School conducted a LFT on my son, against my consent

[duckme]

We received an email from our school to say that, due to the increase in covid cases, they are going to resume the LFT scheme in school (secondary) rather than at home. They sent an online consent form for parents to complete. I declined consent. I marked the form as such and sent it back electronically. My son was actually isolating until today as his bubble had burst, but I reminded him that he didn't have consent for the tests so he wasn't to have one. I know mistakes can happen and forms can be misplaced so I wanted to make sure he was fully aware of my consent.
He came home today and informed me that he had the test.
He said the whole class was called the the hall. The lady could see on the list that he hasn't got consent and asked him about it. He repeated what I had told him, 'my mom said, I'm not to have one'. The lady then proceeded to lecture him about protecting his family and friends. He is 13 and gave in to the person of authority in front of him. Despite them having explicit instructions to the contrary.
AIBU in being absolutely livid? That person ignored written consent, ignored the verbal consent of my son and then guilted him into having an invasive test.
I'll be contacting the school tomorrow to complain but I'd like to know if my covid fatigue is making me over react a little. But I can't imagine it being ok for a school to override parental consent in this way pre covid! Have we all surrendered all our our rights now? Even our parental ones?

Thirteen-year-olds will generally give their parents the version of events that will ensure a quiet life. OP should seriously consider the possibility that her son was quite happy to consent to the test (which will almost certainly have been self-administered) but that, knowing how strongly his mother feels about the issue, he has framed it slightly differently in his recount.

Yanbu and this is a serious concern about the school. They clearly have not a clue about basic legal framework. Very concerning

If his opinion is that he wanted a test then at his age he would usually be deemed competent to give consent

I also assume, as it was an LFT, he carried out his own test. I doubt a teacher did it to him. So it's unlikely he was forced.

You're calling it a medical exam - it isn't really is it?
Pretty daft hill to choose to die on in my opinion. Selfish and setting a bad example.

As his parent you did not give consent. That's all that matters.

What about what the son wants? Do you think the OPs decision should override what he wants?

[quote espressoontap]**@duckme* you still haven't answered my question. If he wanted* to do the test and voiced this during your 'discussion', would you have respected that? [/quote]
Of course. My 16 year old daughter did hers at home throughout her last few months at school.

[quote espressoontap]**@duckme* you still haven't answered my question. If he wanted* to do the test and voiced this during your 'discussion', would you have respected that? [/quote]
Exactly. He is old enough to decide something with minimal long term consequences to himself.

Did you give him the choice?

OP's reasons for not consenting are not relevant - we don't need to know why. We all have differing opinions on rights and wrongs.

The fact is there is a process - schools DO have to get parental consent, otherwise why would they be bothering in the first place? In my school when I helped with testing each child had to file past the secretary who would check consent had been received.

Therefore if they didn't get consent they are in the wrong. It doesn't matter if you agree with the OP or not.

We, as a family, did actually have a very in depth discussion about it. He wasn't 'controlled' - christ if you've seen some of my other posts, you'd know how absurd the notion of me controlling him actually is!

I looked at some of your other posts. I did notice you worked in a school so would presumably know exactly how to make a complaint regarding this. Do you have to do LFTs yourself?

There's a child in my form who refuses to test. 6th former. Not a lot we can do, but it does make me think very poorly of him. Everyone else does it no problem.

I genuinely can't see a reason why you wouldn't consent.

@SupermanInk

The question is, should anyone lecture another person to do something until they give in. I think not.

I agree but only the OPs son knows if he was lectured into it or if he willing chose to have the LFT and then made up some nonsense about why to appease his mother who clearly would have not respected his opinion on having the test if that's what he wanted.

What was the reason for declining consent out of interest?

Help me to understand the mentality of people that refuse the tests for nonmedical reasons.

YABU - and a drama lama.

If the son really didn’t want it they wouldn’t be holding him down to do it.

For those saying the school shouldn’t have gone against the parents wishes, if the parent had consented to the test and her son said no when the nurse came to give him the test, should the nurse held him down to do it because his mum sad he should have it?

@Sparklingbrook

We, as a family, did actually have a very in depth discussion about it. He wasn't 'controlled' - christ if you've seen some of my other posts, you'd know how absurd the notion of me controlling him actually is!

I looked at some of your other posts. I did notice you worked in a school so would presumably know exactly how to make a complaint regarding this. Do you have to do LFTs yourself?

No, LFT's aren't mandatory. I opted not to do them as I'm not class based. None of my none class based colleagues do them either.

If I had refused a flu vaccine of religious grounds and the school/school nurse decided it was for the greater good that my son receive it, would that me ok too?

If your ds wanted the flu vaccine, then yes, he should (and would) be able to override your wishes,

There is also quite a big difference between a nurse sticking a needle and injecting him with a vaccine than him sticking a swab up his own nose for an LFT.

@Vintagevixen

OP's reasons for not consenting are not relevant - we don't need to know why. We all have differing opinions on rights and wrongs.

The fact is there is a process - schools DO have to get parental consent, otherwise why would they be bothering in the first place? In my school when I helped with testing each child had to file past the secretary who would check consent had been received.

Therefore if they didn't get consent they are in the wrong. It doesn't matter if you agree with the OP or not.

This.

I may not agree with your decision but it was your decision and school were wrong to carry out the test against your wishes and to put your ds on the spot.

YANBU. Disgraceful.

@Abraxan

If I had refused a flu vaccine of religious grounds and the school/school nurse decided it was for the greater good that my son receive it, would that me ok too?

If your ds wanted the flu vaccine, then yes, he should (and would) be able to override your wishes,

There is also quite a big difference between a nurse sticking a needle and injecting him with a vaccine than him sticking a swab up his own nose for an LFT.

Exactly

YANBU
If it was a mistake and they had overlooked the fact that you hadn’t given permission then that would be different. Why bother with consent forms if they are going to be disregarded 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ffs. This is why cases are going through the roof in schools. It’s not fucking hard to do a LFT.

YABU - and I don't need to give the reason why.