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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Visitors with Covid symptoms

163 replies

BigPyjamas · 12/07/2021 19:35

We have friends visiting for a few days. One of their DTs has come down with a sudden and strong continuous new cough, she's got a sore throat and a sniffly nose but no temp (they haven't checked this but child seems ok to be fair).

They don't seem bothered and are laughing away 'definitely not Corona! Ha ha'

I'm silently horrified that they haven't packed up and gone, that they won't isolate or take a test. They don't believe in testing children, or isolating.

We're totally buggered if one of my kids gets it, from a logistics perspective with plans we have for next few weeks.

AIBU to be cross with their lack of concern? I don't want to make a fuss so am silently seething.

OP posts:
Tendonsandjoints · 13/07/2021 11:07

@NowEvenBetter

Why bother making a thread if you’re not going to tell them to get out of your house, and just give martyrish updates about the kid still coughing? Doesn’t sound like you have great taste in husband, or mates. Good luck with that.
Well that's a helpful post. Hmm

Maybe op posted because she wanted a sounding board or she just wanted to vent? She is allowed to make up her own mind about the advice she is receiving from posters on here.

And it can be much more difficult in RL to stand up to a friend, or difficult family member, than people imagine. Hence the myriad of threads on here describing exactly that issue.

EKGEMS · 13/07/2021 11:15

@Spinningaround21 I sure hope the OP's kids don't have any preexisting conditions because my kid spent nineteen days on life support due to RSV 20 years ago

NowEvenBetter · 13/07/2021 11:51

tendons no need to police my post, thanks. Yours isn’t ‘helpful’ either. It’s OPs gormless husbands mates. Can’t comprehend anyone preferring to catch an illness rather than say ‘please leave.’, like, it doesn’t make sense.

Tendonsandjoints · 13/07/2021 12:02

NowEvenBetter
I'm not "policing" your posts I am expressing an opinion about one of them.

NowEvenBetter · 13/07/2021 12:47

Really don’t care. HTH

QueenBee52 · 13/07/2021 13:21

@BigPyjamas

this is a really bad situation you find yourself in.. and in your own home too ... Im furious for you and Im frustrated at your inability to find your inner voice and scream in despair from the rooftops .. This is NOT SAFE for my children and I ...

I hope you find the support and strength to stop letting people walk over your wishes and fears.. I truly do... you will feel magnificent for it BigPyjamas...

I agree... get tested 🌸

Raindancer411 · 13/07/2021 13:37

I would never have them back to stay, to be honest. Can you do some LFTs for you and the kids for the next 10 days. I would have chucked them out but I have a baby so wouldn't think twice

Original poster
BigPyjamas · 13/07/2021 13:37

@NowEvenBetter

I don't think you have to have been on Mumsnet for very long that people don't post and immediately take the advice. Imagine all the 'ok, I'll just LTB, thanks guys'

My husband isn't gormless, we're both in an awkward position and as I couldn't vent in real life, I vented here.

As it happens, I have a non-martyr update. Friends left after breakfast. Child now feeling unwell, still coughing. The husband basically made them leave.

We will test today and are obviously now isolating for 10 days.

Whilst I accept a risk with seeing friends, I hadn't anticipated someone turning up with a coughing child, and then refusing to test or isolate, therefore forcing us to isolate.

Her parting comment was 'hope we haven't given you Corona'.

OP posts:
Tendonsandjoints · 13/07/2021 13:39

@NowEvenBetter

Really don’t care. HTH
Oh fhs, you complained about my specific post, so you obviously do!
GiantHaystacks2021 · 13/07/2021 13:46

First she said her dc did not have covid, then she swans out the door saying I hope we haven't given you covid.
I'd be so tempted to throttle her there and then.
I can't believe how cavalier she is being.

What was her DH's attitude overall this morning?

Original poster
BigPyjamas · 13/07/2021 13:51

Her DH was obviously embarrassed, trying to keep the little girl away from out kids, reminding her to cover her mouth when coughing. Don't know why he didn't find his embarrassment earlier.

I saw calpol and kids ibuprofen in their room so the child was obviously more unwell than they were letting on.

At least if they tested we won't have to isolate. The cough was awful, not a normal snotty nosed cough, a hard non-stop dry cough. On and on.

Anyway, they're off and we're isolating and our next week is ruined, as is the friendship but that's low on my priority list now.

OP posts:
GiantHaystacks2021 · 13/07/2021 13:57

Typical man - wait until the horse has thoroughly bolted and then decide to get off his arse to do something about it.

Can you all get yourselves tested quickly and maybe not have to isolate if you all get a negative result?

QueenBee52 · 13/07/2021 14:00

@BigPyjamas

Fantastic update if somewhat too little too late for you all...

I hope you are all okay Pyjamas .. this should never have happened to you.. fingers crossed for you all

Im glad your DH finally spoke out .. 🌸💕

GiantHaystacks2021 · 13/07/2021 14:04

I think it was the covid mother's DH, not the OP's.

QueenBee52 · 13/07/2021 14:25

@GiantHaystacks2021

I think it was the covid mother's DH, not the OP's.

oh I see....

not good 😔

Londoncanuck · 13/07/2021 14:40

@BigPyjamas

We have friends visiting for a few days. One of their DTs has come down with a sudden and strong continuous new cough, she's got a sore throat and a sniffly nose but no temp (they haven't checked this but child seems ok to be fair).

They don't seem bothered and are laughing away 'definitely not Corona! Ha ha'

I'm silently horrified that they haven't packed up and gone, that they won't isolate or take a test. They don't believe in testing children, or isolating.

We're totally buggered if one of my kids gets it, from a logistics perspective with plans we have for next few weeks.

AIBU to be cross with their lack of concern? I don't want to make a fuss so am silently seething.

That is 100% what my covid symptoms were at the beginning of June and I had Delta variant.
georgarina · 13/07/2021 16:11

@QueenBee52 @Mummyoflittledragon thanks, I'm ok, but have a cough and a lot of tightness in my chest and upper back that's getting more noticeable. DC was coughing and gasping badly in the night and has a fever. LFTs came back negative and I took us to a testing centre today but it was closed so we'll try again tomorrow.

It's upsetting because I've let her (and everyone else we're in contact with) know I'm high risk - third trimester plus gestational diabetes - and I've taken every possible precaution, given extra hand gel and masks and daily reminders. Now I just have to hope for the best.

QueenBee52 · 13/07/2021 17:24

@georgarina

it's closed ? good lord.. I hope you are be able to get there early tomorrow for testing 🌸

SingingInTheShithouse · 14/07/2021 17:03

Hope you've managed to get tested by now & it's not Covid.

I still can't my head around how awful I hope your ex GP friends behaviour was & all the worse given she's a GP, I'd seriously consider reporting her massively irresponsible behaviour if it is Covid. Either way she's brought you all a nice thank you fir putting us up gift of illness, that's going to ruin your plans. Selfish entitled bitch anyway you look at it

QueenBee52 · 18/07/2021 03:40

@BigPyjamas

how is everyone? any symptoms or tests results Flowers

Original poster
BigPyjamas · 19/07/2021 08:26

@QueenBee52

We are still negative but isolating.

Heard from 'friends' that other DT is now coughing but obviously no test and they're are carrying on as normal.

Discussed with DH that it's safe to say their behaviour was pretty shocking. We don't understand why they didn't leave ASAP and why they don't want to test the children. They're both 7yrs old, so not too tiny

OP posts:
User5827372728 · 19/07/2021 10:16

Surely their schools aren’t allowing them in with a cough and no test?

Scottishskifun · 19/07/2021 10:23

[quote BigPyjamas]@QueenBee52

We are still negative but isolating.

Heard from 'friends' that other DT is now coughing but obviously no test and they're are carrying on as normal.

Discussed with DH that it's safe to say their behaviour was pretty shocking. We don't understand why they didn't leave ASAP and why they don't want to test the children. They're both 7yrs old, so not too tiny [/quote]
If your tests were negative then you don't need to isolate for the next 10 days!

If you really wanted to be cautious then you can count 4 days from the second day they came and retest but if that's negative then your massively going overkill to isolate on something which isn't coronavirus.

Yes they were dicks with their behaviour but it sounds like your now swinging the other way by forcing your family to isolate for something which isn't necessary at all given negative tests.

Onset of symptoms or even pick up the virus is 3-5 days from exposure in the majority of cases.

Ponoka7 · 19/07/2021 10:23

You don't have to isolate, just test. We can't carry on reacting to children's coughing like this. No they shouldn't have come to yours. I'm ECV and babysit children who have coughs, as long as the adults test negative, the children don't have to be put through testing. Come winter the schools are treating Covid as flu. Your children will be in class with children who cough.

Mulhollandmagoo · 19/07/2021 11:03

You really don't need to isolate if you've tested negative, what is your reasoning behind that? so many people have been struck down with nasty colds that aren't covid - we have just recovered from one, tested negative but had a cough (felt really awkward being out though with my daughter coughing)