School conducted a LFT on my son, against my consent

[duckme]

We received an email from our school to say that, due to the increase in covid cases, they are going to resume the LFT scheme in school (secondary) rather than at home. They sent an online consent form for parents to complete. I declined consent. I marked the form as such and sent it back electronically. My son was actually isolating until today as his bubble had burst, but I reminded him that he didn't have consent for the tests so he wasn't to have one. I know mistakes can happen and forms can be misplaced so I wanted to make sure he was fully aware of my consent.
He came home today and informed me that he had the test.
He said the whole class was called the the hall. The lady could see on the list that he hasn't got consent and asked him about it. He repeated what I had told him, 'my mom said, I'm not to have one'. The lady then proceeded to lecture him about protecting his family and friends. He is 13 and gave in to the person of authority in front of him. Despite them having explicit instructions to the contrary.
AIBU in being absolutely livid? That person ignored written consent, ignored the verbal consent of my son and then guilted him into having an invasive test.
I'll be contacting the school tomorrow to complain but I'd like to know if my covid fatigue is making me over react a little. But I can't imagine it being ok for a school to override parental consent in this way pre covid! Have we all surrendered all our our rights now? Even our parental ones?

Yanbu. Irrespective of your reasons you are the authority over your son’s health and the school had no right to override you and certainly not to bully a 13 yr old until he gave in. I think that’s shocking.

@ObviousNameChage

* Or had he been nfluenced into ‘not’ taking the test at home? We only have the OPs very biased opinion. Would be very interesting to hear her sons version of events and that of the school staff.*

The issue is those versions can't come to light, unless OP brings it up to the school.

A lot of posters seem to think coercion is irrelevant anyways as it's for the "greater good". Which is fucking terrifying.

Indeed.

@2bunny

Take away the covid and forget the lft. This is about a parent and a child, the mother has refused consent as a parent of the child, some who has no relationship with the child is not a parent or guardian has told this child his mother is wrong and she is right and he has been made to feel ashamed and the parents consent has been taken away this is not acceptable under any circumstances

Even if not COVID related, parents STILL do not own their kids, and teenagers with sufficient competency are STILL entitled to make decisions for themselves regarding healthcare.

The OP never had the right to make the decision for a competent teenager with no SEN. His consent (or refusal) will override hers, and rightly so, because it's his body and he's old enough to decide for himself.

YANBU

Here are the events as we know them (and I will happily be corrected if I've got them wrong):

• school sends home consent form for LFT as school (whether they should have, given the age of the children involved and expected competency is not the point - they did)

• OP and family discuss the matter, agree together to decline consent

• Child at school repeats what is said on paperwork, that he is not to have the test, but is 'lectured' into having it by a member of staff

Two things stand out to me:

1. If consent is requested, it should be respected - written refusal of consent, followed by verbal refusal of consent (even if it is as simple as 'I'm not having it, my mum said I'm not to' - it's still refusal of consent).

1. Any indication of coercion overrides the concept of expected competency - as previous posters have said, Gillick relies on no coercion to determine competency.

So essentially, the OP can't be unreasonable - whether the stance taken is agreed with is immaterial, the wishes of both parent and child were overridden, as the child received the LFT only after coercion by an adult (who, as PPs have said, I would be gobsmacked to find was actually trained to assess competency in teenagers).

@MajesticWhine

YABU - and I don't need to give the reason why.

👏

YANBU I would question it with the school.

Whether we agree with the op's view or not is irrelevant here She did not give permission and her child was pushed to do something he previously had not intended to do.

In loco parentis; you agree to this every time your on child goes to school. Teachers have a duty of care and ensuring Covid safe environment is part of this. Because it wasn’t a medication, they could enforce testing. In some cases (boarding) schools can give consent for vaccinations due to the “in loco parentis” and child welfare act.

Another thread on here where the OP makes out they have any interest in hearing why they might be being unreasonable (their son chose to have the test in the end, the concept of not arbitrarily opting out of something that is in the best interests of the group etc) and then just ignores or disagrees with any opinion that isn’t theirs. Why make the thread? You’ve already decided you are correct, of course you are.

@chickenyhead unless you are reading different guidelines to me, you are wrong as a competency test is needed for each individual under 16 - even if there are assumptions - can you provide the exact quote which proves what you think it proves, and say where it is from? Nb here the OP has been told her DS was persuaded to take the test which makes it even less likely to be right. But if you are right then fine - if you can link the correct reference then I will bow to your greater knowledge! It has not ever been relevant for my dc.

@thatisschocking I have not seen any evidence that a LFT has any disadvantage to the child, except those caused distress by the procedure due to special needs. Please explain why a parent would refuse an LFT except for distress due to special needs

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow thanks for the condescending message, having worked in both education (teacher) and children's health (nurse) I am well aware of how children may give their own version of events.

I was just going from what the OP had said and pointing out to others that to be deemed 'Gillick competent' is not quite as simple as 'he's 13' etc.

I later asked the OP if she had discussed it with her son prior to returning the consent letter, as this is the most important thing.

YANBU - I think most posters on here have been mind controlled by Boris.

The school have gone AGAINST your consent form. It’s literally that simple. AGAINST your consent. I would be taking it further if it was one of my dc.

Maybe your son decided to give consent at school. Then when he saw you going apeshit about it thought he’d get less grief if he told you he was under pressure. If you’re that bothered, don’t send him to school. It’s hard enough in school at the moment without having to deal with this kind of shit.

He did not refuse the test, he said his mum did, then did it himself?

I obviously reside on a different planet to you, where I don't see children of that age as possessions.

What an absolute disgrace this country is becoming.

It starts with an LFT then it will be the HPV and slippery slope until we end up like the situation in Canada.

I would not be angry, I would be devastated.

@ForeverSausages

Apparently Gillick competency is being used with regards to LFT's. This is actually quite concerning. So my 6 year old could be coerced in school to have an LFT and that would be perfectly okay & legal? (We do them at home but he has SEN and would really very upset at having to do them at school).

LFTs are for over 12s- presumably because that's the sort of age when kids can do it themselves.

@BluebellsGreenbells

Why are you happy for all his classmates to check their status to protect your child, but won’t let your child protect his classmates?

Bit selfish.

^^ this I’ve spoken to someone today who doesn’t want to get the vaccine. Doesn’t believe it is safe. While at the same time, moaning about all the restrictions and how unfair it is that we are still not able to do everything we want to do. Whilst completely failing to see that those people who have had the vaccination are the reason that these things will be able to reopen again.
Makes me so annoyed.

@Blindstupid just because people don't agree with your way of thinking doesn't mean that they've been mind controlled at all.

@2021Vision

Gillick competency is routinely trotted out on here everytime a parent has concerns or does not want their child to have something that others think is normal.

As far as I am aware there is no actual test of competency, it is all based on the person in control making a decision. The sad thing is this, if it goes wrong then it will be the parent picking up the pieces.

Personally i do not agree with Gillick competence, there is not enough rigour around deciding a child is competent enough. I think we are already seeing it being abused and I predict it will get worse.

The school did the wrong thing, you said no, your son said no, they continued anyway. I would be livid.

You are misinformed. The tests of competency are clearly laid out and are that an individual must be able to understand the consequences of a decision and be able to communicate his/her decision. Competency for a swab will be a much lower threshold to reach than - say - a kidney transplant.

As for whether you disagree with Gillick, that's something you will have to take up with Parliament. Gillick is the established law of this country and the school would have been acting unlawfully if it allowed the OP's withholding of consent to over-ride her DS's giving of consent.

The issue isn't whether you agree with LFT but you were asked for permission and refused it. Under those circumstances It's not up to a staff member to treat your son to a lecture in front of his school friends and make him have a test.

I would have agreed to the test as we've found them to be a good indication of +ve result.

@B1rthis

What an absolute disgrace this country is becoming.

It starts with an LFT then it will be the HPV and slippery slope until we end up like the situation in Canada.

I would not be angry, I would be devastated.

Devastated?

Also - unrelated, but kind of not - if I hear the phrase "for the greater good" much more, I might actually scream. It's right up there with "new normal" as a phrase that suggests we shouldn't question anything and accept what we're being told without question.

The school asked for the form the form was discussed and declined by the family at home this is different from when something has not been discussed yes the child has there own right to their own body and what goes in or happens to them but when it has been discussed and even then the parent and the child's concent has been taken away and a lot of you seem happy about this I'm very confused

It's concerning how many posters think that if there is no SEN then a DC is automatically competent to make a decision about medical care. Developmentally, a 13-yr-old's frontal lobe isn't matured.
Even a DC without SEN may forget an allergy or underlying health condition that would contraindicate against a certain medical pathway. And from my experience and DSIS' experience, the nurses (two different schools; two different issues) did not ask about allergies or underlying conditions. I do wonder who is liable if a nurse pushes a DC to over-ride a parental consent form and their actions cause an adverse reaction in the DC.

Schools really hate parents like you. You try and cause trouble over something that is so important you That is so stupid not giving consent I'm glad your son had more sense than you