AIBU to have wanted to eat my cakes?

[IWantedTheCake]

NC in case anyone from work recognises this.

I've had a pretty full-on time at work the last few months, and was over the moon to find out I'd been put forward for one of the annual staff awards. It's really nice to have that recognition! Normally they'd have a big ceremony with a lunch, but what with covid it's online instead. As a congratulations for being nominated and in place of the lunch, the directors sent out a box of really nice cakes to everyone nominated. I'm up against a lot of senior and important people so know I won't get the award, but it was nice to be nominated and really nice to be sent these cakes.

I was real chuffed so obviously told DH, who said to save a slice for him. Which is fine, of course I'm going to share with him!

But there were 6 slices, I have had 1 already, and was hoping to have one with a cuppa while we have the online ceremony. But 5 minutes after DH came in today I heard him giving some to DD. I got a bit annoyed as they have a lot of sugar, she's only 2, and she'd already shared an ice cream with me at the park this afternoon, but I thought its not worth getting into an argument over.

Then I saw the empty box in the recycling. Went to double check in the fridge, and yep, they're all gone. I had 1 slice out of the 6. He and DD (but mainly him) have scoffed the rest. I know it's probably petty, but it feels like such a kick in the teeth. I worked really hard, taken on lots of extra responsibilities, and was just really looking forward to enjoying those cakes as a reward.

I told him I was annoyed, explained that 1. DD has already had enough sugar today 2. I was planning on saving a slice for the ceremony and 3. They were my bloody cakes! He's got all defensive, said I should've told him not to touch them, and is now in a huff saying he'll go to the shops and get me another cake if it's that big a deal, all passive-aggressive like. AIBU here?

My EX husband was a greedy bastard like this. Eg: He’d eat my cheesecake which I’d saved because I couldn’t finish it after the main course. I bought a very expensive, special jar of jam. I took a tiny spoonful to taste some. It was absolutely delicious. He polished off the whole lot in 2 days.
I spent ages making a starter of 6 stuffed courgettes for a dinner party for 4 of us and he dived in and took FOUR of them, leaving 3 of us to share 2. Greedy bastard. I despised him eventually.
Like your cake stealing partner, it suggests general selfishness and disregard for others.
But maybe your OH isn’t as bad as my ex 😊

YANBU. That's really fucking rude. They were your gift and he took them himself.

My 3 year old would know not to do that.

Does he normally do things like that?

He was greedy, selfish, and wrong. I think maybe a part of him knows that and is doing the old deny and deflect. Doesn't make it right, and you deserve an apology, although I probably wouldn't want replacement shitty cake, juts the apology. How did the award ceremony go at least x

I’m going to go against the grain here and say that this whole thread is a complete overreaction.

As usual with MN threads you came on here just to have a bit of a moan and the mn collective have now convinced you that your DH is a gaslighting abuser who is clearly jealous of your success because he ate some cake which had been there for days.

Yes, he was a bit thoughtless. But the cake had been there since wednesday. So it’s not as if they arrived yesterday and he gutsed down 4 slices.

While he should have checked, I think that cake that has been left in the fridge for 5 days is probably fairly safe to assume it’s unlikely to be eaten. Plus you said you had half a slice on Wednesday and half on Thursday. So for 3 days you didn’t even think about them and were then surprised that they’d been eaten? How long would you expect the cake to have been left for? After 5 days it would have been going stale anyway.

Obviously him giving you one and then scoffing 4 himself is plain rude. Is he always like this?

It wouldm't bother me. I would be pretty hacked off at being given cakes for hard work by the director of a private company who is my employer.

Oh I’d not realised you’d had them since Wednesday. They must have been going a bit stale by Sunday? To be honest that does change it a bit. He still should have said, but you were leaving them so long they would soon be a bit inedible.

Oh they had been there for 4 days op? Wouldn't they be starting to go dry?