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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to have wanted to eat my cakes?

133 replies

IWantedTheCake · 11/07/2021 17:20

NC in case anyone from work recognises this.

I've had a pretty full-on time at work the last few months, and was over the moon to find out I'd been put forward for one of the annual staff awards. It's really nice to have that recognition! Normally they'd have a big ceremony with a lunch, but what with covid it's online instead. As a congratulations for being nominated and in place of the lunch, the directors sent out a box of really nice cakes to everyone nominated. I'm up against a lot of senior and important people so know I won't get the award, but it was nice to be nominated and really nice to be sent these cakes.

I was real chuffed so obviously told DH, who said to save a slice for him. Which is fine, of course I'm going to share with him!

But there were 6 slices, I have had 1 already, and was hoping to have one with a cuppa while we have the online ceremony. But 5 minutes after DH came in today I heard him giving some to DD. I got a bit annoyed as they have a lot of sugar, she's only 2, and she'd already shared an ice cream with me at the park this afternoon, but I thought its not worth getting into an argument over.

Then I saw the empty box in the recycling. Went to double check in the fridge, and yep, they're all gone. I had 1 slice out of the 6. He and DD (but mainly him) have scoffed the rest. I know it's probably petty, but it feels like such a kick in the teeth. I worked really hard, taken on lots of extra responsibilities, and was just really looking forward to enjoying those cakes as a reward.

I told him I was annoyed, explained that 1. DD has already had enough sugar today 2. I was planning on saving a slice for the ceremony and 3. They were my bloody cakes! He's got all defensive, said I should've told him not to touch them, and is now in a huff saying he'll go to the shops and get me another cake if it's that big a deal, all passive-aggressive like. AIBU here?

OP posts:
MummBraTheEverLeaking · 11/07/2021 17:31

And yes, it has to be of a similar quality or better, don't accept a meagre box of cheapo crap flung in your direction!

NewlyGranny · 11/07/2021 17:32

Yup. Greedy gannet scoffing all your reward! Make clear that the replacement has to be from a high end bakery, and he gets none.

I seem to remember he asked you to save him a slice and you promised you would; how come he didn't save one for you, who had earned the accolade?

Is he resentful of the recognition you receive at work generally? Perhaps he was removing the evidence that you are valued by others?

AdaThorne · 11/07/2021 17:32

I'd definitely send him out to buy more!

StepladderToHeaven · 11/07/2021 17:32

I can't believe he ate four slices of your cake and is in a huff about it!!

Puffalicious · 11/07/2021 17:32

Arsehole. DH loves cake much more than me but he would never do this. How unfeeling.

Popcornbetty · 11/07/2021 17:33

Whoah i'd be furious, how big were the cakes? I'm imagine 6 huge slices cut from a triple layer cake and wondering how he could eat all 5 then thinking they must be quite small? It doesn't matter though as it was a lack of respect on his part! He thinks he can replace them so easily as if any will not do when you'll want the same ones. Can you get him to order from the exact same bakery?

iklboo · 11/07/2021 17:33

That's so greedy and mean. Does his idea of 'share' mean he gets the most? And he's chucked his toys out of the pram because you called him out on it? Prannock.

EKGEMS · 11/07/2021 17:33

What a selfish asshole! He should've choked on it

Popcornbetty · 11/07/2021 17:33

imagining *

Reallybadidea · 11/07/2021 17:34

It's not just rude and greedy, it's downright nasty IMHO. Do you think he's jealous of you getting recognition at work?

NewlyGranny · 11/07/2021 17:35

Scoffing the lot is not sharing, is it? Sharing suggests equal shares. Sharing is what one person generously does, but he presumed on your generosity without even asking.😠

IWantedTheCake · 11/07/2021 17:35

I can't tell if he's being passive-aggressive because he genuinely thinks he's in the right or because he's feeling ashamed and is lashing out.

They arrived on Wednesday- he gave DD a bit of two of the slices (they were different sorts) then had two halves of those slices himself. I had the leftovers of those slices on Thursday and Friday (so with DD's portion taken out I didn't even get a full slice!) I suspected he'd eaten one last night as I heard the rustling in the fridge, but had still expected there to be 3 left Sad

OP posts:
Lipz · 11/07/2021 17:35

Unless they were the size of those kipling fancies, then he's a greedy fucker. That's 5 cake slices cos your toddler probably didn't eat a whole one. I'd be so fucking livid.

I bet he'd go ape shit if you had not kept him one. Can they be replaced with the same ones?

MrsTumbletap · 11/07/2021 17:40

Going against the grain here, but it wouldn't bother me at all. As long as I had already had a piece.

DH had a birthday cake made by his mum that was left on the side today. Just under a half left. He is at work and I sliced it up and gave it to my friends and their kids today. It's all gone. Didn't even enter my head that he would care.

I can guarantee he will not be in the slightest bit bothered. I just couldn't get worked up over eating cake. Sorry I realise I am definitely in the minority here.

But congratulations on being nominated OP.

IWantedTheCake · 11/07/2021 17:41

They're like brownie/traybake size, but really nice ones! And very rich, I only just managed the half a slice each day, no idea how he's scoffed so much.

Think you might be on to something with him being resentful of me getting recognition. I've not been in the job long and they really look after their staff. He's in a senior role in a different industry where staffa are notoriously not looked after, and he's mentioned a few times how lucky I am and how he's jealous. I'd like to think he wouldn't stoop that low though, and that it's just from thoughtlessness rather than malice.

OP posts:
Weatherwax · 11/07/2021 17:42

You are not unreasonable at all. They were yours that you worked hard for, only to share IF you chose to.

My BFF bought me 9 v v v expensive yummy truffles from local chocolate shop when I'd given birth to 1st DC. DH ate 6 of them. NONE of them were for him, he didn't just have to give birth to a baby, they were mine! Specifically said by friend that they were for the act of having to give birth, not for having a baby. After severe words, he has never done it since. But never bought me any replacements. 13 years later..... 😆

notmyturnagain · 11/07/2021 17:43

I would also go ape shit and expect him to replace the cakes in full from the place they came from. Not Tesco or the closest supermarket.

What a greedy and selfish man.

Congratulations on your nomination and good luck for the awardThanks

IWantedTheCake · 11/07/2021 17:43

@MrsTumbletap It wasn't the cake itself, it was what it represented. Which sounds corny and stupid, but it's true. The job has been a tough learning curve for me and it was lively to receive something in recognition of that, even if it was "only" some cake.

OP posts:
Alleycat02 · 11/07/2021 17:44

He can bloody well go out buy you equivalent or superior quality cakes, right now 😡 I would have battered him! How greedy and selfish.

Iloveacurry · 11/07/2021 17:45

So he eat 4 slices? Very greedy

DuzzyFuck · 11/07/2021 17:45

Oh I was ready to say YWBU from the title but you are absolutely not! I'd have absolutely lost my shit with him, the greedy thoughtless pig Angry

I totally agree that a replacement cake isn't the same, but make him replace them with a lovely one anyway AND a bottle of something bubbly.

Congratulations on the nomination & good luck x

shouldistop · 11/07/2021 17:47

He's a dick. They were your gift and you nicely said he could have 1 slice. He had no business taking the rest.

I've got a real sweet tooth and have been pretty greedy while breastfeeding but when there's been something that's specially DHs I haven't touched it.

NewlyGranny · 11/07/2021 17:47

I think he could be jealous.

LittleRedPill · 11/07/2021 17:49

Greedy and selfish of him. A functional adult shouldn’t need to be told not to scoff 5 slices of cake that aren’t theirs.

Ourlady · 11/07/2021 17:51

He's a greedy horrible twat. I would be furious.

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