To think most people on MN are very anti-social!

[spinningaroundthemoon]

Just an observation...

• would never be friends with a work colleague
• don’t want any friends besides their partner
• would never answer the door or phone
• don’t like friends or family they don’t live with inside their house
• hate social engagements

There’s nothing wrong with the above. I’m opposite and clearly most people would loathe this.

@Haudyourwheesht

Also: Don't take in parcels Don't answer the door or the phone Don't accept home baking as gifts Don't help their elderly neighbours when they've fallen Get most upset if a child stands on their wall or picks a flower from their garden wall.

The best one was kick up a huge fuss when a child scoops a handful of snow from your car. Unbelievably there were people who thought she was perfectly reasonable.

It doesn't have to be all or none from your list, some people are more social or busy than others 🤷

In real life, they probably can't tell anyone what they really think, so you might be blissfully unaware of people around you who could tick a few items from your list.

It's the hatred against weddings I don't get.

I agree whole heartedly with you.

I love having visitors, I love people dropping in, I always go to the gates if people call by. I talk to the neighbours, I share things with them and I chat to the adults with learning difficulties in our community.

A few months ago, a friend of a friend broke down with her cattle trailer. I lived an hour away on the journey she was doing, so I offer to be a lay over point. A random young guy picked her trailer up, via Facebook, turned up at my farm at 11pm. Friend of a friend’s husband came to mine and arrived at 2am to take the cattle to their end destination.

I had tea, and fudge I had made with the nice young guy, and after an hour we realised we knew some mutual friends. Six degrees of separation and all that.

So, I got no sleep, my neighbours laughed their heads off, and I met some new people. What’s the harm?

The best one was kick up a huge fuss when a child scoops a handful of snow from your car. Unbelievably there were people who thought she was perfectly reasonable.

I agree with that
and so would my kids!

It doesn't have to be all or none from your list, some people are more social or busy than others 🤷

Most people irl are somewhere in the middle social, sometimes unsociable. But MN is such an extreme that you can't have that😁 Either you sob and shake at someone knocking at door or you open randomly when you are passing just in case, with tea ready for the possible person😂

@spinningaroundthemoon

Just an observation...

• would never be friends with a work colleague
• don’t want any friends besides their partner
• would never answer the door or phone
• don’t like friends or family they don’t live with inside their house
• hate social engagements

There’s nothing wrong with the above. I’m opposite and clearly most people would loathe this.

It’s like you know my soul.

Wrong in my case! I'm a very social person. I see friends at least twice a week. I'm very out going - an extrovert and proud.

@SchrodingersImmigrant

It doesn't have to be all or none from your list, some people are more social or busy than others 🤷

Most people irl are somewhere in the middle social, sometimes unsociable. But MN is such an extreme that you can't have that😁 Either you sob and shake at someone knocking at door or you open randomly when you are passing just in case, with tea ready for the possible person😂

Sob and shake at someone knocking at your door

I have to admit I sometimes feel like crying if someone turns up unannounced. I probably sound unsociable but I get very little time to myself (work FT, 2 DC) and when I get a precious hour or so on my own it kills me inside if a relative or friend takes it upon themselves to 'pop round'. I'm afraid I now do not answer the door unless I'm expecting a parcel or if I can see the person is not an unexpected guest.

I do not take calls from friends/acquaintances. WhatsApp only please unless we have prearranged time to speak. I don't have the bandwidth to support chit chat.

I live in East London and rarely visit friends who live on the other side of the river, too much effort. Londoners will know what I'm talking about. So friends in South or West London see me in person about once a year or less. The upside to Covid for me was not having to make up excuses to miss party invites etc.

I know, I'm a charmer

Heh heh. Last time we had someone banging on the door in the middle of the night, it was a distraught and somewhat inebriated young woman whose facebook had been hacked. Lucky she banged on our door, IT husband sorted her facebook out, made her a cup of coffee, and saw her home.

They love social distancing, too.

@HennyK

I think you mean unsociable not anti social OP.

I do often think this about things on here. It always surprises me too how little a lot of people on here will do for someone they supposedly love and care about as well simply because they shouldn't have to. Say you don't like your MIL much and your husband has invited her round because he hasn't seen her since last year, there will be lots of 'Oh my god, how dare he invite someone in your home, just go out, tell him he'll have to go to them, tell him they can't come' ect ect... In reality surely most people would just grit their teeth through dinner with their in laws, even if they don't particularly like them, for the sake of their husband?

It's the same with anything on here that you don't have to do but would be nice to do for someone else.

Re neighbour banging on the door in the middle of the night, unless I specifically knew it was my neighbour (and I was friendly with them), I would not answer the door to someone banging on it in the middle of the night. Especially if I was alone. That kind of thing makes me super nervous.

Well she stated in her story that she knew it was her neighbour banging and ignored her.

The fact that a certain type of person is over represented online I think explains a lot of why the online space (chat rooms; social media) is so dysfunctional. It also explains partly why real life is so different.

@spinningaroundthemoon

Actually I just remembered a story where a work colleague said her neighbour was banging on her door late at night and she ignored her. Turned out that her husband had had a heart attack and unfortunately died. Work colleague stated she was very glad she’d never answered the door that night and I suspect most MN’s would too. She couldn’t have done anything but she ignored someone who in that moment just needed supper.

That’s is extremely sad and a. terrible reflection on that poster. If I were that neighbour I would never forgive her.

Good point @Joanie1972.

Don't do "popping round" and not overly keen on visitors in my house generally, but love socialising out and about, that's why I nearly died of boredom during covid. Lots of MN and the general population love restrictions and lockdown, that's why they're panicking it's ending, I've noticed a lot of female aquaintances have loved having their DP safely stuck to them 24/7 at home away from their mates and any kind of social life. It's justified a lot of over vigilant controlling behaviour and those of us who want to go out into society are deemed "selfish"

YANBU, OP. I'm no extrovert myself but I certainly answer the phone/open the door even if I'm not expecting a call or a visit, as does everyone else I know irl. Takes about 3 seconds to say No, thank you and hang up/close door if it's a nuisance call. Oh, and I live alone.

Agree. And "school mums" are the worst. You must never even think of befriending one of those.

🙋🏽‍♀️ for the social events. Unless you are a very close friend, I'm not bothered to not be invited to your wedding. Or your hen do. Or your child's christening. Of your milestone birthday party.

I like socialising with my friends in intimate settings, don't mind a works do, but can't be arsed making small talk with people that I don't know and won't meet again, or sitting though church services or speeches. And spending money for the privilege.

Not wanting to socialise (even in normal times) is not the same as being anti-social, they are two very things in my book.

I dont know about antisocial but I don’t find MN a good reflection of real life because people are giving opinions often based on very subjective posts. Yes they may be factual to a point but we can only know what the poster is telling us and this is often their point of view, potentially leaving out vital details. Then you get the judgemental posts which also rarely reflect real life.

@moynomore

Agree. And "school mums" are the worst. You must never even think of befriending one of those.

It's strange because every woman with a child at school is a school mum. So it makes no sense!

I'm unsociable but none of those describe me.

would never answer the door or phone

I do answer the door and phone, just not when it isn't someone I know or am expecting.

I haven't had one call to my mobile or landline who left a message when I didn't answer in well over 2 years. All sales calls etc.

I answer the door when I am expecting a delivery etc. Otherwise you just get charity requests etc. I have a Ring doorbell so check!

I'm very unsociable. Not anti social I hope 😁.
I love forums. I'll be honest. It allows me to participate on my terms. I do have some social needs. I like to interact with people if I'm feeling in the mood but I like to be free to walk away at any point. I like to drop in and out as I please. You can't do that in real life. There's the eye contact, the knowing when it's your turn to speak, the balance of a conversation, there's a million things involved in integration that are just overwhelming

Forums are brilliant for people like me. I couldn't have a chat with any of you like this.
I suspect that there are a lot of us like this on here. I for one am grateful to you all for it 😁

Interaction 🙄