Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Visitors with Covid symptoms

163 replies

BigPyjamas · 12/07/2021 19:35

We have friends visiting for a few days. One of their DTs has come down with a sudden and strong continuous new cough, she's got a sore throat and a sniffly nose but no temp (they haven't checked this but child seems ok to be fair).

They don't seem bothered and are laughing away 'definitely not Corona! Ha ha'

I'm silently horrified that they haven't packed up and gone, that they won't isolate or take a test. They don't believe in testing children, or isolating.

We're totally buggered if one of my kids gets it, from a logistics perspective with plans we have for next few weeks.

AIBU to be cross with their lack of concern? I don't want to make a fuss so am silently seething.

OP posts:
Tinpotspectator · 13/07/2021 03:18

She is a GP and they don't believe in testing. I don't believe you.

QueenBee52 · 13/07/2021 03:23

@Tinpotspectator

She is a GP and they don't believe in testing. I don't believe you.

it's an oddity indeed 🤔

georgarina · 13/07/2021 03:29

You can take it seriously without being snarky, just be sure you're communicating that you're taking it seriously and not laughing about it - 'ok, she can isolate in here, then you need to make plans to get home and get a test.'

They can laugh and roll their eyes, it's up to them.

My childminder last week told me she had a 'little cough' and it definitely wasn't covid - she'd been looking after DC all day and now we all have symptoms and I'm 8 months pregnant. So angry at all these people who only think about themselves.

QueenBee52 · 13/07/2021 03:51

@georgarina

cripes.. that is awful... I hope you and your family are okay ... 🌸

StrongLegs · 13/07/2021 04:43

That's crazy. I have a relative who got cold symptoms this week and refused to test, and blew my lid at them and insisted. This is going to sound incredibly 1950s but I think that as the women in society we are the sensible heads, and if people round about us are being this dumb then we should take charge and make them behave.

Your GP friend sounds like a total idiot and your DH is being useless. Please take charge of the situation.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/07/2021 05:16

I agree with you that they should have fucked off at the first sign of symptoms, but I do also agree that, if the child DOES have covid, then it probably IS too late and it's likely your household will be affected anyway, regardless of when they leave. Them staying longer does increase the amount of virus they're spreading around though (whichever virus it is).

Their cavalier attitude to the whole thing does rather suck though, and I would also be fuming.

Back at the start of this, one of my friends, whose kids are at school with my younger DC, her parents went on the Ruby Princess (in Australia, obvs). Then came home and were notified of the first cases on the Ruby Princess. I sat and fretted about it because they all live together, so if the grandparents had it, then the kids, at school with my DC and others, might have it too.
In some people's eyes, I may have over-reacted by pulling my DC out of school within half an hour of this knowledge - but that's still what I did, and the school contacted my friend to get the full story and she then picked up her kids too.
Next week we all went into lockdown over here.

As it turned out, the kids were fine, BUT one of the grandparents was covid-positive - so I still think I did the right thing. And I still think your DH's friends are doing the wrong thing - but I guess nothing will change now, apart from your feelings towards them, and their chances of ever coming back to stay again!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/07/2021 05:17

@Tinpotspectator

She is a GP and they don't believe in testing. I don't believe you.
What's not to believe? GPs aren't immune to having their own ideas about testing children and the efficacy of vaccines.
Mummyoflittledragon · 13/07/2021 06:14

Wow this is ridiculous. Why do they get to decide when they leave? Seems to be theme with cheeky fuckers, doesn’t it? My husband has been the same with his friends and put their comfort before my health until the point, where I was ill and he ended up calling an ambulance. These people have not visited us again and will not either. Funnily enough they wouldn’t host us. Hmm

To the person, who is 8 months pregnant, sorry can’t see your post again. I hope you’re ok Flowers.

Spinningaround21 · 13/07/2021 06:20

It may not be COVID: RSV normally more a winter virus is rife amongst kids at the minute however you don’t know this. Very similar symptoms. But it’s plain rude. You don’t believe in testing, I don’t believe in you staying any longer.

Original poster
BigPyjamas · 13/07/2021 07:21

So the coughing child remains, cough cough cough. I've not heard a cough like it. Constant, 4 coughs a minute.

I agree it's too late, if it is Covid we'll have caught it. And obviously I'm aware there is a risk in mixing but had no idea they'd treat us like this.

If my child has a cough I would absolutely isolate and get a test. No question. However in this scenario am I now saying 'you crack on with your plans for a trip out (to an outdoor place) we will all stay here and isolate'? Oh the hideousness. I will speak to my husband about changing our plans now.

I'm so utterly fucked off with their lack of concern, with her disregard for my children's health and our other plans. With her view that the minor discomfort of her children in testing stumps everyone's health and well being.

The most we've had is 'I'm sorry she has a cough, it's bad timing'.

I asked what she's do, if she didn't test, if her DT was still at school but had a cough. She said she'd keep her off until the cough went and send her back in. No isolating, no regard for others, no test.

Obviously this reshapes my entire view of them as friends.

OP posts:
akwhdhdbaa · 13/07/2021 07:24

@BigPyjamas

So the coughing child remains, cough cough cough. I've not heard a cough like it. Constant, 4 coughs a minute.

I agree it's too late, if it is Covid we'll have caught it. And obviously I'm aware there is a risk in mixing but had no idea they'd treat us like this.

If my child has a cough I would absolutely isolate and get a test. No question. However in this scenario am I now saying 'you crack on with your plans for a trip out (to an outdoor place) we will all stay here and isolate'? Oh the hideousness. I will speak to my husband about changing our plans now.

I'm so utterly fucked off with their lack of concern, with her disregard for my children's health and our other plans. With her view that the minor discomfort of her children in testing stumps everyone's health and well being.

The most we've had is 'I'm sorry she has a cough, it's bad timing'.

I asked what she's do, if she didn't test, if her DT was still at school but had a cough. She said she'd keep her off until the cough went and send her back in. No isolating, no regard for others, no test.

Obviously this reshapes my entire view of them as friends.

As a GP she must know coughs can last for weeks, that would be a long time to keep them off school when she could just test them, get a negative and send them back. How bizarre!
HalzTangz · 13/07/2021 08:17

I would be contacting the workplace and complaining that one of their GPs is putting others at risk with their child's symptoms and that they shouldn't be working especially as they deal with vunerable people

HalzTangz · 13/07/2021 08:31

[quote Suzi888]@Comefromaway you are incorrect. You don’t have to be in receipt of any benefits or on a low income. Confused There is no savings threshold either.
So you could earn £5,000 a week AND have £100k in the bank. But whilst isolating you would have to earn under £500 (or less) for that period.

I work for an L.A and we actually assess some of these payments.[/quote]
This rubbish, I rent a property, my Tennant weekly take home pay is 425, they got symptom and applied and was rejected because their take home pay was more than 340 a week

Aprilx · 13/07/2021 08:40

I don’t understand why you have invited people to stay with you if you are that worried about plans being upset over the next few weeks. More people in the house is naturally going to increase risk and they could have had no symptoms but still passed it on.

Oceanos · 13/07/2021 08:48

I don’t understand why you have invited people to stay with you if you are that worried about plans being upset over the next few weeks. More people in the house is naturally going to increase risk and they could have had no symptoms but still passed it on.

This, particularly if she's a GP.

However, GPs know full well that the chances of it being a run of the mill winter bug, one of the many that are now suddenly doing the rounds, are much more likely than COVID.

No GP should be sharing they don't agree with testing children in a Public Health crisis though...

Very odd.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 13/07/2021 08:55

One is a GP
Jesus wept

This is my experience too, I've fallen out with a family friend who is a GP as she's a millitant anti vaxer.

I'd be prepared to lose this friendship OP, I'm not prepared to put my family at risk of isolation /illness because of crack pot views. I'd definitely ask them to leave...NOW.

caughtinanet · 13/07/2021 09:02

I agree it's too late, if it is Covid we'll have caught it

Just so you know this is absolutely not a given. Even pre vaccinations it was around 50% for inter household transmission, it seems logical that the figure will now be lower. Are the adults double jabbed?

ItsSnowJokes · 13/07/2021 09:05

You are being a passive mug OP. I would be saying they have to leave immediately. How are you going to feel if a member of your family catch it and get long covid? Even if it is just a cold you say you have plans the next few weeks do you want a cold circulating around you all making you feel lousy?

Stand up for yourself. If it "ruins the friendship " it wasn't a friendship to begin with.

LittleMG · 13/07/2021 09:08

Agree with ops last post this friendship is over. Can’t believe it really wheat a terrible thing to happen to you. This is why I don’t have any friends

Snog · 13/07/2021 09:09

Wow. I Absolutely would expect a friend to go home in this situation and would have insisted on it if they were reluctant.
The stakes are too high to do differently in my opinion. If I lost a friend over it then I wouldn't think the friendship was that great in the first place.

Snog · 13/07/2021 09:12

Fundamentally OP your friend has behaved very badly but the responsibility is on you to protect yourself and your children.

Oceanos · 13/07/2021 09:13

OP - have you done Lateral Flow Tests on your family?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 13/07/2021 09:14

agree it's too late, if it is Covid we'll have caught it

Not the case at all

GlencoraP · 13/07/2021 09:17

My ds has Doctors living in the flat above her. They had so many parties during lockdown that the police were called by neighbours , they were working on the frontline in a major London hospital 😮

Lemonmelonsun · 13/07/2021 09:19

Hi pp, you poor thing, this sort of thing is so stressful, I know because I've had a year of it, dc presenting with symptoms but firmly telling me, it's not corona!

Swipe left for the next trending thread