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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I left an note…

249 replies

Whiskytangofoxtrot12345 · 07/07/2021 15:38

Basically, I feel like a petty “Karen”.

Our local supermarket has a limited amount of toddler parking. They are always full, normally parked in with people that don’t have kids, have teenagers with them, etc.

I have 2 children under 2. I really struggle if I can’t get parked in those spaces (have to leave trolley behind car with child in while I get the other one out and it’s a busy car park, i leave and go back later).

Went today and there was one space left. Saw numerous people coming and going, childless. So I left a note on one of the cars explaining why these spaces are important to me and if they could please respect that.

You’re supposed to be fined for parking in them unwarranted but it’s not policed.

AIBU…I feel awful now and regret doing it.

I just don’t see why I should struggle because people are lazy and want to park as closely as possible to the entrance.

OP posts:
Notsoaccidentproneanymore · 07/07/2021 18:52

I parked in supermarket p&c space a few years ago. I was challenged by someone asking where my child was as they couldn’t see them in the back. She looked suitably embarrassed when I took ds2 out of the front seat in his rear facing baby seat.

Most people are just inconsiderate arseholes who only ever think of themselves. Unfortunately for the considerate people they are the ones who seem to win.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 07/07/2021 18:53

Well if they're taken up by people with children there isn't an issue is there?

Exactly, you would cope perfectly well without the space. So you can do it.

TheNameTheWebsiteForgot · 07/07/2021 18:58

P&C spaces should be further away from the shop. Problem solved.

MaMaD1990 · 07/07/2021 18:58

@LubaLuca

And if my local corner shop wasn't within walking distance or stocked what I needed?

Oh, you missed that I'd anticipated the obvious question. I said 'for those who can't walk, drive...'. It's still easier to pull up outside the little Co-op/Spar than run the gauntlet of the supermarket carpark plus massive shop with a trail of children. Besides, 99.99% of corner shops stock milk.

Ah, you are quite right, I did miss that bit. It's funny you say the Co-op, ours is the 'local corner shop' here - you'll have aged about 30 years by the time you get out if you get one of the 2 (yes 2) parking spaces...but also, what if I was in desperate need of something it didn't stock (besides milk - duh)? Wink
MaMaD1990 · 07/07/2021 19:02

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Well if they're taken up by people with children there isn't an issue is there?

Exactly, you would cope perfectly well without the space. So you can do it.

I think you're getting a bit confused. The issue is inconsiderate people who don't have kids or a disability parking in the P&C spaces. If those spaces are taken up by people who genuinely need them to make their life easier, there literally is no issue because noone is taking up a space who doesn't need it. What have you missed? It's like explaining what 1+1 equals Hmm
Tjsmjs · 07/07/2021 19:03

It is frustrating when you see someone who clearly doesn’t need the space. I know that there are those with hidden disabilities/ lack of disabled spaces and difficulty getting a blue badge but the vast majority of cases I see are people being selfish. I have the upmost sympathy for those who struggle with blue bade after watching my grandmother to struggle to get her badge- luckily she has one now.
I’ve never left a note but A few months ago I did have words with two men in their early 20s parked in one with no child in sight. It looked like they had just stopped off the grab lunch after being at the gym around the corner. I was loading my toddler into the car which is a bit of a mission these days as we are at the car seat refusal stage. As a result it was taking a bit of time. One of them was huffing and puffing as he couldn’t get in his car straight away (the space he was in- next to mine was also a P and C space). By the time I had got my child safely strapped in I was feeling pretty harassed after the epic toddler meltdown but I did manage to point out if he didn’t want to be inconvenienced by a parent and child, he may want to reduce the chances by not parking an a P and C space himself.

IPacificallySaid · 07/07/2021 19:04

@3peassuit

I went shopping this morning with my daughter who uses a wheelchair. All the disabled spaces were taken so I parked in a P&C space. Maybe some of the P&C places were taken by people with hidden disabilities.
It would be good if this were the case but sadly people use both disabled and P&C spaces without a genuine reason. One of my friends was a carer for her disabled parent and had an argument with a man using a disabled space. She explained the frustrations of getting a wheelchair and another person with limited mobility into a car with virtually no space between cars, the man explained his frustrations with not wanting his car doors scratched. These types of people can't see past their own self importance.
Gemmy96 · 07/07/2021 19:06

@Tjsmjs nobody is saying that there aren't people who use them for no reason, just that you cannot tell who does and who does not need to use them. Having a go at random people does nothing!

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 07/07/2021 19:11

I think you're getting a bit confused. The issue is inconsiderate people who don't have kids or a disability parking in the P&C spaces. If those spaces are taken up by people who genuinely need them to make their life easier, there literally is no issue because noone is taking up a space who doesn't need it. What have you missed? It's like explaining what 1+1 equals

YOU CANNOT TELL WHO HAS A DISABILITY AND WHO DOESN'T JUST BY LOOKING AT THEM SO YOU DON'T KNOW WHO NEEDS IT.

It really is like explaining what 1+1 equals, you're right.

Doghead · 07/07/2021 19:19

What do you think you achieved? Most people would just laugh and throw the note away. Still.....if it made you feel important in your otherwise dull life...

Tjsmjs · 07/07/2021 19:27

@Gemmy96 I get that not all disabilities are visible but at the time there was ample disabled parking if that was the case. It was clear from the attitude of these men that they were not using the space on a need basis. The didn’t want to get their nice car damaged. To then be huffed at and commented on regarding my child who was having a meltdown because he had to wait two minutes to get in his car. I did not have a go for no reason- he was rude to me first and I merely pointed out if he didn’t want to wait then don’t park in a p and c space. I don’t think that is being rude- just matter of fact in his case. As I said I’ve never left a note. I wouldn’t go and confront someone as I don’t know their circumstances but in this case it was quite clear the motive behind them using the spot.

MaMaD1990 · 07/07/2021 19:28

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

I think you're getting a bit confused. The issue is inconsiderate people who don't have kids or a disability parking in the P&C spaces. If those spaces are taken up by people who genuinely need them to make their life easier, there literally is no issue because noone is taking up a space who doesn't need it. What have you missed? It's like explaining what 1+1 equals

YOU CANNOT TELL WHO HAS A DISABILITY AND WHO DOESN'T JUST BY LOOKING AT THEM SO YOU DON'T KNOW WHO NEEDS IT.

It really is like explaining what 1+1 equals, you're right.

Now now, calm down, no need to get shouty and pouty Wink
Bluntness100 · 07/07/2021 19:31

It doesn’t seem the op knows for sure if the car she left the note on had kids or not.

I had this once, parked up in parent and child space in our town centre and this woman came screeching over to me and told me in very irate tones that the space was for parent and child and I had no right to park there as I had no child with me. Who did I think I was stealing the space etc, I just stood and let her finish, i had no other option, I was quite shocked to be honest,, then quietly said I’m on my way to collect my three year old daughter from the nursery over there, and need to go to the shop on the way back, she just looked embarrassed and turned on her heel and walked away. Not even a word of apology. Not a word.

MerryDecembermas · 07/07/2021 19:34

This is why grocery deliveries were invented OP. Why do it to yourself, you don't actually need to go to the supermarket at all.

Yes the people nicking the spaces are twats. Why expose yourself to it at all basically

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 07/07/2021 19:35

Now now, calm down, no need to get shouty and pouty

I was writing it in big letters so you understood, since you weren't getting it before Wink glad you seem to have grasped it now Smile

Mrstamborineman · 07/07/2021 19:35

So you expect people to park considerably whilst you use insensitive language. Nice.
YABU anyway to expect something for nothing. The spaces are courtesy spaces by supermarket. No one can enforce them, get over it.

MaMaD1990 · 07/07/2021 19:37

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Now now, calm down, no need to get shouty and pouty

I was writing it in big letters so you understood, since you weren't getting it before Wink glad you seem to have grasped it now Smile

Na, sorry to disappoint but I still think you're wrong (and incapable of structuring an argument Wink )
RightYesButNo · 07/07/2021 19:40

I apologize if several people have asked this, but I see you haven’t answered it, OP. Were there absolutely no other places to park anywhere in the car park with an empty space on each side? If there were ABSOLUTELY none, maybe YANBU. If there were available spots, YABU. I agree with others that putting the parent/child spots at the back of the car park would solve many of these problems.

Flowerlane · 07/07/2021 19:43

Unfortunately this has been going on for years and isn’t going to change. It is annoying but just one of them things.

Leaving a note is not going to stop that person from parking there in the future they will not give two hoots about the note and I guarantee it will just be thrown on the floor as litter. It was just a waste of your time.

Also be careful in future as next time you could be caught putting a note on a car and be met with a very angry owner (not saying they are right but it’s a crazy world out there).

RedLemon · 07/07/2021 19:50

@MistyFrequencies

YANBU. I have 2 toddlers too, one autistic who loves to bolt. I actually had an argument with a lady recently about this. Went to pull into a parent&child park with my 2 toddlers in the car, she cut in front of me. I waited, rolled down window and asked politely did she realise it was for parents&children, she told me to fuck off that she had a sore leg. So I said unless she birthed that sore leg from her vagina it was irrelevant. Not my finest moment but she really annoyed me and I had to wait another 15 mins or so before another suitable space came up. So, don't worry about leaving a note. You were much more polite than I was.
😂 Awesome.
Livpool · 07/07/2021 19:56

So annoying OP and agree they should be further away to stop the cfs wanting to use them

MistyFrequencies · 07/07/2021 20:45

@Thewinterofdiscontent .....you're sore leg lady aren't you...😂

SofiaMichelle · 07/07/2021 21:02

@Livpool

So annoying OP and agree they should be further away to stop the cfs wanting to use them
You'd also find that half the entitled PFBers wouldn't be arsed to use them then, too.
Skyla2005 · 07/07/2021 21:07

You had enough time on your hands to write the note so you would have managed fine parking a bit further away I'm sure

Lemonlady22 · 07/07/2021 21:09

I park in parent and child spaces if I go to my local Aldi because the disabled spaces are further away than they are...its ridiculous! (blue badge holder)

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