AIBU- Dog vs neighbours allergic child !

[Henryhoover12]

Please can someone tell us if we’re being unreasonable or our neighbours are. We moved to a new house and really got on with our neighbours they are very lovely and we spend lots of time speaking to them. We mentioned that we were purchasing a dog In which they had mortified looks on their faces and explained their DC is extremely allergic to dogs (e.g can’t be in class with anyone who owns a dog etc has been in hospital) we kind of brushed it off and said we can speak about it closer to the time.

After that everytime we bumped into them they kept asking if we “changed our minds” which we found so awkward but in the end we told them not getting a dog wasn’t an option is we have always wanted one but are happy to work things out so it’s safe for their child. They took this badly and didn’t speak to us for a while. Closer to us picking up the dog we went around and asked what they would like us to do to ensure safety for their child.

One of the (long list of) rules was that we didn’t let the dog out while their child was in the garden. This seemed fine at the time until we realised their child is ALWAYS in the garden. And I mean always they have a little treehouse type thing that they play in so come rain and sunshine they are out there. At first we tried to play ball like if our dog wanted to wee we would walk him to the park 10 minutes but now it’s just getting ridiculous so we have started letting him go to wee when it’s raining outside because we really can’t be asked to walk 20 minutes just for that. The last time we did the mum came our and shouted at me saying I’m going to kill her child. AIBU to think that our dog has every much right to use our garden as the child? Our poor dog loves to be outside but is trapped inside because of this and I’m starting to think it’s really unfair

@BoxHedge

I did watch a documentary once where a child was so allergic to dogs that they did have to be really careful going for walks to cross the road etc, and couldn’t walk in the park. Their life was extremely restricted.

Assuming you believe the severity of the allergies, as it sounds like you do, then YABU. It’s not about rights. Your dog could kill their child, full-stop.

Yes, some people genuinely have allergies this severe. Like people who can't be in the same room as a someone eating a dairy product as their allergy is that bad.

We had a team away day where a colleague became very ill as someone who had previously stayed in the (thoroughly cleaned holiday home we were in) must have had dog with them - he was very allergic to dogs.

They are not doing this to piss you off. The thing that could kill their child is now next door to them. They must be beside themselves with stress. They are trying to keep their child alive but you keep framing this in terms of your rights and liberties. Not everyone can afford to move to a bloody wilderness, so people can stop making that argument.

If you have only recently bought the house is there any option of disputing the sale based on the grounds of an undisclosed neighbour’s dispute?

Do you really want to continue to live there? All the neighbours must deeply resent you.

You are taking away freedoms and a ‘safe place’ from a child whose life is already restricted and whose parents’ lives are full of worry. Now they will have to always check outside before letting their child out.

If they have to move house away from this safe family cul de sac, the child will not have as much contact with people, and presumably the school setup will not be guaranteed elsewhere.

Also all the neighbours will continue to hate you if they’re all family and you’re the cause of their family members being forced out.

It was really unfair to sell the house without disclosing all of this to you.

They are trying to keep their child alive but you keep framing this in terms of your rights and liberties.

This

Sounds like rubbish to me. If a kid was that allergic to dogs how would they manage to do anything! Dogs are everywhere! I certainly would be letting the dog out. They can get their kid in. Often pet allergies aren't from direct contact with the animal though. It's from the hair and dander left behind I believe?

Tell your neighbour to build a solid brick wall if they are that bothered by it.

You have to learn to expect your neighbours to have dogs. I would say 85 percent of houses on my street has a dog including us.

If their child's allergy were that severe, she would not be able to go to school

@BoxHedge that's ridiculous. How's she going to function as a adult? The allergy thing is bollocks. Get a dog but keep an eye out for vindictive behaviour and get cameras. If the clan don't like it then they can club together and but somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Twats

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

They sound barking mad.

Especially the way they're hound-ing the OP.

She's totally getting a ruff ride

What sort of fence is there now OP?If there's a wire fence I can understand why they're twitchy. Once a taller one is in place they can't have issue with the dog.

@HoldingTheDoor

Personally, I wouldn't have bought a dog if I had been told a child next door had a potentially fatal allergies to dogs.

Seriously? Do you normally allow your neighbours, who could move at any time, to dictate your lives like that?

Its more about not wanting to be responsible for a child's death tbh.

Its funny really, so many threads on here where people are outraged at those who allow their children to behave like children in public spaces, outrage at how parents think it is the 'right' of their children to cause nuisance to adults who want a bit of peace and quiet.

Yet on this thread the 'right' of someone to have a dog is given assumed priority over the right of a child to be protected from a potentially fatal allergen.

If she is that allergic I imagine the parents are worried about dog hair floating over, so a fence won't help. We have high fences but still get dandelions seeds floating over regularly.

Yeah it's not so much the allergy itself than all of the stress and tension caused with the neighbours and their family. Neighbour disputes can really ruin your life tbh. If it was so important to me to own a dog I would move. Lifetime of stress otherwise.

You don't think there's maybe another member of the family who is quite keen to move into the cul(t) de sac but wasn't quick enough last time your house went on the market? A family member who'd be quite happy to take the house off your hands for a reasonable sum/quick sale?

Can not believe anyone thinks you are being unreasonable and some on here that have said you are are literally bonkers.

You have done nothing wrong. I would have bought the dog still. It’s your life not theirs.

Would be very interested to see what would have happened if you had bought the dog before you moved in.

If their child is a bad as they say then they should have moved to a detached house in the middle of no where, they can not expect never to have a neighbour move in with a dog if you live near other houses.

Dandelion seeds are designed to float, dog hair won't of the fence is 6ft+ and solid.

We had a team away day where a colleague became very ill as someone who had previously stayed in the (thoroughly cleaned holiday home we were in) must have had dog with them - he was very allergic to dogs this isn't uncommon. But having an allergic reaction to something in a neighbouring garden which cannot fly around like pollen, isn't common at all. I think they have to be exaggerating.
I can't imagine in any way that they are telling the truth about nobody in the girl's class having a dog. Everyone has a dog these days except me so that's just impossible. And they can't avoid dogs when they go out, either. I don't know what they expect.

@ohfuckitall then the neighbours need to move, they cannot dictate what their neighbours do in their own house and garden. What if OP already had a dog, would she be expected to rehome it?

More answers:
-The person who lived before us had no pets so need to disclose this.
-why should we sell our home we have just brought it through the stress of a pandemic moving again is not something we wanted to do. Additionally what if the next place we moved to had the same issue!
-for those saying we’re selfish, if I had a airborne nut allergy does that mean that nobody in the neighbourhood is allowed nuts?

Do you want to swap with my neighbours OP. They have two dogs. Your neighbours can move in next to me and be very safe

This is absolutely stupid. You should not have to suffer because of their child’s alleged allergies.

Firstly, I really doubt it’s this severe. There is absolutely no way they can police the child’s contact with people who have dogs. Do they ask every single student in their class and on the playground and those who use the same toilets and chairs and sports equipment? Do they check that every teacher/first aider/school guest/PTA member is dog free? And do they go out as a family? Do they check the customers in shops & shopping centres? Families at Peppa Pig world? The doctor, the dentist, their extended family? I very much doubt that.

Secondly. If they were that worried that their neighbours dog would kill their daughter they would live somewhere that had no neighbours. Tell them to eff off!

@ohfuckitall and you mention children in public areas, this isn't a public area, it's a private garden

Sorry that should have been "do you want your neighbours to swap". If you swapped with my neighbours they'd have double the problem!

Yet on this thread the 'right' of someone to have a dog is given assumed priority over the right of a child to be protected from a potentially fatal allergen.

Its not about the dog though it's about their belief that they should be able to dictate how their neighbours live their lives. Their child apparently attends school and that's something her parents are comfortable with so I highly doubt living next door to a dog a bigger risk than what they are already exposing her to.

Someone having a life threatening allergy is awful but it doesn't give you rights to enforce rules on strangers.

I truly see and agree with all perspectives and I’m so on the fence about this that’s why I have come to ask on here.
Yes I feel for the parents but is this not the risk of having children you take? If I was them I would be so thankful to have neighbours like us who have listened to their concerns and for a whole year have followed their rules. Most would just tell them to beep off

You cannot ask other families in a class not to have dogs, anyway they could be visiting grandparents etc. I'm not doubting allergies, a friend has a severe pet allergy and can't go to houses with dogs but that doesn't extend to their next door neighbours (who have a dog). Unfortunately when parents are worried (not unduly) they can imply they are the only ones with rights. There are people with incredibly severe allergies but they won't be living in cities attending school etc.

Your life, your garden and your poor dog. If they won't cope the housing market is there so they can move. What entitled people.