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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Visitors with Covid symptoms

163 replies

BigPyjamas · 12/07/2021 19:35

We have friends visiting for a few days. One of their DTs has come down with a sudden and strong continuous new cough, she's got a sore throat and a sniffly nose but no temp (they haven't checked this but child seems ok to be fair).

They don't seem bothered and are laughing away 'definitely not Corona! Ha ha'

I'm silently horrified that they haven't packed up and gone, that they won't isolate or take a test. They don't believe in testing children, or isolating.

We're totally buggered if one of my kids gets it, from a logistics perspective with plans we have for next few weeks.

AIBU to be cross with their lack of concern? I don't want to make a fuss so am silently seething.

OP posts:
Oceanos · 13/07/2021 09:20

they were working on the frontline in a major London hospital

It's very likely they all moved in to one person's flat together then... as many London doctors (particularly juniors) and nurses did to isolate with work colleagues rather than their families...

Lemonmelonsun · 13/07/2021 09:22

I also agree that actually it's not a given at all.
I think you should cut your losses and leave, good deal of corona issues come from how much viral load you get and the longer you stay the more your exposed too

GlencoraP · 13/07/2021 09:23

@Oceanos it’s a one bed flat I don’t think up to 40 visitors a day could be moved in together . Obviously some days there was no one but parties , loud music blaring , front door going , drinking on the roof we’re weekly occurrences . Apparently they ‘needed their down time’

RubyGoat · 13/07/2021 09:28

@HalzTangz

I would be contacting the workplace and complaining that one of their GPs is putting others at risk with their child's symptoms and that they shouldn't be working especially as they deal with vunerable people
I agree. Deliberately putting people's lives at risk.

Also, tell them to leave now. Do them some toast & fruit or something for the journey.

lunar1 · 13/07/2021 09:30

I'd have told them to leave. Reactions to the pandemic have completely changed many friendships, if they have Covid or not they didn't think your family worth minimising the risk for. They've potentially affected both your health and your income, the friendship is gone anyway.

PandemicPalava · 13/07/2021 09:32

It is most contagious before symptoms so she is right that the exposure has happened. However, they should still leave as there is every chance you haven't caught it and it gives you a better chance

Jent13c · 13/07/2021 09:44

Obviously she's not doing much face to face visits at the moment if she is so cavalier.

Please don't go to a hotel, or big days out. Realisitcally you have all been exposed. Monitor your fam closely for symptoms over next few days and isolate and test if anything arises. Shes not going to get them tested, waste of energy arguing with someone like that. Your family are not showing symptoms/have not been told to isolate by track and trace so realistically you have no social responsibility to isolate.

Am I opening a can of worms to query why people are so against getting their children tested? I hear all these discussions of how traumatising it is. Symptomatic children would have always been swabbed on admission to hospital in a similar fashion to test for influenza/RSV. Obviously children with ASD or previous abuse etc etc etc I can totally understand but a neuro typical child without any social concerns to have a quick tickle of their tonsils and often just nose if younger.

Mulhollandmagoo · 13/07/2021 09:46

Yeah, tell them they have to go - this morning!!! That's really unfair

But to ease your concerns, my daughter has a cough currently and is a bit under the weather but her test came back negative - as did my friends children! Kind of classic covid symptoms, so there are other bugs/viruses going around

Oceanos · 13/07/2021 09:47

Realisitcally you have all been exposed.

Bollocks, they have no idea if it's covid or not. Your entire post is full of assumptions.

LFTs for your family OP and then crack on with things, it most likely is one of the very many winter bugs going around right now.

AnyOldPrion · 13/07/2021 09:52

To those saying leave and book into a hotel? Have you really thought that through? The OP would then potentially be taking COVID into a different place with potentially hundreds of people passing through. I understand the concept of leaving, and if I had somewhere I could take my children and isolate, I would. But a hotel is a terrible idea.

OP, you have my sympathy. In times gone by, I’d have silently fuming as well, though I am getting much grumpier and ruder more assertive as I get older.

It’s probably not COVID, but it is rude and thoughtless. Sounds like the kind of thing where, if you don’t begin to assert yourself with your husband, you could gradually begin to resent the way he ignores your boundaries. Quiet seething is not a healthy dynamic.

myfuckingfreezer · 13/07/2021 09:54

I'm so utterly fucked off with their lack of concern

But not fucked off enough to say anything?!

Nanny0gg · 13/07/2021 09:55

@BigPyjamas

I can't just ask them to leave, I mean logically I can but from a friendship perspective, realistically, I just can't.

The kids are all asleep now, apart from the one that's coughing of course.

She doesn't much care about your friendship

I'd tell them to piss off

Mulhollandmagoo · 13/07/2021 09:55

@Oceanos

Realisitcally you have all been exposed.

Bollocks, they have no idea if it's covid or not. Your entire post is full of assumptions.

LFTs for your family OP and then crack on with things, it most likely is one of the very many winter bugs going around right now.

Do this!! this is calm measured advice.

There are other things in the world besides covid right now, I would however still ask them to leave! Its a bit shitty that they aren't at all fussed that they could make you ill

Jent13c · 13/07/2021 09:59

@Oceanos so either its covid or not. If its covid they have been exposed keep it in the house..don't go away to a hotel (pp were suggesting as GP won't leave, to minimise exposure) and spread to other hotel guests. If its not covid stay in the house and don't pay the price for the hotel because its just a cold. Do I think the whole gang should be going out for a big day out before they leave with an untested child coughing away? No. Realistically yeah it's probably not covid but keep your coughs and colds to yourself! And if it is covid then again keep it at home. Then once they leave i would agree get on with your life, take LFTs if you wish but be hypervigilant for symptoms and isolate and test if any arise.

Tendonsandjoints · 13/07/2021 10:02

I think I read that Covid is most virulent one or two before symptoms appear isn't it? Is that why your guest is saying she isn't worried? Trouble is, if it is Covid, her DC will probably be fine, but you are at greater risk. Does she not not have any patients with long Covid? Or has she become adept at distinguishing Covid from an ordinary cough? (Is that even possible?)

I am surprised that they wouldn't immediately pack up and go home though. An adult guest could isolate themselves and be extremely cautious but a child will be coughing indiscriminately and putting their hands everywhere.

I think it is possible to say politely to your friends that you are worried about long Covid and do not feel comfortable with a coughing child in the house. Tbh, they sound very insensitive as they should have taken the hint and offered to go when you first mentioned you were worried and had plans for the summer.

Agree with pps that many doctors, owing to the very nature of their job, can become a bit gung ho when it comes to their own families.

FlamingoQueen · 13/07/2021 10:12

If you and your family have potentially been exposed to COVID - then you will need to isolate for 10 days or until the child with a cough comes back as negative (which by the sound of it they won’t get them tested).

This is why it’s still going around. I would have kicked them out, sorry.

User5827372728 · 13/07/2021 10:15

@FlamingoQueen

Kicking them out would have been too late anyway as they would have to isolate as close contacts of kid has covid anyway

Rainbowsandstorms · 13/07/2021 10:16

I’d be furious. I think we all need to learn to be much clearer and more confident about our boundaries. I hugely sympathise, as it’s really socially awkward when you have opposing views but keep it simple and explain that you can’t afford for you or your children to catch whatever they have, as covid or not covid you’ll then be needing to self isolate and test with all the disruption that causes. The longer you’re exposed the more likely you are to pick it up and then he higher the viral load. I’d be explaining firmly that you need them to head home. There are lots of winter type bugs going around but there is also every chance it’s covid. I can’t believe she’s a GP!!!

Rainbowsandstorms · 13/07/2021 10:18

I’d also be asking if they can test so you know if you’re close contacts.

hellogem · 13/07/2021 10:19

I get you op as to why you can't simply ask them to go! It seems so simple but isn't. Your Gp friend won't do the test as it'll mean they all will have to isolate if positive and their plans ruined.
Unfortunately I know quite a few people that have had symptoms of Covid, quite unwell and refused to do the test as they didn't want it tracked by nhs, but they all carried on going out still, meeting other people. It's no wonder it spreads

tintodeverano2 · 13/07/2021 10:24

@BigPyjamas

I can't just ask them to leave, I mean logically I can but from a friendship perspective, realistically, I just can't.

The kids are all asleep now, apart from the one that's coughing of course.

Your house, your rules. She doesn't respect your friendship if she's willing to put your family at risk. Pretty disgusting that a GP isn't wanting to test her child too.
tintodeverano2 · 13/07/2021 10:29

Also, if one of you do test positive make sure you give her details to track and trace so they will all have to isolate and bugger up their plans too!

NowEvenBetter · 13/07/2021 10:30

Why bother making a thread if you’re not going to tell them to get out of your house, and just give martyrish updates about the kid still coughing? Doesn’t sound like you have great taste in husband, or mates. Good luck with that.

HollowTalk · 13/07/2021 10:58

I don't understand why you haven't asked them to go. Are they really taking him out in public? If this is really true then they should be reported.

GiantHaystacks2021 · 13/07/2021 11:03

That's dreadful.
I really don't know what else to say.