Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School conducted a LFT on my son, against my consent

999 replies

duckme · 05/07/2021 19:26

We received an email from our school to say that, due to the increase in covid cases, they are going to resume the LFT scheme in school (secondary) rather than at home. They sent an online consent form for parents to complete. I declined consent. I marked the form as such and sent it back electronically. My son was actually isolating until today as his bubble had burst, but I reminded him that he didn't have consent for the tests so he wasn't to have one. I know mistakes can happen and forms can be misplaced so I wanted to make sure he was fully aware of my consent.
He came home today and informed me that he had the test.
He said the whole class was called the the hall. The lady could see on the list that he hasn't got consent and asked him about it. He repeated what I had told him, 'my mom said, I'm not to have one'. The lady then proceeded to lecture him about protecting his family and friends. He is 13 and gave in to the person of authority in front of him. Despite them having explicit instructions to the contrary.
AIBU in being absolutely livid? That person ignored written consent, ignored the verbal consent of my son and then guilted him into having an invasive test.
I'll be contacting the school tomorrow to complain but I'd like to know if my covid fatigue is making me over react a little. But I can't imagine it being ok for a school to override parental consent in this way pre covid! Have we all surrendered all our our rights now? Even our parental ones?

OP posts:
Pinkyxx · 05/07/2021 23:09

I understand where you're coming from completely, especially that it feels like a slippery slope when your explicit lack of consent was overridden. I personally wouldn't deny consent for an LFT (in fact I intend to continue testing my daughter through the summer) on principle I think I'd feel the same in your shoes. That said I see the schools, and your son's position too.

Also important to note that if a child is old enough, competent enough to fully understand the medical procedure and make an informed choice they are deemed 'Gillick competent' and therefore have the right under law to make their own choice regard medical care. This assessment can only be made by a medical professional, not a teacher. For example, my daughter (age 12, if deemed competent) could get the pill without my knowing or my being consulted. Do I like it? No, but does she have the right to make informed choices about her body? yes. Informed & competent being the operative words. If I imagine my daughter in the same LFT situation, there's no way in hell you'd get her to do an LFT on herself if she had a strongly held view against doing so.

Looking at this from the other side, perhaps your son on reflection felt the right thing to do was to complete the test? It may be he, knowing your position on LFTs, is not being fully transparent on what happened. If your son is telling you he was coerced against his will, and felt he had no choice to refuse, then obviously that is a different matter and needs to be robustly addressed.

mumofblueeyes · 05/07/2021 23:10

Go read some of the dreadfully sad stories on the life limiting thread or even sadder, the blanket thread. Then maybe you will see a cotton bud up the nose is not too much to worry about in life.

twelly · 05/07/2021 23:12

Totally agree with op - at the end of the day this is a parents decision. A form was sent out - the parent makes a choice as is the same for trips, vaccinations and other activities.

ObviousNameChage · 05/07/2021 23:14

@mumofblueeyes

Go read some of the dreadfully sad stories on the life limiting thread or even sadder, the blanket thread. Then maybe you will see a cotton bud up the nose is not too much to worry about in life.
So consent and safeguarding (in any context) do not matter because other people have it much ,much worse?
saraclara · 05/07/2021 23:14

@mumofblueeyes

Go read some of the dreadfully sad stories on the life limiting thread or even sadder, the blanket thread. Then maybe you will see a cotton bud up the nose is not too much to worry about in life.
That entirely misses the point. As a pp said:

...consent isn't pick and mix.

Because "yeah it's bad,but it's ok in this case because the majority agree with it" is a very slippery slope

We can't have it both ways

If we took the view that 'some people have it much worse' nothing other than the very worst thing in the world would be addressed. It's not a zero sum game. There are many things in the world that matter, and consent is one of them.

earthyfire · 05/07/2021 23:15

I'd be very very pissed off. My son can't have the test anymore as he developed a nose/sinus infection due to the constant test prodding. If my son was forced this would have caused problems. I also wouldn't have been happy about the teacher giving her opinion on the matter and making my son feel as if he should give in and take the test...that's not him making his own decision that's him feeling overpowered by someone in authority.

Solidaritea · 05/07/2021 23:17

People have misunderstood my last post.
My point was simply that shoving a stick up your nose is not something that would require parental consent if it wasn't a covid thing.

I didn't argue that the school did the right thing (they didn't because the guidelines require consent). I didn't suggest that it would be fine to plaster photos of kids all over the internet, or whatever else.

Warmduscher · 05/07/2021 23:20

@xprincessxjanetx

The point the OP is trying to make (as I see it) is she has nothing against the LFT as such. She isn't angry because he had it. The anger is placed with the fact they ignored her declined consent and did it anyway. Yes, they did ask her son and he 'changed his mind' but I don't think that counts as getting his consent when he was asked in front of all his classmates and possibly made to feel like he was being backed into a corner.
Didn’t she say they had a family meeting and she decided she was against testing because she thinks it’s unreliable?

So actually she does have something against LFTs, it’s not just that she’s annoyed about her DS having the test.

xprincessxjanetx · 05/07/2021 23:22

Yes that is true but her DD had been permitted by the OP to take them so my point was that the OP would not have refused if her DS had expressed desire to consent in the first place.

LolaSmiles · 05/07/2021 23:23

Sorry if I misunderstood Solidaritea.
I see what you were meaning. Smile

A lateral flow test isn't just sticking a stick up your nose though. It's a medical test. The consent is for a medical test being conducted, not just sticking a swab up your nose.

Marriedatfirstyear · 05/07/2021 23:24

His friends were probably having the test and he didn't want to cause a scene so agreed to it yet knows you'll kick off so .....

LoveManyTrustfewAlwaysPaddle · 05/07/2021 23:26

This is just the first of many instances of your DS thinking for himself, long may it continue. Grin

StormcloakNord · 05/07/2021 23:26

It's a basic medical test with a swab up your nose Jesus Christ it's not like they laid him on a table and shoved a tube down his throat.

I don't get people like you OP. How do you have the energy to get worked up over something as stupid as this? Confused

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 05/07/2021 23:27

@OhRene

What a clever kid, overriding senseless decisions.
But the child didn't override anything. The child was talked into something by an authority figure.
ElephantMoth · 05/07/2021 23:28

I would be raging if this was my son, going against someone's wishes who did not consent is a sackable offence in my NHS job, please go ballistic and go right to the top about this. This is outrageous.

saraclara · 05/07/2021 23:29

@StormcloakNord

It's a basic medical test with a swab up your nose Jesus Christ it's not like they laid him on a table and shoved a tube down his throat.

I don't get people like you OP. How do you have the energy to get worked up over something as stupid as this? Confused

Is consent something entirely unimportant to you? Or do you think it has no legal standing unless it's something that matters to you?

The need for consent is fundamental. Whatever it applies to.

ElephantMoth · 05/07/2021 23:29

@ineedaholidaynow

He's old enough to override your consent. How does he feel about having the test?
No he is not, he is 13 years old and unless he has been assessed using Gillick competence, then he is not old enough and adult consent is required.
saraclara · 05/07/2021 23:30

@LoveManyTrustfewAlwaysPaddle

This is just the first of many instances of your DS thinking for himself, long may it continue. Grin
He didn't. He was shamed in front of his peers to a point where he felt he had to agree to it.
ObviousNameChage · 05/07/2021 23:30

@StormcloakNord

It's a basic medical test with a swab up your nose Jesus Christ it's not like they laid him on a table and shoved a tube down his throat.

I don't get people like you OP. How do you have the energy to get worked up over something as stupid as this? Confused

If it's wrong in one case, it's wrong in the other. The rules don't change depending on societal opinion on how easy or simple or insignificant it is.
Sweettea1 · 05/07/2021 23:31

All the medical procedure comments haha surprised your not crying out for surgeons todo the testing haha.

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 05/07/2021 23:32

Schools need EITHER parental consent or students' consent - not both.
Parent and student both consent - test happens
Parent consents and student doesn't - no test but student can have disciplinary action as appropriate.
Parents don't consent and student does - test happens.
Parents don't consent and student doesn't consent - no test.

If child feels pressured by an authority figure - no consent.

Iggi999 · 05/07/2021 23:34

But none of us know what "went down" at the school. All that is known is what the boy told his mother

twelly · 05/07/2021 23:35

A parent makes a decision the schools follow it- the form asked for consent - it was not given.

chickenyhead · 05/07/2021 23:35

It isnt only medical professionals who can assess gillick competence at all. It has been used in the family courts and by social workers for years to consider children's opinions.

Aside from that, OP your plan seems fair and sensible.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 05/07/2021 23:35

Multiple posters have explained why Gillick competence doesn't apply here

Multiple posters who don't understand the law on competence and consent have given their subjective views, you mean.

Gillick is simply a restatement of the already existing (at the time of Gillick) law on the competence and autonomy of children, which is wider than healthcare, and which has subsequently been reinforced by statute, e.g. by the Children Acts.

Posters who are C&Ping bits of Gillick and claiming it only applies when exercised by healthcare professionals are just showing they don't understand the law. The rights of competent children to exercise autonomy are much broader than the context of healthcare.

In many scenarios, including LFTs, it is not lawful to override the wishes of a competent child. The fact that a school may not have trained teachers in the law is not an excuse to over-ride it. The OP's DS was legally entitled to consent, regardless of the OP's view.