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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I left an note…

249 replies

Whiskytangofoxtrot12345 · 07/07/2021 15:38

Basically, I feel like a petty “Karen”.

Our local supermarket has a limited amount of toddler parking. They are always full, normally parked in with people that don’t have kids, have teenagers with them, etc.

I have 2 children under 2. I really struggle if I can’t get parked in those spaces (have to leave trolley behind car with child in while I get the other one out and it’s a busy car park, i leave and go back later).

Went today and there was one space left. Saw numerous people coming and going, childless. So I left a note on one of the cars explaining why these spaces are important to me and if they could please respect that.

You’re supposed to be fined for parking in them unwarranted but it’s not policed.

AIBU…I feel awful now and regret doing it.

I just don’t see why I should struggle because people are lazy and want to park as closely as possible to the entrance.

OP posts:
pollypokcet · 07/07/2021 18:21

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

There are SO many disabled spaces firstly. And any disabled person would have a blue badge. People who park in Child spaces are not disabled.

Those with blue badges can park where they like.

Millions of people with disabilities don't qualify for a blue badge and, imo, are more entitled to a space near the entrance of the shop than someone who is only mildly inconvenienced by parking further away.

So you're very wrong. Many people with disabilities park do in them. As they should.

Nah, I haven't seen that. There are always way more disabled spaces than needed. That's the point. I dont care if disabled people park in kid spaces, they're entitled to

My point is there are so many, they don't need to.

I can't comment on the qualifications for blue badges, but I doubt most of the people who slide in when someone else has been waiting are genuinely disabled.

piratehugs · 07/07/2021 18:25

Some people have said that nobody who parked in that spot would give a shit about your note. But I can well imagine my dad parking his entitled bottom in a parent and child space and I can also imagine him being suitably chastened by a note left on his car. So, if it was my dad who pissed you off this morning, you did the right thing.

Babymamma192 · 07/07/2021 18:28

I hate this too op! There are about 3 p&c spaces at a shopping center near me and they're always full....usually people without children too and it's so annoying!

I have two under two as well and it's so awkward to get them into the pram etc without the extra space!

If someone parks too close to me then I've had it because I can't open the doors wide enough to get them in.

Hopefully the note you left might make that person think before they take a p&c space in the future!

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 07/07/2021 18:28

Nah, I haven't seen that. There are always way more disabled spaces than needed. That's the point. I dont care if disabled people park in kid spaces, they're entitled to

My point is there are so many, they don't need to.

I can't comment on the qualifications for blue badges, but I doubt most of the people who slide in when someone else has been waiting are genuinely disabled.

Have you ready the thread, there are a few stories of people with disabilities not qualifying for a blue badge so using a P&C space.

People who are 'not disabled enough' for a blue badge can't park in those spaces.

Do you really think someone with chronic pain or mobility issues is less entitled to that space than someone who gave birth a couple of years ago?

Smallbutnottinykitten · 07/07/2021 18:29

I was in the supermarket yesterday and there were no disabled spaces. None.

I parked in a p and c place and put up my blue badge. No one said anything though.

Gemmy96 · 07/07/2021 18:29

Many people end up having to use these spaces as it's gotten so absurdly difficult to get a blue badge!

Terhou · 07/07/2021 18:29

I wish supermarkets would routinely put the P&C spaces further away from the entrance. Parents don't need to be nearby, they simply need space to unload their children, and if they were further away there would be less temptation for lazy people to nick them.

MaMaD1990 · 07/07/2021 18:31

@LubaLuca

So if I needed some milk that day I'd have to do an online shop and wait days for a delivery slot because I'd like to instead be able to pop to the shops and park in a convenient bay, designed and advertised for parents and children? Oh dear. Your argument really is lacking!

Most people would walk to the corner shop for milk. Those who can't do that would drive to the nearest one and park on the street outside. Seriously, parents use convenience stores all the time, for this very reason.

Parents and supermarkets are like moths and flames it seems, but I don't understand the attraction.

And if my local corner shop wasn't within walking distance or stocked what I needed?
MaMaD1990 · 07/07/2021 18:33

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

So if I needed some milk that day I'd have to do an online shop and wait days for a delivery slot because I'd like to instead be able to pop to the shops and park in a convenient bay, designed and advertised for parents and children? Oh dear. Your argument really is lacking!

No you would have to park a minute away from the door and handle your own kid while you grab some milk Confused

OR I could park in the parent and child spots provided and the lazy non-parents/disabled people can park in a disabled spot (if available) or a normal spot if they're not disabled. I mean, I don't quite understand why this is so hard for you to grasp Grin
DocsOddSocks · 07/07/2021 18:33

@Whiskytangofoxtrot12345 Can you not get an online shopping delivery? It makes things much easier Smile

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 07/07/2021 18:35

OR I could park in the parent and child spots provided and the lazy non-parents/disabled people can park in a disabled spot (if available) or a normal spot if they're not disabled. I mean, I don't quite understand why this is so hard for you to grasp

I don't understand why you are acting like grabbing some milk from a shop with a kid is akin to climbing mount everest Confused

What would you do if all the spaces were taken up with parents and kids?

TheUndoingProject · 07/07/2021 18:36

I think for the small pleasure of venting your irritation you potentially made someone with an invisible disability or a disabled child feel really shit about themselves.

Sparklingbrook · 07/07/2021 18:37

I don't understand really how people have all this time to do parking space policing and writing notes. If you are shopping with children don't you just want to get your shopping done and leave asap?Confused

We don't have P&C spaces at my nearest supermarket and everybody seems to manage as people did before they were a thing.

I would scrap them altogether personally.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 07/07/2021 18:37

I watched someone with no kids swing into the last P&C spot ahead of me the other day. I thought ok, calm down, let it go, just park elsewhere, so I did. When I came back, someone had parked so badly next to me, I couldn’t open the driver’s door more than a few inches so had to get in through the boot

When I was pg with DS ( he's in his 20s) parking in P&C wasnt allowed if you were pg but not with a baby/toddler .

Someone parked really close to my drivers door - regular space . DH doesn't drive so he had to go into the supermarket to get them to tannoy .
Eventually , unapologetic , dismissive bloke comes out , gets in his car and drives off .

Going in through the opposite door or the boot could cause all sorts of injury !

cheapskatemum · 07/07/2021 18:40

It is not just about getting young children, toddlers & babies out of the car and into the trolley seat, not if they are a bolter. The further you are parked away from the supermarket, the more likely your bolter is to cross a car park "road" and get hit by a car!

Gemmy96 · 07/07/2021 18:40

@MaMaD1990 this may come as a shock, but you can't tell if somebody's disabled by staring at them.

Staffy1 · 07/07/2021 18:41

Sorry but I have used one once when there were no other spaces, but as usual more than a couple of free parent and child parkings and disabled parkings. After driving around the car park for 20 minutes and finding no common spaces i got fed up and parked in one of these empty spaces. This was a Waitrose car park that charged, so I wasn’t going to leave with nothing and be charged for parking.

Sparklingbrook · 07/07/2021 18:43

I have to say it's very reassuring that MN AIBU is getting back to the relentless arguments about P&C spaces, things are getting back to normal. Grin

Staffy1 · 07/07/2021 18:44

@cheapskatemum

It is not just about getting young children, toddlers & babies out of the car and into the trolley seat, not if they are a bolter. The further you are parked away from the supermarket, the more likely your bolter is to cross a car park "road" and get hit by a car!
I have a 13 year old bolter but make sure I hold onto him at all times. It doesn’t make much difference whether we park in the close or far parkings.
LubaLuca · 07/07/2021 18:44

And if my local corner shop wasn't within walking distance or stocked what I needed?

Oh, you missed that I'd anticipated the obvious question. I said 'for those who can't walk, drive...'. It's still easier to pull up outside the little Co-op/Spar than run the gauntlet of the supermarket carpark plus massive shop with a trail of children. Besides, 99.99% of corner shops stock milk.

fuzzyduck1 · 07/07/2021 18:48

With all the child obesity we hear about shouldn’t the children parking be put as far away from the supermarket entrance to allow the little mites get a bit of exercise? This would cure the problem as people without kids would want to park there.

MaMaD1990 · 07/07/2021 18:49

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

OR I could park in the parent and child spots provided and the lazy non-parents/disabled people can park in a disabled spot (if available) or a normal spot if they're not disabled. I mean, I don't quite understand why this is so hard for you to grasp

I don't understand why you are acting like grabbing some milk from a shop with a kid is akin to climbing mount everest Confused

What would you do if all the spaces were taken up with parents and kids?

Well if they're taken up by people with children there isn't an issue is there?
sqirrelfriends · 07/07/2021 18:49

You can't win.

The people who shouldn't be parking there won't give a shit, and will more likely than not be the type to get aggressive.

The people who are parking because they have short term health conditions that don't warrant a blue badge (heavily pregnant, broken leg etc) will probably be upset and think you're a twat.

Worst I saw was a few weeks ago. A couple parked up and went in, I figured they forgot they didn't have child with them (I could see a sunshade). When I came out, another customer was talking to a security guard and there was a group of people around the car. They had parked in a parent and child space but left their baby in the car, in June.

MaMaD1990 · 07/07/2021 18:49

[quote Gemmy96]@MaMaD1990 this may come as a shock, but you can't tell if somebody's disabled by staring at them.[/quote]
You don't say??

TheVolturi · 07/07/2021 18:50

I think @mnhq need to edit out the Karen comment because people can't be arsed to read that op has APOLOGISED A MILLION FUCKING TIMES.