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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'Where Are They Now' if AIBU threads?

716 replies

MolyHolyGuacamole · 12/07/2021 14:06

Do you even find yourself suddenly remembering a particular scenario, and wondering where the people involved are today, if the behaviour is still carrying on, did she ever LTB, etc?

Even if the thread had a resolution to the scenario, if things ever repeated again?

The one that came into my mind vividly today was about a woman who'd gone to collect her child (believe it was a DD) and came home to find that her husband had left the key in the door on the other side meaning they couldn't get in, and despite being able to see 'D'H in the window and signalling to him, he refused to come and open the door as he was on a work call? From memory they were left waiting for about an hour and DD had to wee in the garden.

I remember feeling so outraged for her, and find myself wondering now if it was just a one off or if the bastard has continued doing shitty things to them.

Any other ones that have left an impression?

OP posts:
rantymcrantface66 · 16/07/2021 08:22

I remember one where a family was on a holiday of a lifetime OP had saved for and it was OP's dream experience the next day. OP's husband was not taking his medication or had changed it and was having a severe manic episode. OP and dc were frightened and I was very worried about them getting home safely. Not sure how that ended and if OP got her experience trip.

Another poster always stands out. Can't remember the original subject of the post but she was catering to the every whim of her 7 or 8 year old ds cooking fancy meals that he then wouldn't eat so she'd make a new one. He spent all the time in his fancy bedroom on computer and OP ended up posting loads of pictures of this hugely extravagant house, describing fancy holidays yet didn't work and was a single parent. I'm sure she posted again that the older ds had snapped and hurt the younger and no longer wanted to stay at home. There was a huge issue about patio furniture because she wanted her mum to come over and intervene with the boys but due to covid the stuff she had didn't allow for distancing without moving it and she didn't want to move it and have it looking not perfect. I'm sure she denied being the same poster but the scenario, the pictures of a super posh house, and the writing style was identical. I wonder if she's still around.

ToffeePennie · 16/07/2021 08:43

I always wonder about a lady (I think her name had pink or purple in) with the horrible daughter in law who wouldn’t let her see her grandson. I remember she was desperate to have some kind of contact, even if it’s just a cuddle with the daughter in law supervising, but OP had been labelled toxic or something by the daughter in law. I often wonder if that baby has grown up with his grandma in his life.
I also wonder about the mad lady who was going around with a men’s cycling group and the OP was the wife. I genuinely think that the lady in question was gunning for one of the chaps. It was just too bizarre!

whynotwhatknot · 16/07/2021 11:11

@CoolCatTaco thats it brian-she was about to leave and he persuaded her to stay and she never came back to the thread i do worry about her

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 16/07/2021 11:30

But if no one is verifying their suspicions with any solid evidence, how do you know it’s not just circular confirmation bias?

I don't. Nobody does, unless there's something concrete like an inconsistent posting history. It's just balance of probabilities.

Oldbutstillgotit · 16/07/2021 14:00

Does anyone remember the OP whose husband upgraded his flight and left her and her DC with no money in America ( I think) can’t remember full details but it stuck with me for ages.
Also the OP whose husband made her eat paper .

AlternativePerspective · 16/07/2021 14:54

But if no one is verifying their suspicions with any solid evidence, how do you know it’s not just circular confirmation bias? you don’t, but tbh often It becomes apparent as time goes on.

So e.g. a poster posts some kind of thread which may or may not be believable, and it is reported and deleted. Said poster then creates a new account and posts another, entirely different thread on a different subject, which again is reported, and so a picture builds.

Also there are trolls who don’t just stick to one site. So e.g. Dizzymare who posted about losing twins and who was outed as a troll was banned from here, but carried on posting on other sites including baby loss forums. She then started posting pictures of her dead babies on one of those forums, and someone confirmed that the pictures had in fact been lifted from the internet. So she was officially outed about 6 months after she was banned from MN, but even though there wasn’t any concrete proof when she was banned from here, she was 100% a troll.

The same with Oliver’s army, another who lifted pictures from online.

bruffin · 16/07/2021 15:40

I found MN because of a troll that posted on all parenting sites. They had a fetish for school girl kilts, and large toddlers in cloth nappies. (Liked their safety pins) they still crop on MN well over 10 years later

Belledan1 · 16/07/2021 15:50

The lady whose teenage daughter was being harassed by an older guy at work. They told the boss in the end. Always wondered if the girl was ok as I know planning to go back to work.

Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 15:53

@Oldbutstillgotit

Does anyone remember the OP whose husband upgraded his flight and left her and her DC with no money in America ( I think) can’t remember full details but it stuck with me for ages. Also the OP whose husband made her eat paper .
Think often about both of these stories

How sad

Felt so angry that people can treat others so badly

HaveringWavering · 16/07/2021 16:13

@bruffin

I found MN because of a troll that posted on all parenting sites. They had a fetish for school girl kilts, and large toddlers in cloth nappies. (Liked their safety pins) they still crop on MN well over 10 years later
But why did that lead YOU to MN? Shock. I feel there’s a bit if story missing here Grin
Ijsbear · 16/07/2021 16:32

[quote Biscoffbiscou]@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

But if no one is verifying their suspicions with any solid evidence, how do you know it’s not just circular confirmation bias?

I.e. there’s a belief that certain types of threads ‘seem’ like trolls, which is then its own justification for taking them down (whether they’re really troll threads or not), which then reinforces the original belief that any thread with X characteristic must be a troll thread.

I had a thread removed in the past with a confident message left in its place stating that the thread wasn’t genuine – but that was incorrect – I was a genuine person with a real life situation, and the thread had been removed based simply on a ‘hunch’.[/quote]
I used to moderate forums too.

You're right, but so is heyDemons. Some people really have a distinctive style that you get to recognise, both linguistic and in terms of content and attitude. You can be pretty certain about them.

But sometimes it's more of a guess and you aren't always going to get it right as a Mod, which mean innocent people get treated unfairly.

If you don't ~try~ to keep on top of the hairy handed though, things spiral downwards very badly. Normal board readers might not obviously detect a troll but when a board is too infested with them, a certain plastic feel arrives and real people stop posting. And when you're dealing with the charmers who try to con people out of money, you have to do something.

Ijsbear · 16/07/2021 16:41

It used to be quite interesting to correlate IPs and pieces of info and such like. Not new news, but it is amazing and scary just how much you can find out about an individual given 3 pieces of random info.

bruffin · 16/07/2021 17:11

@HaveringWavering
Not really, they were a persistent poster on 3 other parenting sites i was on and they used the same username!
I was bored and googled the username and it turned up MN as well asking for kilts for school girl uniform.
Parentscentre was a government run parenting site and it was a fetishist dream. They closed it down in the end as it was so badly run.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 16/07/2021 18:32

At the end of the 90s, the BBC thought it would be a great idea to open messageboards for all their programmes and all sorts of other topics. Steep learning curve! The cost of moderation must have been huge. They moved rapidly away from that model. Many commercial competitors complained that the BBC was offering all this free stuff and it wasn't fair. I don't think they have any left now.

Perching · 16/07/2021 20:28

Gentleotter and their farm in Scotland with a mean landowner

Teaandjam · 16/07/2021 22:06

I alway wonder about the poster that found something on her husbands phone that she didn’t like. Lots of people were telling her to LTB. I always wonder if she did and how she feels now.

LeopardPrintTits · 16/07/2021 23:11

How could I forget the lady who would do anything but tell her DS ‘no’ when he insisted on taking his ‘super-soaker’ to a birthday party! Grin Her inability to listen to any of the advice given almost made me tear my hair out! The weirdest part, imo, was her repetition of the word ‘super-soaker’ in almost every single update she made Confused

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 17/07/2021 00:54

I wonder if this poster (and some of the others on that thread) are feeling a little foolish www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3520097-AIBU-to-ask-family-to-bring-their-own-food

Amandasummers · 17/07/2021 06:16

Can someone explain how the rainy puddles thing was outed at a troll?! I haven’t seen anything to that effect but rheee must be a reason people are saying it

Wallpapering · 17/07/2021 06:27

I remember woman that used to travel buses all night as didn’t always have somewhere to stay. Would post when could get phone charged just for company. Not sure name like odd socks or odd shoes?

Wasn’t your grifter as loads offered to help her

bruffin · 17/07/2021 06:49

@Amandasummers

Can someone explain how the rainy puddles thing was outed at a troll?! I haven’t seen anything to that effect but rheee must be a reason people are saying it
She had a NC fail in the ABC parking threads. But it was just unbelievable,
ablutiions · 17/07/2021 07:28

I remember maybe 3-5 years ago a lovely lady who'd come into a bit of money and decided to treat all of her friends to a lovely weekend away. Then one of the (entitled) friends started complaining and bitching about all sorts and making the OP very sad and uncomfortable. It ended with her planning to go on the trip without the horrible lady, egged on by all of us vipers. I never did hear how that turned out.
She was so lovely and generous and her 'friend' was just appalling. I hope she had a lovely time Smile

ablutiions · 17/07/2021 07:43

@feellikeanalien we are thinking about the same thread. I'd forgotten the husband thing. God I hope she told them where to go.

Geamhradh · 17/07/2021 08:25

@Wallpapering

I remember woman that used to travel buses all night as didn’t always have somewhere to stay. Would post when could get phone charged just for company. Not sure name like odd socks or odd shoes?

Wasn’t your grifter as loads offered to help her

As has been said, she went to meet-ups, seemed very normal,slept on a MNer's sofa at one point. Had to be asked to leave by the MNer's husband iirc. I have always had a sneaky suspicion that she and another poster mentioned on here are the same person.
Wallpapering · 17/07/2021 10:02

Thanks Geamhradh

There’s a few I remember but given all programs been watching since lockdown hard to know if they tv program plot or real MN

I don’t really remember usernames since those that were around time of catTheThief. Can’t even remember what my username was that got added to condolences list.

She was funny and great loss

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