Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think most people on MN are very anti-social!

142 replies

spinningaroundthemoon · 07/07/2021 14:37

Just an observation...

  • would never be friends with a work colleague
  • don’t want any friends besides their partner
  • would never answer the door or phone
  • don’t like friends or family they don’t live with inside their house
  • hate social engagements

There’s nothing wrong with the above. I’m opposite and clearly most people would loathe this.

OP posts:
girl71 · 07/07/2021 21:05

"@Templetreebloom It crosses my mind sometimes to do a Villanelle -just a little shove".

If you went out more and interacted with real people you would spend less time on BBC IPlayer. You know Villanelle is fictional right?

Templetreebloom · 07/07/2021 21:07

[quote girl71]@Templetreebloom "Extreme Introverts dont annoy others in the same way as extreme extroverts". Loud, gobby people who never stop fucking talking should be shot".

You sound unhinged. May I suggest you get out more ? Thats the thing with introverts, they are ever so slightly nuts! .

[/quote]
I think you have had a sense of humour bypass

WomanStanleyWoman · 07/07/2021 21:13

I think an awful lot of people on Mumsnet assume that a) everyone has the same kind of life they do and b) no one can adapt to circumstances.

For example, on threads when people admit to not answering the door, there will inevitably be responses saying ‘You unsociable lot! Why would anyone be so miserable as to not answer their door? What if it’s a dear friend who wants to give you a lovely surprise? Or a neighbour dropping in with homemade cake to get to know you better?’

My closest friend, in geographical terms, lives a 25-minute walk away. To ‘pop in’, she needs to make a round trip of almost an hour, with no guarantee I’ll be in. Why would she do that when she could just WhatsApp me saying ‘Fancy a coffee?’? That’s how I know any unexpected knock at the door is more likely to be a charity collector or someone doing a survey.

Similarly, there will always be a poster who responds with ‘But what if it’s a neighbour who desperately needs help, and you’ve just ignored them?’ Don’t these desperate people think to knock again, and again, and to do it louder? Maybe even shout ‘HELPPP!!!’ at the top of their voices through the letterbox? I might just sense the urgency… From the way some Mumsnetters talk, you’d think people whose houses are on fire knock once, then shrug their shoulders and say ‘Well, that’s not very neighbourly is it?’ in a supercilious whilst watching the flames rise.

girl71 · 07/07/2021 21:14

@Templetreebloom 😂😂yes. It was the whole you suggesting shooting extrovert people that got me, I misread your quote "Loud, gobby people who never stop fucking talking should be shot".

Silly me.

Templetreebloom · 07/07/2021 21:16

[quote girl71]@Templetreebloom 😂😂yes. It was the whole you suggesting shooting extrovert people that got me, I misread your quote "Loud, gobby people who never stop fucking talking should be shot".

Silly me.

[/quote]
Yep very silly Wink

It was a joke

WomanStanleyWoman · 07/07/2021 21:17

I have - loads of times. A knock on the door could be a parcel delivery or one of our neighbours, who is a friend, asking if we want to go out with them. We very rarely get unwelcome visitors.

Case in point. You have that kind of relationship with your neighbours, so you answer the door to unexpected knocks. Why is it so hard to understand that other people don’t have that?

Crikeyalmighty · 07/07/2021 21:19

I am very sociable but I admit I like it in short doses and planned- not necessarily all the time

SchrodingersImmigrant · 07/07/2021 21:23

It's fine to be an introvert, but then we have crapload of people here doing "no I don't know anyone who ccould lend me a fiver/I could talk to about x/help me set y/. I don't have any friends" it gets bit concerning.
That's a bloody risky way to live. I've also seen people doing "erm, why would i be friendly with neighbours" many people agreeing and then different threads arrive with "I can't ask neigbours I don't know who they are".

I can't imagine not to be on at least "Haya! You allright" bases with immediate few houses. That's enough for them to know the face and vice versa and know whether person is approachable or not so if shit hits the fan, you or they can knock for help.

It doesn't need to be inviting each other for bbqs etc. Just knowing people a bit. For me that's a matter of basic safety as well.

girl71 · 07/07/2021 21:27

@Templetreebloom and the shoving? "It crosses my mind sometimes to do a Villanelle -just a little shove".

Shooting and shoving people who are more extravert than you!

Sorry i missed the joke. Also struggling to see how someone as introvert as you, can suggest "fucking shooting" and "shoving" people.

Remoulade · 07/07/2021 21:35

[quote girl71]@Templetreebloom and the shoving? "It crosses my mind sometimes to do a Villanelle -just a little shove".

Shooting and shoving people who are more extravert than you!

Sorry i missed the joke. Also struggling to see how someone as introvert as you, can suggest "fucking shooting" and "shoving" people.

[/quote]
😂

girl71 · 07/07/2021 21:40

@Remoulade these introverts are deadly!

EmpressWitchDoesntBurn · 07/07/2021 21:43

I love spending time with friends & family, including staying with / hosting them. I say hello to neighbours when I see them & I’m looking forward to being back in the office more regularly because my work team are all great.

But I couldn’t stand having anyone else living with me. Just the idea is suffocating.

Roasteros · 07/07/2021 21:52

"I do not take calls from friends/acquaintances. WhatsApp only please unless we have prearranged time to speak. I don't have the bandwidth to support chit chat."

I wonder if this trait will find its way to the next generation? Will there be a point where we will no longer interact at all with other people outside our immediate family? For that matter, how would we ever meet potential partners in our ever-decreasing social circles? Could we even be rightfully called a society as such?

Susannahmoody · 07/07/2021 21:55

Yeah we're like nuns really.

DH just told me SIL is visiting next week :I'll need a week to mentally prepare!

Orla1970 · 07/07/2021 21:55

I am an extrovert but I have become quite anti social. Lockdown made it worse and also I work long hours and talk to people all day long in my job. So when I’m not working my home is my sanctuary. I don’t want anyone to come to my door that I’m not expecting. If the landline goes I jump. I have friends and family over but really like nothing better than a weekend with no plans, when it’s just me and my husband. When we do go out I often find myself thinking god this is busy. Wish I was at home with my bra off! I think it might be an age thing too. Although strangely I’m fine with neighbours calling round if they need something. We are quite pally with our neighbours. I’ve become a real home bird. Def more so with age but also I’ve got a nice house that I enjoy spending time in, plus the garden. Quite happy to potter at home the whole weekend. Sometimes me and my husband promise each other we will go out and then more often than not we think fuck that, call a takeaway, crank up the hot tub and get the drinks cupboard open and promise ourselves we will go out next weekend. Defo! 🤣

RampantIvy · 07/07/2021 21:58

The upside to Covid for me was not having to make up excuses to miss party invites etc.

What baffles me is that all these people who claim to not like talking to people and don't want to make friends actually get any party invitations at all.

CowsEatingAtNight · 07/07/2021 22:27

@Susannahmoody

Yeah we're like nuns really.

DH just told me SIL is visiting next week :I'll need a week to mentally prepare!

Ironically, I used to live close to a convent of enclosed Poor Clares who let me walk in their lovely garden, and —albeit on the other side of a grille — struck me as quite sociable and highly attuned to the world outside the walls, although most of them had only left the convent to vote or go to the dentist or hospital for several decades. Grin
Macncheeseballs · 07/07/2021 22:30

I'd imagine a convent to be a pretty sociable place in some ways

Pinuporc · 07/07/2021 23:08

I think I am a MN weirdo because I love our class whatsapp chat!

doesparentingsuck · 07/07/2021 23:11

YANBU you've described me in a nutshell lol

doesparentingsuck · 07/07/2021 23:12

I'm not shy either fairly outgoing work in sales and think that's the issue. When you've done 20 years talking to people for a living in my spare time I think, Fuck that - people bore me

skybluee · 07/07/2021 23:17

I agree with some of this but I utterly hate all of the comments about not answering the door.

Until you've lived somewhere where 95% plus of the times the buzzer rings it's something you wish you'd not answered, maybe you won't understand it fully.

I understand if you live in a village it may be completely different but in a large building of apartments you're responsible for who you buzz in. If you don't know them and you buzz them in you're taking a risk. People get fed up of endless conversations/people asking to be let in when you don't know who they are - so they stop answering the door.

I really don't see what is unreasonable about it at all.

I remember reading on the thread people who utterly couldn't fathom it and I just thought try it for a few weeks and you'll be doing the same.
Also, if you DO answer it you can become known as a number who will take delivery and you end up being repeatedly lumbered with other peoples stuff which at that level/amount can become a problem.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 07/07/2021 23:22

I lived in apartments. Number of apartment buildings in different areas. I've been random buzzed just about 10 times in all that years...
"No, sorry. Buzz whoever you are looking for"

SocialAffairsAndWoodlandFolk · 07/07/2021 23:24

See, I've not, for the vast majority of my life, had neighbors who I could say I have a good relationship with, or any relationship at all. I grew up in social housing and a lot of our immediate neighbors had quite severe mental health issues or drug habits.
But it still wouldn't occur to me not to answer the door, unless I had reason to believe that it would be dangerous. It just strikes me as quite rude.

skybluee · 07/07/2021 23:28

I've probably been random buzzed 10 times in a week, or a few days. It depends on the building, where your buzzer is on the list, etc.