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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding Favours

260 replies

JaneSparrow13 · 10/07/2021 17:41

As a guest at a wedding, would you appreciate a favour that is something like a wine glass with the couples name and the date on it?

I feel like it would make a good gift for the couple actually getting married, but it's a little self-indulgent to expect guests to take home and keep something like that.

AIBU?

OP posts:
EileenGC · 10/07/2021 18:41

To add, this is the most important date of the couple’s decade probably, and they’re trying to make it memorable to the guests too. They ought to remember though, that their guests might be attending another 3 weddings just this year, so they really do not need another ‘once in a lifetime’ gift. It needs to be practical so their wedding doesn’t get remembered for the wrong reason (tacky favours).

Newmumatlast · 10/07/2021 18:42

I think sometimes people get so wrapped up in their wedding that they start to forget it isnt the same level of importance to others. If they want to provide them as they like the aesthetic I.e. they want photos of people using them that day then I understand why they may feel the expense is worth it even if people won't then keep them after (though really not environmentally friendly). Otherwise I think theyre mad as noone wants a random glass in their cupboard with other people's memory etched on it. Perhaps a nice personalised glass for each guest of their own name to double up as name place cards

Wriggleon · 10/07/2021 18:45

Terrible idea, think you need to talk her out of it especially if she will see how many are left behind as I can't imagine many would take them away

TempName01 · 10/07/2021 18:46

Talk her out of it, what a big waste of money! I don’t even want my own personalised glasses. Most favours I can think of have been a waste. I would suggest the favour be a drinks token for use at the reception 😄

RevolutionRadio · 10/07/2021 18:46

I wouldn't take one home, I have enough glasses we don't use.

I just had edibles, it was all eaten by the end of the night.

DeathByWalkies · 10/07/2021 18:47

The last thing I want is more tat.

I'd much prefer something edible or fun (disposable cameras, scratchcard, fortune cookies, sparklers if you're also having a fireworks display etc etc)

lazyarse123 · 10/07/2021 18:52

Bad idea. Good luck telling her. The nicest favour we got was a teacup and saucer, different for each guest, I think they must have spent months in charity shops to get enough. But then I have a little glass cabinet on my landing for such mementos not everyone's cup of tea I know.

OverTheWater · 10/07/2021 18:53

A friend gave out pencils with the couple's names and date. Incredibly weird. Glasses would be even weirder - at least the pencils should be used up eventually!

I also once received a pot plant as a favour which was lovely although I felt very guilty when I killed it.

Agree with pps- edibles, drinkables, scratch cards or lottery tickets all much safer options.

Hathertonhariden · 10/07/2021 19:05

If she goes ahead and you end up with a couple of them you'll just have to regift them back to her for their 1st wedding anniversary.

Can't imagine even close family using them. I'd be putting them on another table and claim they broke if she asked where they were in the future.

WhereYouLeftIt · 10/07/2021 19:06

Oh God, no! Just - no! That's taking bridezilla-ishness to a whole new level. 'Ooh I know, all my guests will be thrilled to have a reminder of my special day cluttering up their cupboards. Whee!' Whatever happened to sugared almonds in a bit of net?

If she must give some personalised crap to everyone, make it edible (like the sugared almonds of yesteryear) so that nobody is expected to house gifted tat on a permanent basis.

How about chocolate? www.notonthehighstreet.com/morsetoad/product/chocolate-wedding-favours

Wedding Favours
ThursdayWeld · 10/07/2021 19:06

No more clutter, thanks!

Pottedpalm · 10/07/2021 19:15

Pointless tat, as are most wedding favours. Who needs them ? Something else to spend money on when you are already paying for food and drinks. Nobody needs a reminder of someone else’s wedding!
Recently we were given a single odd teacup each, no saucer, doubtless sourced from charity shops. Ours went straight back to the charity shop; many were left behind on the tables. Not many rugby players in their 20s want a china teacup.

OhRene · 10/07/2021 19:19

@HollowTalk

Scottish tablet is disgusting!
Well it depends who's granny has made it! Mrs M from my MIL's street makes the most amazing tablet and we all make sure our kids head to hers on Halloween! MIL's however? Erm.. naw thanks.
omgthepain · 10/07/2021 19:19

My brother just had big oversized martini glasses full of lindt chocolate balls

There weren't many left on the tables!

I think people can waste a lot of money on them personally

mamaduckbone · 10/07/2021 19:21

Talk her out of it - it's weird!

FuzzyPuffling · 10/07/2021 19:23

Can you just imagine the charity shop the days after the wedding? Inundated with "Britney and Hubert" wine glasses.

FunMcCool · 10/07/2021 19:23

No I wouldn’t it’s cheesy/tacky. The only favours I appreciate are the ones that give to charity.

Youseethethingis · 10/07/2021 19:24

We went with charity badges at our wedding, one charity chosen each.
My friend recently followed suit and she's so glad she did because the favours were purchased pre Covid and her numbers had to be more than halved! The money went to important causes regardless, unlike if she had faffed about with pretentious personalised wine glasses Hmm

butterflies218 · 10/07/2021 19:25

We had cancer research badges, gave £350 to the charity. Blue for the men and pink for women.
Children had personalised boxes with colouring book and pencils etc.

FayeFayeFayeFayeFaye · 10/07/2021 19:28

We had herbs that I grew from seed in little pots. People took those.

I wouldn’t want a glass with someone else’s name on it, why would I? Can’t exactly charity shop it either.

Wine charms were the other pointless favours we got.

I did like the coasters with our names on which doubled up as place names. I took those home.

MenaiMna · 10/07/2021 19:29

I wouldn't have a wine glass with my own name and wedding date on it let alone someone else's! It's a huge waste of glass and effort. On the plus side... glass is easily recycled.

GameSetMatch · 10/07/2021 19:32

Who wants a wine glass with a random date on it, it won’t get used it will be stuck at the back on the cupboard for a few years then moved to the bin!

It needs to be something people can put in their bag or pocket. I did lottery tickets as favours they went down really well, at the evening celebration the DJ read out the lotto numbers so everybody could check if they had won.

Georgyporky · 10/07/2021 19:32

Noooo
Money is better spent on items for the couples' home.

sunflowerdaisies · 10/07/2021 19:32

We did port glasses (and port at every table on the night) and most took them home but definitely not personalised. I do still use a personalised tea towel from someone else's wedding. Also kept beautifully painted rock with my name in one side and wedding couple's details on the back, silver photo frame with me in and horse shoe (all doubled up as name places). I also love mini jams/chutneys and home flavoured gins/spirits. I don't like charity donations pins/cards - just make the donation, don't have to let all guests know! Been to plenty of weddings with no favours or some sweets which are also nice.

RaindropsOnRosie · 10/07/2021 19:33

At least the guest's own name on it would be better, I wouldn't want someone else's wedding date on a glass! Tell her it will cost too much, too risky and not personal enough. Or pretend you're not home.