AIBU to have wanted to eat my cakes?

[IWantedTheCake]

NC in case anyone from work recognises this.

I've had a pretty full-on time at work the last few months, and was over the moon to find out I'd been put forward for one of the annual staff awards. It's really nice to have that recognition! Normally they'd have a big ceremony with a lunch, but what with covid it's online instead. As a congratulations for being nominated and in place of the lunch, the directors sent out a box of really nice cakes to everyone nominated. I'm up against a lot of senior and important people so know I won't get the award, but it was nice to be nominated and really nice to be sent these cakes.

I was real chuffed so obviously told DH, who said to save a slice for him. Which is fine, of course I'm going to share with him!

But there were 6 slices, I have had 1 already, and was hoping to have one with a cuppa while we have the online ceremony. But 5 minutes after DH came in today I heard him giving some to DD. I got a bit annoyed as they have a lot of sugar, she's only 2, and she'd already shared an ice cream with me at the park this afternoon, but I thought its not worth getting into an argument over.

Then I saw the empty box in the recycling. Went to double check in the fridge, and yep, they're all gone. I had 1 slice out of the 6. He and DD (but mainly him) have scoffed the rest. I know it's probably petty, but it feels like such a kick in the teeth. I worked really hard, taken on lots of extra responsibilities, and was just really looking forward to enjoying those cakes as a reward.

I told him I was annoyed, explained that 1. DD has already had enough sugar today 2. I was planning on saving a slice for the ceremony and 3. They were my bloody cakes! He's got all defensive, said I should've told him not to touch them, and is now in a huff saying he'll go to the shops and get me another cake if it's that big a deal, all passive-aggressive like. AIBU here?

Jeez and money is really tight but he can find the money to smoke. He really does put himself first doesn't he?

Your DH is a greedy cunt.

I’m not normally one to be dramatic, but this is a LTB offence!

You had me till you mentioned he smokes. You CAN afford to replace them!!

He ate your rewards AND he smokes? Tell him he'll be replacing them, even if he has to cut back on his smoking. Greedy fucker.

It’s about more than the cake, it’s about blatant disrespect for you and your achievement. I’d be gutted too.

@lastcall

He ate your rewards AND he smokes? Tell him he'll be replacing them, even if he has to cut back on his smoking. Greedy fucker.

Yep, this.

And if he won’t even consider it he’s even more of a selfish git.

He's greedy and selfish.

And I'd be absolutely furious if money was so tight that we couldn't afford a £12 treat - yet he smokes!

He can't afford to smoke if he can't afford to replace your cakes.

Well done on your nomination!

What a shit he was.

I’d tell him that actually yes, he did need to go and replace them.

What an arsehole.

I cant really be petty about him smoking - he smokes ruling tobacco so cheaper than cigarettes, plus I occasionally have the odd one after DD has gone to bed if I've had a really rough day, so it would be hypocritical to tell him to cut down in order to buy me cake iyswim.

He's generally pretty supportive. I have depression and have found the list year extremely tough, he always tries his best to support me. I'm lucky to have him really, he works really hard, loves DD, very rarely pesters me for sex, and often offers to give me and DD a lift in the morning to nursery on his way to work so we don't have to take the bus. He doesn't drink or watch sports or go out on benders with his mates. He works so hard that we only have a day all together about once every couple of months, but he's always up for doing something fun for DD on those days. I'm really lucky to have him, I'm not sure anyone else would've put up with me.

Yikes. I’d be telling him to replace it with the exact same ones, and he can go without smokes and snacks for a couple of weeks to pay for it.

He's bang out of order, greedy selfish pig.

His fag money can buy you new cakes this week, fuck that cheap kids cake mix.

You’re too broke to buy a £12 box of cakes but he smokes? How many packs or bags of tobacco per week?

What a selfish pr!ck! I'd be bloody fuming!!!!

Yea, I'd be absolutely livid if DP did that to me. And I would fully expect him to replace the cake, and forgo his tobacco.

He’s an absolute pig. And then to sulk and huff when confronted! Really shitty behaviour. YANBU at all.

Yanbu, greedy bastard.

You’re not really luck to have him, he’s really lucky to have you!

I feel bad for both of you but when you're greedy and have very little restraint this sort of thing can happen so easily. If my family have bought food that they really like I have to tell them to hide it from me in their bedroom or somewhere I won't find it as I am capable of doing this. I feel really bad about it but the lure of delicious chocolates or cake can be too much for some of us with zero willpower and you feel absolutely terrible about it and hate yourself for it.

I'm sorry, OP. That sounds selfish and greedy of your partner. If I could, I would send you a cake but I can't so have a virtual one instead.

He's a greedy selfish git.
Let that be a lesson to you, he doesn't respect or value you or your contribution at all.
In future, get your treats eaten when he is out, don't include him.

This is what you need, OP. Get a really nice single cake, or two so there's one for DD, or make a cake, and let him see it but not be able to reach it.

Desperate diseases require desperate remedies!

@vanillapannacotta seriously? Food has to be hidden from you even if you know it's not yours to eat?

@shouldistop binge eating disorder is a recognised eating disorder

Yes but it's hardly the norm is it? The pp mentioned it being 'easily done' but it's really not by most people. They also didn't say they had an eating disorder and op didn't say her dh had one so that's probably not relevant.