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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think its immoral to charge children rent?

330 replies

CatsArePeople · 07/07/2021 14:24

Unless you're saving/investing it for them.

Bring on the biscuits Grin

OP posts:
UnChatNoir · 07/07/2021 17:01

This reply has been deleted

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Fontella · 07/07/2021 17:05

Both my kids pay rent and frankly I couldn't have survived the Cover economic turmoil without them.

I am a self-employed freelancer who has run a successful home-based business for 27 years.

My turnover is down 75% in the 2020/21 tax year, and my profits are a fifth of what they were in the previous year. Even with the SEISS grants, I have no idea how I've managed financially, and it's only down to the fact that my kids pay their way and have had secure jobs through the pandemic. Without them I'd be on benefits by now as my business has absolutely tanked.

If you are well off enough to let your working kids live at home for free then good for you, but for many of us its simply not an option.

PurpleHoodie · 07/07/2021 17:05

:59bringincrazyback

If they're working they should contribute. How are they supposed to get a sense of budgeting/the cost of living otherwise?

I'm of a mind that even if parents can afford to pay all; they should take a contribution from their children (they can invest/save that money if they want).

Billionaires have a habit of keeping their children away from tech/stopping major inheritances/making children study.

Fontella · 07/07/2021 17:05

Covid economic turmoil I meant. Bloody auto-correct!

PurpleHoodie · 07/07/2021 17:11

BTW.

It's school/Uni/college holidays, so as per every year we are going to get a load of these type of threads.

And worse.

amylou8 · 07/07/2021 17:18

My wages do not cover the rent and bills on a 3 bed house in SE England. They would cover a 1 bed flat if I lived on my own. If my 2 adult kids, who both work FT, want to live here they have pay towards it. They pay much less than they would if they lived independently. I don't understand how that makes me immoral.

SunshineCake · 07/07/2021 17:22

Where's this thread where an earning adult child has to give pocket money to a non earning sibling ? Hmm.

CoralSparkles · 07/07/2021 17:26

Adult children? Depends on how much they’re earning and how much you want them to pay. If they’re earning something like £600 a month and you’re charging £300 rent then that’s tight. Also tight if they’re teens and/or in full time education.

Monsterjam · 07/07/2021 17:28

Can someone explain the biscuits to me?

notacooldad · 07/07/2021 17:28

If they're working they should contribute. How are they supposed to get a sense of budgeting/the cost of living otherwise?
There are more ways to skin a cat than 1

CandyLeBonBon · 07/07/2021 17:30

@amylou8

My wages do not cover the rent and bills on a 3 bed house in SE England. They would cover a 1 bed flat if I lived on my own. If my 2 adult kids, who both work FT, want to live here they have pay towards it. They pay much less than they would if they lived independently. I don't understand how that makes me immoral.
Exactly
insancerre · 07/07/2021 17:34

I think it’s quite sad when grown ups act like children and parents enable them by paying their bills

sempiternal · 07/07/2021 17:35

I paid rent when I started working more than just a Saturday job. Never bothered me and I knew my Mum needed the money so I was happy to be able to help. I was only on minimum wage but still had plenty left for everything else I needed. I think it's important for young adults to learn about these things!

Fuckitfuckit · 07/07/2021 17:35

My point of view is from my position, yes it would be entirely unreasonable, however if you think about the position other people live in, then it becomes more understandable.

-a disabled parent who was used to paying the bills and rent with benefits or an entitlement to housing benefit that they will no longer receive making paying rent/buying food impossible.

  • people generally not well off, maybe a bit of extra income makes life a little easier.

-parents who are becoming single so have lost a huge % of their income.

As a teen, my boyfriend had to pay rent from his first pay packet. It seemed like the normal thing in our circle, none of us were well off, and when kids aged out of being entitled to benefits on their parents benefit claim, they made up the difference.

My husband comes from a slightly more comfortable (but entirely average) background and he knows no one who had to pay towards anything as a set amount from starting work or anything.

I do however see issues with that myself. Because he wasn't used to having financial responsibilities, he hasn't managed well as an adult.

I will be taking money off DD, it will go into an account and will be given to her when she leaves home. I intend to match whatever deposit she can put together for a property to live in, then give her whatever is collected from her "rent" as savings for just incase.
I don't want to gain from her, I really just want her to have the very best shot in life that she can have. Also secretly hoping that she doesn't leave home until her mid 20s. She can escape for uni, but I'd really like her to be able to enjoy a few years of adulthood without the stress of running a household.

viques · 07/07/2021 17:40

@PurpleHoodie

viques

I was in my early twenties.

I don’t know why you keep tagging me, I don’t think I have commented on one of your posts.
cookiecreampie · 07/07/2021 17:41

No. Not everyone is lucky enough to have wealthy parents that can afford to put the money into savings for their adult children. I contributed money to my family as soon as I started working full time which was needed for household bills. The child element of tax credits stops when they turn 16 or 18, for some families that is a huge drop in income. You obviously have lived a privileged life OP to not get that.

cookiecreampie · 07/07/2021 17:43

And what about adults that stay living with their parents rent and bill free into their 30s and 40s. Why should they live freely?

gurglebelly · 07/07/2021 17:47

@LaurieFairyCake

Really ?

Dd (24) plus boyfriend who I didn't know moved in with us because they lost their jobs due to Covid

6 months later they have £4K a month between them now they're working

They have takeaways or go out to restaurants constantly and get taxis everywhere

And complain they can't save Hmm even though their last flat (rent and bills) cost them £1400 a month

Still think I shouldn't charge them ?

Perhaps it's time for them to look for a bee rental?
Furrydogmum · 07/07/2021 17:49

I don't charge my oldest son and his fiancee board, they are trying to buy a house and the houses keep on being bought at more than asking. He is putting as much away as possible towards his eventual deposit and costs and I can afford to feed them and pay for utilities. He'll get nothing once he's moved out and they know they are lucky.
Ds2 I give £150 a month spends to as he's a student and hasn't found a job yet - actively trying though, and once he does the £150 will stop.
It is an individual choice and no one should be made to feel bad for doing it differently. If my circumstances were different then I might have to take board from them and that would be the right thing for the situation.

notacooldad · 07/07/2021 17:51

I honestly dont see why posters get so het up about whether other parents should charge or not.
Everyone should just do what works best for them and their financial position and don't worry about anyone else's way of doing things.
These threads are always hilarious with such strong minded views seemingly not willing to see that it is ok if someone does things different to you.

Maggiesfarm · 07/07/2021 17:55

Certainly not if they were doing part time work while in education or an apprenticeship. If they were working full time in an established job, it wouldn't be unreasonable for them to make a small contribution to the household but no more than that.

Port1aCastis · 07/07/2021 18:43

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newnortherner111 · 07/07/2021 18:51

Children with an income should contribute towards the cost of running the house. I would not call it rent though, which may just be my expressions.

Roomonb · 07/07/2021 18:52

I think if you can’t afford it it’s totally understandable. Tbh it would be uncomfortable for me from a cultural perspective, I’d struggle to ask my DD to pay for anything. I don’t think it has prevented anyone I know from my own cultural background from being budget savvy or getting on with paying their own bills tbh. different strokes and all that. As long as everyone is happy what does it matter really.

MorriseysGladioli · 07/07/2021 18:55

I think its immoral to allow your offspring to live off others.
No such thing as a free lunch is a valuable lesson in life.