AIBU- Dog vs neighbours allergic child !

[Henryhoover12]

Please can someone tell us if we’re being unreasonable or our neighbours are. We moved to a new house and really got on with our neighbours they are very lovely and we spend lots of time speaking to them. We mentioned that we were purchasing a dog In which they had mortified looks on their faces and explained their DC is extremely allergic to dogs (e.g can’t be in class with anyone who owns a dog etc has been in hospital) we kind of brushed it off and said we can speak about it closer to the time.

After that everytime we bumped into them they kept asking if we “changed our minds” which we found so awkward but in the end we told them not getting a dog wasn’t an option is we have always wanted one but are happy to work things out so it’s safe for their child. They took this badly and didn’t speak to us for a while. Closer to us picking up the dog we went around and asked what they would like us to do to ensure safety for their child.

One of the (long list of) rules was that we didn’t let the dog out while their child was in the garden. This seemed fine at the time until we realised their child is ALWAYS in the garden. And I mean always they have a little treehouse type thing that they play in so come rain and sunshine they are out there. At first we tried to play ball like if our dog wanted to wee we would walk him to the park 10 minutes but now it’s just getting ridiculous so we have started letting him go to wee when it’s raining outside because we really can’t be asked to walk 20 minutes just for that. The last time we did the mum came our and shouted at me saying I’m going to kill her child. AIBU to think that our dog has every much right to use our garden as the child? Our poor dog loves to be outside but is trapped inside because of this and I’m starting to think it’s really unfair

This is so ridiculous, I have children and grandchildren with severe allergies and Asthma and would never expect someone to keep their dog indoors. Perhaps they would like a one mile exclusion zone around their house with all dogs and cats(Worse for allergies) in that area euthanised. What do they do when taking the child out, seal it in a plastic bag. They are completely BARKING.

I think I would move. I couldn't face the stress of living next door to them

Suppose you'd already had a dog - would they have expected you to rehome it?

Just had a thought. Watch they don’t do anything to hurt your dog OP. If they are that worried you don’t know the lengths they may go to.

I can not think of what the school have put in place to protect her from any dog hair. Unless it is a ridiculously small class size/school, there is going to be a child there that either has a dog or a relative/childminder with a dog and must come into school with hair on their clothes. And how is this going to even be managed at senior school with hundreds of kids? Is she never going to go to work in the future. The mind boggles how it is managed now and will be in her future.

What's the deal with the garden? Is there a large fence etc?

All you can do is promise them the dog will not be allowed to roam about without a lead unless in ur garden.

It's up to them to make sure they are happy with the security of the fence. For instance sturdy 6ft fence, double sided with no gaps. If that were the case how can there be an issue. She's outside with a massive blocked off fence

Also u might have had a dog before h moved in did they not think of that. It's ur house and u have a right to have a dog if u wish.

They sound barking mad.

I can understand anxiety arising from a severe allergy but they have have to manage that.

@Henryhoover12

To answer some questions: -the child does not leave the house like ever that’s why the parents spent a lot of money to create her a huge play park in the garden (the inner child in me is very jealous). -her friends that come to play are few and far and it’s mostly cousins (from across the road) that play with her -the parents have spoken to us multiple times about how difficult this has been on them so I Can’t imagine them making this much sacrifice for nothing. -in Terms of school I don’t really know- I know she has a special teacher who doesn’t have a dog but in terms of the other kids I don’t really know

@Henryhoover12 if they don’t want to move, that’s up to them. They have to weigh up living near all their family v living somewhere more remote. They can’t expect to stay in a house with neighbours and expect neighbours to comply with their requirements.

I wouldn’t agree to a timetable as others have suggested. You’ll regret it surely - might be fine in the winter when the dog is just popping out now and then for a wee but in the summer surely you’ll want the back door open, you’ll be sitting around outside, you want the dog to be free to wander in and out etc.

Personally, I wouldn't have bought a dog if I had been told a child next door had a potentially fatal allergies to dogs.

I’ve read your updates, but I still think they’re exaggerating. I know people who are allergic to dogs (their face and throats swell) but they wouldn’t be affected if the dog is behind a 6 foot fence. If the child was deathly allergic then no one in the entire school would have a dog. Also, the child would never ever be able to go on a walk or to the park in case they came in contact with a dog. I highly doubt this is the case. If you want, get a hypoallergenic dog. The neighbour’s child should stay away from the fence.

And what would they have done if you’d moved in with a dog already? Asked you to get rid? They need to lower their expectations. There’s no way they can avoid their child coming into contact with people who have dogs, it’s not like we walk round wearing badges to advertise that fact. It’s an impossible task!

I did watch a documentary once where a child was so allergic to dogs that they did have to be really careful going for walks to cross the road etc, and couldn’t walk in the park. Their life was extremely restricted.

I’m more reminded of documentaries and films where parents make up illnesses when their children are fine... this all sounds very disturbing.
Perhaps they worry about their child engaging with your dog at some point and it turns out this allergy is no where near as bad as they said or doesn’t even exist.

I feel sorry for you. It must feel horrible living somewhere so clannish. But I'd say fuck them and get a dog. I think it's bullshit tbh. The trouble is that they'll think they own the neighborhood. Get a dog and if you get threatened etc then call the police. If the kid is so severely allergic then the family should've clubbed together and bought a commune in the middle of nowhere

Personally, I wouldn't have bought a dog if I had been told a child next door had a potentially fatal allergies to dogs.

Seriously? Do you normally allow your neighbours, who could move at any time, to dictate your lives like that?

I've not RTFT but their kid needs to try desensitisation therapy if their allergy is that severe.

I think I'd move too, I just couldn't put up with this level of stress. I wouldn't be keeping my dog in all the time, either, that's so unfair on doggo.

My thoughts regarding their daughter is that since everyone else in the culdesac is family, can't they open up one or two of the other gardens for her to play in. Not ideal, but then expecting you to never let your dog out is ludicrous.

I wonder how it came about that your house is the only one not to be owned by family?

Sorry OP it seems like you'll have to move !

Ps I have a similar allergy to cats and several neighbours who let their cats run loose (and pee and shit all over my garden).

Haven't RTFT, but I'm struggling to believe how a child could even attend school with that level of allergic reaction, because it's one thing asking kids in their class not to have dogs but what about the rest of the school? They'd never be able to walk down a corridor or be in the playground in case a dog owner had shed hair somewhere. What about going to shops, on holiday etc? I'm sorry but their story doesn't stack up.

I'm very allergic to cats, I was even ill when I worked with someone who had cats. However, this was only because they had many cats, were covered in cat hair and had poor hygiene.

I live in a street that feels like it has more cats than people some days, I manage fine. They are being ridiculous. Enjoy your dog.

Op there is no way they can dictate what you do in your own garden. I have never heard such nonsense. Please remember when you let your dog into your own garden you are not killing their child. If they choose for their child to be out when your dog is out that is their decision. During the Summer I often have my back door open to keep the house cool. If they need to be isolated due to their child, they will need to move, even possibly to one of the other houses in the cul de sac surrounded by their family. Please let your dog enjoy its garden.

I have never heard of any pet allergy so bad that the neighbours could not have a dog! Surely if it was that bad they would not be able to go in a bus or train or into a shop!
They really can’t insist that you don’t have a dog

They sound barking mad.

Especially the way they're hound-ing the OP.

@ohfuckitall

Personally, I wouldn't have bought a dog if I had been told a child next door had a potentially fatal allergies to dogs.

I would, if I wanted a dog. I would keep in the house and it's own garden and if they see the child out cross the road to avoid her. I certainly wouldn't not get an animal I had wanted for a long time because of a neighbour unless there was no way to keep them apart.

Source: www.bvallergy.com/severe-allergic-reaction-to-dogs/amp/

“Most allergists would not include anaphylactic shock as a possible allergy symptom of coming into contact with dogs.

If you have a severe allergic reaction to dogs, it would likely not be a deadly one. You would just experience sneezing, itching, or shortness of breath for a few minutes.

Many people still believe that a dog allergy can be deadly despite the lack of medical evidence that supports this theory.”