I left an note…

[Whiskytangofoxtrot12345]

Basically, I feel like a petty “Karen”.

Our local supermarket has a limited amount of toddler parking. They are always full, normally parked in with people that don’t have kids, have teenagers with them, etc.

I have 2 children under 2. I really struggle if I can’t get parked in those spaces (have to leave trolley behind car with child in while I get the other one out and it’s a busy car park, i leave and go back later).

Went today and there was one space left. Saw numerous people coming and going, childless. So I left a note on one of the cars explaining why these spaces are important to me and if they could please respect that.

You’re supposed to be fined for parking in them unwarranted but it’s not policed.

AIBU…I feel awful now and regret doing it.

I just don’t see why I should struggle because people are lazy and want to park as closely as possible to the entrance.

I don't mind the walk so long as there are trollies nearby (and dry) that I can put the babies in. Walking across the sizeable car park to fetch a trolley leaving two small babies in the car wouldn't sit right with me. I have been challenged a few times, I am clearly old enough to be a grandma and have dark windows in the back of the car so the babies/children aren't obvious to anyone looking at me in the drivers seat so I think people assume I am taking the piss.

There are SO many disabled spaces firstly. And any disabled person would have a blue badge. People who park in Child spaces are not disabled.

There really aren’t, we often find the bluebadge bays are all full. The majority of disabled people do not qualify for a bluebadge. Lots of people who park in parent and child bays are disabled, differently abled peopled do have children.

My husband had surgery last year which means he is a teeny bit less disabled, as a result at renewal he will lose his bluebadge. He has arthrogryposis, it isn’t a ‘mild’ disability. He simply cannot access a standard parking space.

There are SO many disabled spaces firstly. And any disabled person would have a blue badge. People who park in Child spaces are not disabled.

Those with blue badges can park where they like.

Millions of people with disabilities don't qualify for a blue badge and, imo, are more entitled to a space near the entrance of the shop than someone who is only mildly inconvenienced by parking further away.

So you're very wrong. Many people with disabilities park do in them. As they should.

I can’t believe how upset MN gets over ‘Karen’. I think the phrase peaked in 2020 anyway

Sadly it seems they already don't care, so likely will just carry in regardless of note. I've always been too much of a wimp to say anything myself so well done though! Hopefully they will listen but I doubt it!

Saying that, I may be judged for you using them when I'm with DS. He's 10 so not a baby or toddler but he's autistic. He doesn't have a blue badge and at his age using a parent and child still makes it easier to park, get in and out the car and not be too far away from the shop!

@Whiskytangofoxtrot12345.......
Obviously P&C parking spaces, and spaces for people with disabilities, are proving to be very emotive issues here on MN!
Fortunately I've never needed to use either, but whilst some may think leaving a note is petty, you're coming across as not at all a nasty person, and from what you say, the note was neither aggressive nor abusive.
Stop beating yourself up, OP - you haven't killed anyone! 😊

@MistyFrequencies

YANBU. I have 2 toddlers too, one autistic who loves to bolt. I actually had an argument with a lady recently about this. Went to pull into a parent&child park with my 2 toddlers in the car, she cut in front of me. I waited, rolled down window and asked politely did she realise it was for parents&children, she told me to fuck off that she had a sore leg. So I said unless she birthed that sore leg from her vagina it was irrelevant. Not my finest moment but she really annoyed me and I had to wait another 15 mins or so before another suitable space came up. So, don't worry about leaving a note. You were much more polite than I was.

Why would a bolter be safer in P&C space near the busiest part of the supermarket, than near the edge where it’s quieter?

And the woman had a sore leg. Assuming she wasn’t lying why shouldn’t someone in pain be able to park closer? Waiting 15 mins for something suitable would imply you are seriously hard work or lazy.

@Whiskytangofoxtrot12345

I am really sorry for the Karen comment.

I can’t edit the post to retract it but I will be a lot more mindful of my terminology in future.

Don’t apologise - people will find fault in anything. It’s a minor term that doesn’t require feeling offended about. Unless they actually are called Karen and act that way 😂

It’s frustrating, but when my two were very young, I tended not to bother if there were none available. I’d just park at the far end of the car park where there was lots of space, which gave me room to manoeuvre the DCs in and out of the car. People tend to get stressed out about the spaces, and think that they can’t cope without them, when the reality is that a lot of shops and car parks dont have them. And people just manage.

The type of person who does this won't give a fuck about the note.

Tbh Parent and Child spaces should be far away from the store so that the people who are lazy don't find them appealing. You'll still get the people who want to protect their fancy car but better that they pack in P&C than Blue Badge spaces.

I think that there are cases where a childless person should park in a P&C spot. For example I wouldn't judge if the passenger was on crutches, pregnant with limited mobility or the Blue badge spaces were filled. You never know if the driver is going to pick up a passenger with limited mobility or might have an older child with special needs who might bolt.

I've never heard of anyone getting £100 fine in a supermarket, only if they go over the 3 alloted hours or timescales

I think we mostly all agree that there are plenty of people who could and should use them other than having kids with them but reading this you'd think it was impossible that anyone is actually just a lazy, can't be arsed twat - of course they are. There isn't ALWAYS a good reason. I'm not sure where I stand on challenging it, either directly or indirectly but lets not pretend that there aren't some arseholes out there. There really really is.

@Mad4Max1

I've never heard of anyone getting £100 fine in a supermarket, only if they go over the 3 alloted hours or timescales

I've been fined in Asda for parking in a BB bay. We had a BB!

Not Asda's issue, it was the land owner.

Don't feel bad. I don't have kids and wouldn't dream of using one. Even when there's loads free at 10pm.

Tbh people take the piss with what qualifies as a child, I've seen teens with their parents park in them. They exist for the reason you stated, to give more space for getting young children in and out of the car.

Are you sure they were actually childless? My DH got a torrent of abuse for parking in one of these spaces because they assumed he was childless. He was actually picking up our friend and her three children, one of whom is severely disabled and was having a meltdown in store.
Also lots of people hand over their children in supermarket carparks, so could also appear childless.

I use them with DD who is 15 and has impaired mobility. She physically cannot walk the length of the car park, but still can walk too far to qualify for a blue badge. I need a space close to the shop for her more than I did when I had 2 children under 2 so I would be fuming if an entitled toddler mum suggested I should park further away.
I agree I don't see why P&C spaces are not situated further away from the shop if the main benefit is extra space to get squirmy toddlers in and out of the car.

YABVVU for using the term ‘Karen’.
Really grim OP, give your head a wobble

Yanbu it infuriates me when people without young kids park in those spots! And all the people talking about the term Karen need to grow up 🙄

To the people saying they don’t need to be near the entrance, they are for safety reasons. It’s obviously better to not have kids walking across car parks. Some of them using it are too big for trolleys or buggy’s but still not strapping in and out of car seats

Meh. With a year between my two I was always far angrier about the parents who stole the only twin trolley and put their handbag on the second seat, than the ones who stole the spaces. Now that I really could start a thread on except they're 7 and 8 now and onto more annoying issues!

I found it a lot safer to park further away and just carry my two one on each hip to the trolley. Are you making this harder than it needs to be? Or alternatively, just leave them with husband whilst you do the shop, or do it online?

@PurpleRainDancer

YABVVU for using the term ‘Karen’. Really grim OP, give your head a wobble

OP has apologised multiple times for the Karen comment.

Oh FFS, it must be exhausting being permanently outraged.

" Karen " has become slightly toe curling, so what.
OP sounds to me like a lovely person, struggling with the constant demands of children who did something relatively out of character and then wondered about it.

Maybe said " Karen" came here for a bit of sisterly support.....no bloody chance.

This thread is hilarious with all the Karens moaning about the use of Karen.

I have said on numerous occasions to people in a very worried tone….’excuse me..you seem to have left your child in the supermarket’
I heard someone say that to someone parked at Asda few months ago hoping to shame someone. I'm not going to lie, I loitered and pretend to make a phone call to see what the outcome was and whether the woman who parked in the bay would back down. She didn't! She said something like ' Are you fucking stupid. Why would I leave a baby when I haven't friggin' got one, get a life and mind your own god dam business. I moved on quickly not wanting to get the wrath of her tounge for being nosey!

The faux worried look doesn't always work so be prepared because you don't know who you are confronting.

Also if you wouldn't confront a huge bloke with tatoo's on his face and would blow you over if he sneezed don't confront anyone . You can't cherry pick! it's everyone or no one!!!

Personally when the kids were small I found it easier parking away from the main entrance and the child bays. Cars were always hanging round waiting for your space or people were getting stressed if they thought someone didn't deserve a space. Much more chilled a bit further back.

I went shopping this morning with my daughter who uses a wheelchair. All the disabled spaces were taken so I parked in a P&C space. Maybe some of the P&C places were taken by people with hidden disabilities.