AIBU- Dog vs neighbours allergic child !

[Henryhoover12]

Please can someone tell us if we’re being unreasonable or our neighbours are. We moved to a new house and really got on with our neighbours they are very lovely and we spend lots of time speaking to them. We mentioned that we were purchasing a dog In which they had mortified looks on their faces and explained their DC is extremely allergic to dogs (e.g can’t be in class with anyone who owns a dog etc has been in hospital) we kind of brushed it off and said we can speak about it closer to the time.

After that everytime we bumped into them they kept asking if we “changed our minds” which we found so awkward but in the end we told them not getting a dog wasn’t an option is we have always wanted one but are happy to work things out so it’s safe for their child. They took this badly and didn’t speak to us for a while. Closer to us picking up the dog we went around and asked what they would like us to do to ensure safety for their child.

One of the (long list of) rules was that we didn’t let the dog out while their child was in the garden. This seemed fine at the time until we realised their child is ALWAYS in the garden. And I mean always they have a little treehouse type thing that they play in so come rain and sunshine they are out there. At first we tried to play ball like if our dog wanted to wee we would walk him to the park 10 minutes but now it’s just getting ridiculous so we have started letting him go to wee when it’s raining outside because we really can’t be asked to walk 20 minutes just for that. The last time we did the mum came our and shouted at me saying I’m going to kill her child. AIBU to think that our dog has every much right to use our garden as the child? Our poor dog loves to be outside but is trapped inside because of this and I’m starting to think it’s really unfair

@OliviaWainright

Having known a child with similar allergies I see this as they spoke to you before you the bought the dog, and you went ahead and bought it anyway. That's a bit selfish. You totally dismissed their worries and fears and did the thing.

My neighbours took to putting egg shells on their front garden to protect plants from slugs. My child has severe egg allergy, and was a toddler who could run into their garden easily (no wall or fence between). I explained the situation and they kindly stopped doing it.

It’s not selfish at all. The world doesn’t stop because of a batshit over anxious neighbour! It’s the parents responsibility to ensure their child is as safe as can be due to allergies. Likewise it’s YOUR responsibility to make sure YOUR child doesn’t randomly run into the neighbours garden. Put a bloody fence up or build a wall.

It sounds like the child doesn’t go to school every day if she is always in the garden.
I imagine she has to stay in a sterile bubble of sorts, perhaps visits school occasionally and sits in a cleaned room with only the dog-free teacher?

I did see this sort of thing on a documentary, it is a heartbreaking condition.

The dog situation has been fine for a year with us following all the rules that were set. It came to blow when I was tired and it was pouring down that I let my dog go for a quick wee in the garden (I watched him the whole time) instead of taking him to the park Which is when the mum started screaming at me that I’m going to kill her child.

[quote parkerpop]@Nocutenamesleft that sounds horrendous for your friend and her DC.

Can I ask what the school do? Do they ask all the children in the class not to have the thing their allergic to in their own homes?

I have a lot of sympathy for this family and i can't imagine how I'd handle this of it was me and dd in that position. Must be so stressful but it is hard to fathom what the school does to manage it? [/quote]
She can’t go to school. She’s home educated for that reason sadly.

@ohfuckitall There’s a big difference between a child not having access to a garden (and millions of children don’t) and being locked in a basement for one’s whole life.

Sorry but I wouldn't entertain this at any level. You were ridiculous to do so in the first place.

Eh? Nobody has suggested locking the child up. Nobody.

@BoxHedge you are perhaps correct, i am not a parent nor am I aware of school days/times as I work shift work so my days all blur into one. Now you’ve mentioned it the kid is always in the garden so that is not an exaggeration. Whether it’s because of the pandemic and they are teaching from home or it’s more permanent I don’t know. The parents have mentioned to us that she does go to to school however

OP. I would ignore the screaming woman and if they carry on harassing you, which is what screaming at you in your own garden amounts to, I would ask them to stop. If they continue then I would report it to the police.

@Branleuse

i think id look to move house. Being the only non family member in an entire cul de sac, and living next door to someone who was fatally allergic to my beloved pet - its not about whos right or wrong, but it just sounds really stressful for everyone

Yes because moving is so easy and cheap to do isn’t it!

So moving isnt an option.

Making sure the fencing is absolutely dog proof is. The dog could potentially push through the hedge and if the fence is in anuway damaged the it would be abke to get through or dog under it. Id be thinking about a second inner fence as well. Secure gates so they can't be accidentally left open

And with all these potentially hostile neighbours, any precautions would be for my dogs's safety as well as their childs.

Well your neighbours are crazy as are quite a few posters on this thread.

IF the child's allergy was that bad she would NOT be going to school. They are liars. No way can a whole school never come into contact with a dog. It would have to be the whole school that didn't have dogs or ever come in contact with them - teachers, relief teachers, teaching assistants, all the children, anyone that ever has to visit the school. Just impossible. If she were that bad she would be home schooled

Just look at how many dogs there are and it's obvious the parents are lying.

What if you already had a dog when you bought the house? If the allergy was really that bad surely one of the crazy relatives would have bought it?

Also no way on earth does dog hair or saliva float over a 6ft high fence AND a hedge. NO WAY. Absolute utter bullshit. I have 2 very very very hairy dogs. They don't moult but I groom them in the garden. I have never seen any of their hair flying or floating around. Also my neighbours have a very hairy dog that does moult and they also groom her in the garden. I have never seen of their dog's hair in my garden and I live in a windy part of the country.

Dig under it. And numerous other typos!! Sorry

I'm calling bullshit - how does their child go to school (surely not everyone is dog-free), the supermarket, cinema, bus etc etc? Do they vet every person they come into contact with? This is nuts. I'm assuming your dog isn't literally in the same garden so surely the distance between them is sufficient? Otherwise your whole street or whatever would have to be dog free. Go about your business within the grounds of your own private home & garden and give the parents fuck all except a stone wall. They are nuts.

@spinningspaniels

Never engage with batshittery in any form.

And that's a whole new level of batshit.

Your poor dog.

Agree with this totally! Poor doggy.

They are crazy.

I would also keep an eye out they don't try to harm the dog by putting something over the fence,like poisoned meat, if they get that angry

I think the only concession I'd give is to give them 5 mins warning that the dog is going out in the garden and roughly for how long (20 min for a wee and a mooch or 2 hours while you garden). They can choose to bring their child in and therefore their child is safe. Maybe they should swap house with one of their family members!

@Henryhoover12

The dog situation has been fine for a year with us following all the rules that were set. It came to blow when I was tired and it was pouring down that I let my dog go for a quick wee in the garden (I watched him the whole time) instead of taking him to the park Which is when the mum started screaming at me that I’m going to kill her child.

Sorry but I would have screamed back at her. No way would my dog not be allowed in the garden.

I could maybe understand it if you did not have a fence or a very low fence (although I think she is lying) but a 6ft fence and a hedge? The parents are crazy

Can't get over some of these responses. Some of you are as nuts as the neighbours!

I agree with this - if you believe them (as you say you do), it's extremely selfish to have gotten the dog. No wonder they're upset with you & I'm not surprised your neighbours are upset with you too.

On what sort of entitled planet do you live? Do you literally think the world revolves around people like you? The op has every right to get a dog. The only solution here is for the neighbors to move or keep their child home. Ridiculous that they have ensured the school follow this nonsense. If the girl is that sick then she needs to live only in her house and not expect the world to revolve around her. She will get a huge shock as she grows and no one is going to entertain this. Op you feel UR because the family has ganged up on. If you were among unrelated neighbors, someone else would have told them to go do one if they tried this. Absolutely crazy and selfish of them.

of course moving isnt easy, but this doesnt sound sustainable does it. The family of course have no right to insist noone who lives near them has a dog, but if the allergy is as severe as they say on face value, then id either have not got a dog, or id start looking into the process of moving. Whats the other option?
Unless of course people are suggesting that the neighbour is lying??

@missingholland

OP, I forgot to respond to your comparison about nut allergy.

It would be like telling a new, friendly, neighbour about your hospital admissions for nut allergy, only for them to respond 'I have always dreamt of having a nut tree orchard', and planting one straight next to you. That is, in truth, the equivalent of what you have done.

No of fucking isn't. Christ almighty MN has gone bonkers 🤣🤣🤣

How do they know the dog is in the garden? If the hedge/fence is 6ft high I can’t see how they could police the dog’s garden visits?

How sad for all, I am biased though as my DD has severe peanut allergy, not known if it’s airborne or not. Do not underestimate how terrified the parents will be about this. Anaphylaxis kills quickly.

Surely the ndn needs to move?
Their problems aren't yours to solve.