Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Original poster

Abiu to be annoyed that child minder gave child (15 months) laxative without permission

203 replies

Abracadabra1989 · 05/07/2021 18:56

Picked child up from childminders yesterday and after a brief chat in the morning where I explained that they was impacted and was struggling, they announced on pick up they had given her Luctulose, didn't inform my of how much or what time and didn't even ask my permission or tell me she was going to do so.
Would you be annoyed, am I being unreasonable to be annoyed?
I hate confrontation and was also a little taken a back at the time so didn't say anything.
She has given me some in a syringe to give her at home when she was bunged up a few months ago but I didn't give it her as weren't sure it was for her age and just binned it

OP posts:

Toddlerteaplease · 06/07/2021 02:18

It's lactulose not arsenic, get a grip people.

Babyjune21 · 06/07/2021 04:14

What’a she going to do next give your child a sleeping tablet when they won’t nap ? Remove your child from their care

CheerfulYank · 06/07/2021 04:54

As a former childminder, I wouldn’t have dreamed of it.

However since you’d taken it before, I can JUST see how she might have thought it was ok...however, I still wouldn’t have done it without contacting you to be sure.

blahblahblah321 · 06/07/2021 07:15

@Toddlerteaplease

It's lactulose not arsenic, get a grip people.

My issue isn't what it is - it's the fact the childminder thinks it's ok to give medication without getting in touch with parents. If that's how she behaves with lactulose, I'd be worried how she handles calpol etc. Does she just assume that's ok too? What if the child has already had a dose?

If not pulling the child out, I certainly would be checking her medicine policy to make sure it's clear that she shouldn't be medicating a child without permission - as should be the case.

21Bee · 06/07/2021 07:27

There is a difference between a medicine being available on prescription and it being only a prescription medicine.

Lactulose is available for all ages over 1 over the counter, it ISN’T prescription only. Evidenced by me buying last week. I told the pharmacy assistant it was for a 13 month old and she handed it over without a word.

Seeleyboo · 06/07/2021 07:41

Lactolose is a prescribed drug, therefore it would have been prescribed to a specific person. Giving someone not named on that drug is illegal and she can be prosecuted.

Original poster

Abracadabra1989 · 06/07/2021 07:52

Just to clarify for people who think I'm leaving my child impacted and not doing anything about it I have spoken to my GP and they won't even see her I spoke to my health visitor as they can prescribe she referred us to a constipation clinic which our appointment isnt for another week. I'm a single parent and I don't have anyone I can leave my daughter with while I go to work if I waited till her appointment before sending her to childcare I'd be out of a job and not be able to afford my rent or food for her. The child minder was happy to take her and she didn't actually seem in pain she just looks extremely bloated with a very hard stomach.
I have however last night found a new childminder as I was looking anyway as she never takes my daughter out of the house as she is unable to walk in wellies and refuses to take her out in trainers even though I've said I don't mind them getting dirty, she also doesn't spoon feed her as she says at 15 months she should be doing this herself so doesn't always gets food during the day.
I work with children myself and even for medication that's pro re nata would need to be checked with parents, social workers, and GP before being given I feel she should have mentioned it to me before giving it her however I will not be ruining her career due to this but I think she needs to brush up her knowledge on medication giving. I do think she thought she was helping but she was just so unaware of what I could have previously given her.

OP posts:

LeonieSims · 06/07/2021 09:15

Lactolose is a prescribed drug, therefore it would have been prescribed to a specific person. Giving someone not named on that drug is illegal and she can be prosecuted.

Except you can buy it OTC without a prescription...

Batsy · 06/07/2021 09:15

@Abracadabra1989

As much as i think you're doing the right thing in regards to finding a new childminder.

"she never takes my daughter out of the house as she is unable to walk in wellies and refuses to take her out in trainers even though I've said I don't mind them getting dirty, she also doesn't spoon feed her as she says at 15 months she should be doing this herself so doesn't always gets food during the day."

This, on top of what you've told us about her administering medication without parental consent, should be grounds for reporting her to OFSTED. She is not an appropriate or safe person to be leaving a child with.

Batsy · 06/07/2021 09:15

(And i'm saying that as a previous childcare professional)

LeonieSims · 06/07/2021 09:18

People are getting confused between medicine being able to be prescribed, and medicine being prescription-only.

ClawedButler · 06/07/2021 10:25

@Throckmorton

The child could have galactosemia for all the childcare providers knows, which is why she shouldn't be giving out drugs in this way.

Exactly.

There are lots of seemingly innocuous things that could spell disaster for certain kids in certain situations - even a breakfast cereal could be fatal. Yes it will probably be fine, but that's luck, not judgement.

CM is not a healthcare professional.
CM did not bother to find out what else was being done and whether or not lactulose had the potential to interfere with that.
CM had no authority to make decisions about the child's health.

IME childminders are thoughtful and experienced and know that this kind of thing crosses a line. If this woman doesn't know that what she has done has the potential to cause harm, then she needs to not be in charge of children until she understands that.

Throckmorton · 06/07/2021 12:03

@Abracadabra1989

Just to clarify for people who think I'm leaving my child impacted and not doing anything about it I have spoken to my GP and they won't even see her I spoke to my health visitor as they can prescribe she referred us to a constipation clinic which our appointment isnt for another week. I'm a single parent and I don't have anyone I can leave my daughter with while I go to work if I waited till her appointment before sending her to childcare I'd be out of a job and not be able to afford my rent or food for her. The child minder was happy to take her and she didn't actually seem in pain she just looks extremely bloated with a very hard stomach. I have however last night found a new childminder as I was looking anyway as she never takes my daughter out of the house as she is unable to walk in wellies and refuses to take her out in trainers even though I've said I don't mind them getting dirty, she also doesn't spoon feed her as she says at 15 months she should be doing this herself so doesn't always gets food during the day. I work with children myself and even for medication that's pro re nata would need to be checked with parents, social workers, and GP before being given I feel she should have mentioned it to me before giving it her however I will not be ruining her career due to this but I think she needs to brush up her knowledge on medication giving. I do think she thought she was helping but she was just so unaware of what I could have previously given her.

Whoa, hang on - she doesn't always feed your daughter?!!! Thats neglect. For that alone I would be reporting her. Who cares if her career is ruined when she is neglecting the kids in her care?!

yellowjellytot · 06/07/2021 14:33

@Abracadabra1989

Just to clarify for people who think I'm leaving my child impacted and not doing anything about it I have spoken to my GP and they won't even see her I spoke to my health visitor as they can prescribe she referred us to a constipation clinic which our appointment isnt for another week. I'm a single parent and I don't have anyone I can leave my daughter with while I go to work if I waited till her appointment before sending her to childcare I'd be out of a job and not be able to afford my rent or food for her. The child minder was happy to take her and she didn't actually seem in pain she just looks extremely bloated with a very hard stomach. I have however last night found a new childminder as I was looking anyway as she never takes my daughter out of the house as she is unable to walk in wellies and refuses to take her out in trainers even though I've said I don't mind them getting dirty, she also doesn't spoon feed her as she says at 15 months she should be doing this herself so doesn't always gets food during the day. I work with children myself and even for medication that's pro re nata would need to be checked with parents, social workers, and GP before being given I feel she should have mentioned it to me before giving it her however I will not be ruining her career due to this but I think she needs to brush up her knowledge on medication giving. I do think she thought she was helping but she was just so unaware of what I could have previously given her.

Reporting her to Ofsted wouldn't necessarily ruin her career. They would probably do an unannounced visit, if everything seemed ok they would just talk her through the incident and ask her to put some changes in place. Have you seen her certificate or report by the way? I find it difficult to understand how someone ofsted registered would be able to not know they can't give medication without permission.

MadeForThis · 06/07/2021 14:35

She sounds awful.

rainbowstardrops · 06/07/2021 15:14

Nobody should be giving your child medication without your permission. End of!
If she thought it might help then she should have discussed this and asked if you wanted her to give it a go. Simple.
As to not feeding her or taking her out of the house either ..... it sounds like she's in the wrong job.

Original poster

Abracadabra1989 · 06/07/2021 15:22

I haven't seen her certificate she was on the govs website for Ofsted registered child minders however she is awaiting Her first inspection.
By not feeding her I mean she gives her food but she can't feed herself so sits with it Infront of her unable to eat, she doesn't like dirty messy hands so won't put her hands in her food, I don't mean she just doesn't give her any either way both are horrible. Also I have spoken to Ofsted this morning waiting to hear back from them

OP posts:

EmeraldShamrock · 07/07/2021 01:59

Just to clarify for people who think I'm leaving my child impacted and not doing anything about it I have spoken to my GP and they won't even see her I spoke to my health visitor as they can prescribe she referred us to a constipation clinic which our appointment isnt for another week. I'm a single parent and I don't have anyone I can leave my daughter with while I go to work if I waited till her appointment before sending her to childcare I'd be out of a job and not be able to afford my rent or food for her. The child minder was happy to take her and she didn't actually seem in pain she just looks extremely bloated with a very hard stomach.
Sorry I meant to reply earlier, my 2dc suffered severe constipation DD would look swollen yet not cry out her nature is very relaxed. Your Dd might be the same, prune juice helps tastes awful. Suppositories are available from 12 months and do help.
Around your CM and feeding DD she is a disgrace and same with the wellies.
Her feeding constipation and dislike of wellies are things the CM are fighting against, she is a cow.
I hope you find a lovely cm. It is very tough as a single DM. The suppositories are harmless use some vaseline too if trying them.
Goodluck.

EmeraldShamrock · 07/07/2021 02:02

by not feeding her I mean she gives her food but she can't feed herself so sits with it Infront of her unable to eat.
I'm so livid at the CM. Neither of mine could feed independently at that age lately diagnosed with ASD and other delays.

Throckmorton · 07/07/2021 10:24

I'm so glad you have reported her!

PineappleWilson · 07/07/2021 11:05

Even with something like calpol for teething, childcare providers have called me in advance, and asked me to counter sign a form on pick-up. Change the foods offered to the child to include more dried fruit and drinks, fine, but not giving medication that wasn't prescribed or agreed to by the parent.

FeatheredHope · 07/07/2021 17:32

Bloody hell. That update. I cannot believe you still left her with her after any of that.

HavelockVetinari · 07/07/2021 17:45

Bloody hell, don't be so ridiculous! Nobody is going to be prosecuted for giving sugar water to a toddler. And no, it isn't "pretty strong stuff", what a foolish thing to say. It's not a stimulant laxative, it's a very mild osmotic one, suitable for babies and pregnant women.

The hysteria and frothing at the mouth on this thread are hilarious and disturbing in equal measure

Aalvarino · 07/07/2021 18:40

So all these things in combination suggest poor communication and inability to listen to the parent.

None of these things in isolation would make me withdraw my child necessarily. Lactulose is not baby crack. Children who won't put on appropriate footwear or clothing can drive you to utter distraction.
Baby-led weaning is developmentally ok as a general strategy.

However... This just isn't working out and it's right to find someone else.

I guess we have to trust the regulator to ask the right questions and do their due diligence. Nothing wrong with reporting concerns. But equally there may be another side to things. The regulator will hear both and decide.

ChocolateFlamingo · 07/07/2021 19:25

Wow! Please pull DC out of there and find an alternative CM! I had to write a letter and sign it just for my DC's CM to give her antibiotics

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9