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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I left an note…

249 replies

Whiskytangofoxtrot12345 · 07/07/2021 15:38

Basically, I feel like a petty “Karen”.

Our local supermarket has a limited amount of toddler parking. They are always full, normally parked in with people that don’t have kids, have teenagers with them, etc.

I have 2 children under 2. I really struggle if I can’t get parked in those spaces (have to leave trolley behind car with child in while I get the other one out and it’s a busy car park, i leave and go back later).

Went today and there was one space left. Saw numerous people coming and going, childless. So I left a note on one of the cars explaining why these spaces are important to me and if they could please respect that.

You’re supposed to be fined for parking in them unwarranted but it’s not policed.

AIBU…I feel awful now and regret doing it.

I just don’t see why I should struggle because people are lazy and want to park as closely as possible to the entrance.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whiskytangofoxtrot12345 · 07/07/2021 16:00

@GhoulWithADragonTattoo
It wasnt Sainsbury’s. The car parking sign specifies it’s parent and toddler parking

OP posts:
Original poster
Whiskytangofoxtrot12345 · 07/07/2021 16:01

Again, very sorry for the Karen comment

OP posts:
LJC1234 · 07/07/2021 16:01

Parking in these spaces without children makes me so cross.

My supermarket has the spaces right near the entrance which is why I think they are so Misused and I really honestly think the supermarkets should put the spaces further away as it's the extra space I want not the closeness!

I also made the mistake of once asking someone if they realised they had parked in a parent and child space and they massively blew up at me.

NiceTwin · 07/07/2021 16:02

If somebody is going to knowingly park there without children, they aren't going to pay any heed to your note.

There are usually plenty of spaces further away from the store, maybe park there.

Vodkabulary · 07/07/2021 16:02

@vivainsomnia

I really really really don't get why people would park there when they don't have kids in pushchairs. The only group that can be forgiven are the disabled where there are no disabled space.

I see people with kids over 8 park there. Why? Are they really so lazy that it is worth it to avoid walking a few extra yards?

In our supermarkets the signs say use for parents with children under 12 so 8 is perfectly fine but also how do you know those 8 year olds don’t have hidden disabilities or other issues? As the mother of an autistic child who has a habit of bolting is her to be judged and called lazy for using the spaces to ensure his safety (I also have 2 under 2 so could use anyway)

Ah op people suck. We just use the spaces right at the back no one else wants. I’ve got 2 under 2 and an autistic 9 yr old and find it’s less stressful to do that as I never get anyone next to me so can put yen trolly safely next to the car but I guess not all car parks might have a set up
That allows that

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 07/07/2021 16:02

I salute you OP! Thank you, on behalf of all parents of young children

Queenie6655 · 07/07/2021 16:04

@Jakadaal

Is it one of the big brand supermarkets? This happened to me at our local Tesco. I waited patiently for a p&c space and just as one came free a cf woman in a huge 4x4 shot into it and marched into the store smirking at me. At the time I had a 4yr old with Learning difficulties and no impulse control and a 3 yr old. After I had managed to park and wrangle them into the trolley and reported the driver to the cctv/security man who said he couldn't enforce it but then put her reg out on the tannoy and asked her to move her car Grin meanwhile I was hiding in the wine aisle!
Sorry but this is just BRILLIANT

more of us should try this too xxxx

MaMaD1990 · 07/07/2021 16:04

Don't feel bad, it's high up on the list if things that boil my blood. I actually take people to task fairly often about it. Especially those SAT IN THE CAR WITH THEIR KIDS. Why can't they sit in a standard parking bay whilst wifey nips in for some bread and milk?!

Faithless12 · 07/07/2021 16:04

@vivainsomnia

I really really really don't get why people would park there when they don't have kids in pushchairs. The only group that can be forgiven are the disabled where there are no disabled space.

I see people with kids over 8 park there. Why? Are they really so lazy that it is worth it to avoid walking a few extra yards?

This is why they should be further away from the entrance. Lazy people use them as they are close to the entrance whereas most people are putting a baby/toddler in the trolley so it really doesn’t matter if the parking space isn’t right by the entrance. Why shouldn’t people with over 8’s use them? I find older children are more likely to hit cars when getting out. Personally I think all spaces should be slightly wider as they are often hardly wider than my normal sized car and barely fit in the Range Rovers of the world.
Mumsgirls · 07/07/2021 16:05

Thanks to those who have objected to my name being used as an insult again. Been a couple of weeks since we had one!
Glad you now get it op.
Don’t know why mumsnet allows this, the only subject of undeserved abuse that seems to be ok ?

HoppSuisse · 07/07/2021 16:07

I agree with @LJC1234 - the problem is that too often the location is poorly thought out by the supermarkets. A P&C space does not need to be anywhere near the supermarket entry - it just need to be big enough to be able to fully open the passenger door to safely take a baby/toddler out and put them into the trolley or buggy. Once the child is secure the walk doesn't matter.
But by putting them near the entry they are then in demand by everyone who just wants to save themselves an extra minute or two of walking (with the bonus of less chance that someone will swing their door into you).

NewlyGranny · 07/07/2021 16:07

It's not about how close those spaces are to the shop, though, is it? It's about the hatched areas between bays that let you open a car door widely enough to lift a baby or toddler in and strap them safely in their carseat, or to help a child with their seatbelt when they've graduated to a booster seat!

MaMaD1990 · 07/07/2021 16:07

@Mumsgirls

Thanks to those who have objected to my name being used as an insult again. Been a couple of weeks since we had one! Glad you now get it op. Don’t know why mumsnet allows this, the only subject of undeserved abuse that seems to be ok ?
Jesus - let it go. OP has apologised twice. Put the flaming stick away.
vivainsomnia · 07/07/2021 16:10

In our supermarkets the signs say use for parents with children under 12 so 8 is perfectly fine but also how do you know those 8 year olds don’t have hidden disabilities or other issues?
I agree, its madness that supermarkets say up to 12yo. Utterly ridiculous. Is it really too much for a 10yo to walk that little extra? They walk a lot more at school!

Surely if your child is disabled, you park in disabled bays?

Original poster
Whiskytangofoxtrot12345 · 07/07/2021 16:11

@Vodkabulary
Thank you, I hadn’t thought of it from that perspective regarding older children.

@MaMaD1990
And me. I’m Not brave enough to say anything though 🙈

@Faithless12
I can see what you’re saying. I was under the impression they’re more for getting kids in and out of trolleys, etc safely. Not really sure what the cut off should be but this car park specifies it’s toddlers.

@Mumsgirls
Sorry about that. I’ll definitely know for future.

Regarding parking further away. It’s a small car park for the supermarket which means there aren’t really any away from everyone else.

OP posts:
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 07/07/2021 16:11

People who confront others over the use of P&C parking are ridiculous.

Do you really want to put someone in the potential position of having to explain their disability to you because you've had to park further away?

Those are the people who will be bothered about being confronted, people who use them out of laziness won't care anyway.

KirstenBlest · 07/07/2021 16:11

Good.

vivainsomnia · 07/07/2021 16:11

It's about the hatched areas between bays that let you open a car door widely enough to lift a baby or toddler in and strap them safely in their carseat, or to help a child with their seatbelt when they've graduated to a booster seat!
Exactly! So what extra space is needed for a non disabled older children?

Original poster
Whiskytangofoxtrot12345 · 07/07/2021 16:13

Wouldn’t they have a blue badge though?

OP posts:
osbertthesyrianhamster · 07/07/2021 16:13

They won't care and are probably still laughing at the note.

And no, 'surely' not all disabled children are awarded a blue badge and often enough all those bays are full.

The P&C spaces are a courtesy (that should be abolished or put at the back of the car park IMO).

People don't give a shit if you think they're lazy, selfish, whatever. It doesn't bother most a jot what others think as long as those others aren't paying their bills, family, etc.

A note just smacks of self-importance.

peeweemermaid · 07/07/2021 16:13

I am very sorry you were inconvenienced and appreciate it is frustrating. However, it is not illegal to park in those spaces it is a courtesy. If you cant cope taking two children through a carp park, maybe you shouldn't have had kids...ducks for the flaylng.

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 07/07/2021 16:13

It is bloody irritating when people without kids use P&C spaces...very entitled!

However, I just don't understand why if it's such an issue, why you don't use click and collect, or home delivery?

Anotheruser02 · 07/07/2021 16:14

Sorry but I just think life's less stressful for everyone if we stop policing each other for petty things.

When my ds was about 6 weeks old and I was able to drive again I remember parking at Tesco in a child space (for the first outing on my own) and this woman with her partner (no kids with them) were looking at me when I got out of my car, the woman was saying loudly to her partner "she hasn't even got a child with her", he was strapped out of view in the back seat, I think infant carriers are less visible than toddler seats. I burst into tears and I swore I'd never be that much of a dick over a complimentary parking space to someone.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 07/07/2021 16:15

@Whiskytangofoxtrot12345

Wouldn’t they have a blue badge though?
The criteria for getting a blue badge is ridiculous. Lots of people with disabilities can't get one. If they do have a blue badge they can park in P&C anyway.
TheSilveryPussycat · 07/07/2021 16:15

@Mumsgirls

Thanks to those who have objected to my name being used as an insult again. Been a couple of weeks since we had one! Glad you now get it op. Don’t know why mumsnet allows this, the only subject of undeserved abuse that seems to be ok ?
I have long felt uncomfortable on behalf of my friend Wendy, the term "Wendying" is not nice, though the act itself is nasty. As my friend knows, someone did it to her Sad
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