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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I left an note…

249 replies

Whiskytangofoxtrot12345 · 07/07/2021 15:38

Basically, I feel like a petty “Karen”.

Our local supermarket has a limited amount of toddler parking. They are always full, normally parked in with people that don’t have kids, have teenagers with them, etc.

I have 2 children under 2. I really struggle if I can’t get parked in those spaces (have to leave trolley behind car with child in while I get the other one out and it’s a busy car park, i leave and go back later).

Went today and there was one space left. Saw numerous people coming and going, childless. So I left a note on one of the cars explaining why these spaces are important to me and if they could please respect that.

You’re supposed to be fined for parking in them unwarranted but it’s not policed.

AIBU…I feel awful now and regret doing it.

I just don’t see why I should struggle because people are lazy and want to park as closely as possible to the entrance.

OP posts:
cansu · 07/07/2021 16:42

You are being ridiculous and petty. I also cannot believe you are not able to shop without this space. Leaving a note seems real overkill.

IllForTooLong · 07/07/2021 16:43

I agree @SofiaMichelle that on a company pov, it’s a marketing ploy.
This doesn’t mean that no one cares or that they are useless though.

I remember clearly putting my back out quite a few times taking out the dcs out of the car because there wasn’t enough space for me to open the door fully. I did care about the P&C spaces then.
I still do when I look at my two friends with autistic children, who don’t have a blue badge but can really do with P&C space.

Original poster
Whiskytangofoxtrot12345 · 07/07/2021 16:44

@IToldYouIWasFreaky
It was more about feeling bad about leaving the note. I left the car park feeling like I’d not acted well and it was unjustified.

OP posts:
Ligglepiggle · 07/07/2021 16:45

I often take DS and my mum shopping at the same time, he generally goes with her so I often come out and back to the car alone and wait for them, the amount of times people have come and tapped on my window etc even when there’s tons of other spaces available. I just say yes my child is in the supermarket he’s coming out soon Hmm usually leads to more tutting etc. Really don’t know why people just don’t mind their own business.

TeardropsFallingOnHotSand · 07/07/2021 16:45

If it had been Tesco, Karen would only have popped in for a gammon.

Roselilly36 · 07/07/2021 16:45

People that do that sort of thing, really don’t care, so I doubt the note will be considered, probably just chucked it on the floor. I did wonder if some of those parked could be disabled, if so their blue badge should be displayed, in that circumstance fair enough. But otherwise YANBU.

Hellocatshome · 07/07/2021 16:46

You can't be fined for parking in P&C spaces they are not legally enforceable and are just a nice to have they have only relatively recently come into existence.

SofiaMichelle · 07/07/2021 16:47

I know if disabled parking is full people with disabilities using the spaces is widely seen as acceptable

So not "perfectly acceptable and not even worth a mention", just "widely seen as"?

Hmm

Disabled people can park wherever-the-fuck-they-like IMO, as long as not blocking the road. Anything that helps them be able to carry out their day is good.

cansu · 07/07/2021 16:47

I think that if you park further away from the shop, you can put the trolley next to your car with no problem rather than leaving it at the end of the car. The fact that you re expending so much energy policing these spaces, telling people off and leaving notes is really a bit bonkers!

cheesymarmite · 07/07/2021 16:48

I also find it mildly annoying when seemingly able bodied people without kids park in these spaces.
However you never know peoples reason for parking there. For some people yes it's prob because they just can't be arsed to walk further but for others it may be that for some reason (injury etc) they are struggling to walk far on that particular day or whatever. So I can't get that worked up about it.

81Byerley · 07/07/2021 16:50

You were right to leave a note. I have in the past gone to customer services about a young man parking in a disabled space when not entitled (No Badge). They put a big sticker on the driver's side window. I blocked him in whilst I went to the desk. My husband can't get out of the car and into his wheelchair unless the door is fully open, so we can't just park in a normal space. I also have a grandchild who is a bolter, so I feel your pain.

ahoyshipmates · 07/07/2021 16:51

My local supermarket has been known in the past to put out tannoy announcements asking people without children to move their vehicle. The manager happened to have young children at the time. Grin

Original poster
Whiskytangofoxtrot12345 · 07/07/2021 16:51

@cansu
I’ve said something once and left one note in 2 years. I’m not expending much energy.

The post was more that I felt bad for leaving it. That I had been petty and it had been unjustified.

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 07/07/2021 16:51

Yeah. Putting them further away from entrance would massively reduce these issues

MaMaD1990 · 07/07/2021 16:52

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Why should I have to park further away when I've got a wild toddler to get out the car and almost man handle into the shop just because some lazy twat has decided they can't be bothered to walk the extra minute with no parental/caring responsibilities? Come on, dear. Be sensible.

If your kid is that wild, do your shopping online. That would be more sensible dear.

Of course, you can also take the stance that people don’t mind if you touch their car with your door, just because there isn’t enough space and go for it. Would it work for you@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult?

Park at the back of the carpark where there is loads of room since it isn't about being near the door. That might work better for you Smile

So if I needed some milk that day I'd have to do an online shop and wait days for a delivery slot because I'd like to instead be able to pop to the shops and park in a convenient bay, designed and advertised for parents and children? Oh dear. Your argument really is lacking!
bjjgirl · 07/07/2021 16:53

I park in parent and child spaces with my friends daughter who is in year 5, she has an invisible disability which means we need more
Space and to be closer, we won't get a blue badge for her disability.

I have parked, pregnant, with 2 toddlers etc and I can honestly say I need the space more with dd2 as she gets older than I did when she was a toddler.

When you have a baby, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking you are entitled to the parent and child space over others, we've all been there, sleep deprived with a PFB, but honestly if I knew the what I know now, I would just let it go

SofiaMichelle · 07/07/2021 16:54

@TeardropsFallingOnHotSand

If it had been Tesco, Karen would only have popped in for a gammon.
And perhaps a frothy coffee?
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 07/07/2021 16:56

So if I needed some milk that day I'd have to do an online shop and wait days for a delivery slot because I'd like to instead be able to pop to the shops and park in a convenient bay, designed and advertised for parents and children? Oh dear. Your argument really is lacking!

No you would have to park a minute away from the door and handle your own kid while you grab some milk Confused

WorraLiberty · 07/07/2021 16:57

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Yeah. Putting them further away from entrance would massively reduce these issues
It would be interesting to see if the amount of parents with children wanting to use the spaces, would reduce too.
Whitchurch · 07/07/2021 17:00

@EssentialHummus

Karen is a fucking awful term, please don’t use it.

I have said on numerous occasions to people in a very worried tone….’excuse me..you seem to have left your child in the supermarket’.

I do this too. On one occasion when I wasn’t in a hurry ans it was the second time I’d seen the same (distinctive) childless car park in one, with every indication that they were an asshole rather than disabled/pregnant/confused/whatever other possibility might exist to excuse it, I parked across the back of their car and went into the shop cafe for a coffee and a good view out the window.

Yes... of course you did... And if you did you had no right to.
Meraas · 07/07/2021 17:05

@Whiskytangofoxtrot12345

Not sure how to edit to erase the Karen terminology, sorry.

I’ll try to be considerate of others in future

Don't worry about it, OP.

You weren't a Karen and Darrens do exist., as YouTube will testify.

Guavafish · 07/07/2021 17:05

Just park further away

LubaLuca · 07/07/2021 17:05

So if I needed some milk that day I'd have to do an online shop and wait days for a delivery slot because I'd like to instead be able to pop to the shops and park in a convenient bay, designed and advertised for parents and children? Oh dear. Your argument really is lacking!

Most people would walk to the corner shop for milk. Those who can't do that would drive to the nearest one and park on the street outside. Seriously, parents use convenience stores all the time, for this very reason.

Parents and supermarkets are like moths and flames it seems, but I don't understand the attraction.

daytriptovulcan · 07/07/2021 17:05

Despicable misogynistic term! Leave "Karen " alone.

Cheesybiscuitsmineallmine · 07/07/2021 17:06

Yabvu for using Karen in a sexist and misogynistic way. It's a name belonging to a lot of people, don't be so nasty.