52

We are in between moves and staying with family. Our family has a guesthouse (a kind of extended shed with a bedroom kitchenette and bathroom) in the garden about twenty metres at the end of the garden. The guesthouse is visible from the house.

In the evenings we have taken to putting our baby (6 months) to sleep in the guesthouse while we stay in the mainhouse. We have a baby monitor and the house is door is locked. We know the area. We are also sleeping on the guesthouse.

DW and I both agree that this is safe as the risk is low. However, thinking about other famous cases (not drawing a parallel), we think it might be odd to let our baby sleep in a different building for part of the evening. Would you consider this sufficiently safe to allow your baby sleep in this situation?

OP posts:
motogogo · 12/07/2021 22:10

I wouldn't but then I didn't put my babies to sleep in a separate room, they stayed with us until we went to bed then coslept at that age.

Waspsarearseholes · 12/07/2021 22:10

There is absolutely no way in hell I'd have done this with mine. Bloody hell, I'm amazed at those thinking it's ok to be honest. The advice for safe sleeping is that babies should sleep in their parents' room for at least six months. Not in a room in a different part of the house or a shed in the garden.

WorraLiberty · 12/07/2021 22:10

@Zipfer

Genuinely interested to hear this is so unanimous. We both (and our family) feel very comfortable with this. The guesthouse has a fire alarm by the way.
No you don't.

Or you wouldn't be banging away at your keyboard over it.

LtGreggs · 12/07/2021 22:11

I will be the (almost) lone voice saying I think it's an acceptable risk. And, I have done similar (a while back - mine are both teens now).

I think mumsnet posters are generally more cautious thanfolk I know in real life. About lots of things.

Mistressofnone · 12/07/2021 22:11

I felt better when I saw that you do join the baby from 10pm and don't sleep in the main house.

I'm very clingy with mine though and would just hold her asleep on me in the living room until we go to bed.

accentdusoleil · 12/07/2021 22:11

No.

Don't speak so loudly ?

Radio4ordie · 12/07/2021 22:12

@Ohpulltheotherone

Personally, no fucking way.

I suppose if you’re sat in the lounge looking out at the garden room having a cuppa with the baby monitor next to you then it’s not really any different to the baby being upstairs on an evening.

But something about it doesn’t sit right, I suppose because you can easily be distracted cooking dinner, chatting etc. The baby isn’t upstairs, theyre 20ft away in a different building.

Why take the risk when you could just stay in the guesthouse, take it in turns to nip to the house or sit in the garden having a glass of wine / socialising etc.

Gosh there is something really depressing about the idea of mum (let’s face it, it’s always mum) sitting in the dark on her phone whilst everyone else has fun, baby fast asleep. for no very good reason. Just a general anxiety that society wants to put upon her. No wonder so many women get PND.
Peppallama · 12/07/2021 22:12

@Zipfer

The logic of not keeping the baby sleep in the living room is that the lights would be on, we would be talking, and the baby is able to sleep in the dark and peace and quiet in his cot
So dim the lights a little and pop them in the hallway. Getting them used to noise is probably the best thing you can do for a good sleeper
Briarshollow · 12/07/2021 22:12

I’d do it. If it’s properly built and you have a monitor, how is it different to them being upstairs while you’re downstairs? Confused

We went camping and we’d put the baby to sleep in the camper van and use a monitor to keep an eye on them.

muddledmidget · 12/07/2021 22:13

Somehow for me, it seems worse that you lock the door. If it's safe enough to leave them in there unattended and you're watching and listening, I'm not sure I understand why you feel you need to lock the door, it just slows you down should you need to get back to them

MichelleScarn · 12/07/2021 22:13

Does the family you are staying with want you there every evening? Do you want to spend every evening with them?!

Ginger1982 · 12/07/2021 22:13

Nope, not a chance.

Briarshollow · 12/07/2021 22:14

I’ve also never understood people who insist on sit in the dark next to a sleeping baby and refuse to leave them in a room on their own. Why?!

SemiFeralDalek · 12/07/2021 22:15

In theory, it's putting a baby to sleep in a different room. Nobody else has access
You're also sleeping in there overnight etc.

In practice, unless all doors were open between me and the baby and I was sat close enough to hear a cry/baby be sick etc and be there in moments , absolutely not. I would never have a locked door between me and my unsupervised baby.

AnyFucker · 12/07/2021 22:16

If you were that comfortable with this, you wouldn’t be asking

SemiFeralDalek · 12/07/2021 22:16

@Briarshollow

I’ve also never understood people who insist on sit in the dark next to a sleeping baby and refuse to leave them in a room on their own. Why?!
My anxiety mainly 🤷‍♀️
GalaxyGirl24 · 12/07/2021 22:16

No, I'd just think of all the things that could go wrong with them being in a different building, even with the baby monitor. I mean imagine if a fire started and the smoke didn't show up on the baby monitor or you by chance didn't look at that moment...I know it's so unlikely but still. Or someone manages to get into the building and by the time you've checked it's too late.

I realise this sounds bloody awful and dramatic but I genuinely wouldn't do this OP,

Megan2018 · 12/07/2021 22:17

Jesus. Absolutely no way. What a bizarre thing to do. The fire risk for a start.
You really lack judgment.

20viona · 12/07/2021 22:17

No way

Applesandpears23 · 12/07/2021 22:17

How old is your baby?

OnTheBoardwalk · 12/07/2021 22:18

Nope from me

Viviennemary · 12/07/2021 22:18

I think it is extremely unsafe. It's serious neglect.

olidora63 · 12/07/2021 22:18

I genuinely cannot see a problem doing this.As long as the monitor is on with volume turned up and clear screen I think it is fine. If the garden is completely secure I would not lock the guesthouse though in case of the remote chance of a fire.

Original poster
Zipfer · 12/07/2021 22:19

If you were that comfortable with this, you wouldn’t be asking

Honestly. I only thought about it today, after a week, and thought that some people might find it unsafe.

OP posts:
CheddarGorge · 12/07/2021 22:19

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